Broken Roads and Lonely Hearts

When I woke up my back was to Billie. I turned over to face him and found him lying on his back, studying the ceiling. I scooted closer to him and nuzzled in his neck. I kissed his neck slowly, and he pulled my body against his. His hand went to my leg, which I noticed was bare.

"Billie," I muttered, still kissing his neck. "Did you take my pants off?"

Billie laughed softly. "Yeah, you looked really uncomfortable when you were sleeping. I hope that's okay."

"It's perfectly okay Billie."

I positioned myself on top of him, now kissing his beautiful lips. I let my hands wander his body. He was only wearing boxers and I had a sudden urge to pull them off.

Billie kissed me roughly, when I touched him his body had responded and for once Billie couldn't hold it in. His hands roamed my body, and I loved it. I loved him and everything he loved. His lips left mine and I protested, trying to kiss him again. He laughed and covered my mouth with his hand.

"Patience angel," he murmured. "I just wanted to tell you I love what you did to the guitar pick." He removed his hand from my mouth and brushed the chain lightly. He kissed me quickly and sighed. "I kiss you way too much."

"You don't kiss me enough Billie Joe," I said as I kissed his nose.

"I think I kiss you way too much. But your lips just taste so damn good. And your body is just so heavenly and I really want you."

He stopped talking and went back to kissing, more forceful than before. I realized I was only wearing my bra and panties, and yet Billie's hands stayed mostly on my waist. I got back on top of him and grabbed his hands and put them on my breasts. I unhooked my bra and threw it at Billie. He smirked and looked at his hands, knowing what they were holding. I bit my lip because I could feel Billie growing from under me.

I pulled his hands down to my lap. His hands rubbed my thighs slowly and he kissed me with such passion I wanted to explode. We only had one article of clothing that separated our bodies. His thumbs brushed my hipbones and I shut my eyes, I loved it when he touched me there. I bit Billie's neck and he let out a faint sigh. I moved my hips against Billie's, and we were both getting more turned on with every touch. But Billie pushed me away as soon as my fingertips hooked in the fabric of his boxers.

I started to feel cold. I felt tears try to escape, but I blinked them quickly away.

"Why do you want to wait so bad?" I asked Billie, not looking in his direction.

"Because I wanted it to be special," he said, his voice filling the quiet room. "And it's honestly only two more weeks." He scooted close to me and kissed my cheek. He leaned down and grabbed my bra. I let him put it on me and he pulled me on his lap, rocking me like I was a baby.

"Look at me Katie."

Me being my stubborn self refused to look at him at first. Then I kissed his nose and smiled softly, standing up. "I have to go to the bathroom." Without another word I walked toward the door and tripped, letting out a scream on the way down. Billie picked me up and chuckled after checking that I was okay.

"You are so clumsy," he said, kissing me gently. Then he let me go and I shut the door behind me and leaned against the wall. There was a small dim light between the two doors, so I had just enough light to see what I wanted to. I pulled up the sleeve of my left glove and unclenched my hand. I had purposefully fallen so I had a chance to grab the blade that was in my pants. I slid it easily across my skin. It barely fazed me, it barely hurt, but it did make me feel better. I cut a little deeper, but I was careful to make sure I could stop the bleeding with my hand.

Then at that moment Billie opened the door and I the blade took a turn and cut down my arm. I dropped the blade and couldn't see straight. I heard Billie calling my name but I couldn't respond. When he had opened the door, my heart quickened and it cut deeper when it went vertically. I looked at my arm and just saw a huge red blur. I think I heard Billie say something about a hospital, but that didn't make sense to me. In fact, I couldn't even see Billie. I just saw darkness.

~~~

When I woke up I was in a hospital bed. Billie was in the chair next to my bed. He sighed with relief as I looked at him. I watched him stand up and kiss me gently but I didn't have enough strength to even kiss back.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he said as he kept kissing me. "You fell so hard and the cut was really deep and I didn't think you would make it and-"

"Shut up Billie," I smirked. "I'll be fine, this isn't my first hospital run." I wrapped my arms around Billie and kissed him. I sat up and placed a hand on the back of his neck. One of Billie's hands went up and down my spine and the other found itself between my legs. I bit my lip and he nibbled on my ear.

"I was so afraid I was going to lose you," he whispered. "I can't ever lose you Katie. I need you to live, without you I am nothing. I want to make love to you right now to show you how much I want you." He pulled back and looked into my eyes. "But alas, we can't do that here. But maybe I can give you a little bit of pleasure." His fingers brushed between my legs and I understood what he meant. I nodded and he smiled as he pulled my underwear down and off.

He got up and made sure the hospital room's door was locked and let the blinds fall. He quickly came back to the bed and spread my legs around him. He sucked on a couple of his fingers and I closed my eyes. He kissed me quickly and positioned himself above me.

"I love you Katie," he whispered. "I love you so much." I bit my lip as he gently pressed a finger in. "I can't lose you. I just love you so much." He went a little faster and I let out a faint moan. That caused him to instinctively go faster and my fingernails dug into his shoulders. He entered another finger in and I moaned louder than was necessary. Billie didn't seem to care and I opened my eyes for the first time, seeing that he was looking into mine. I blinked and he kissed me.

I started calling out his name without even meaning to. His name just seemed to keep falling out of my mouth, over and over. Billie stopped a few minutes later and I stared at the ceiling as he watched me.

"How was that angel?" He asked me as his kissed my neck. His body was so close to mine, so close it seemed like our heartbeats became one.

"I think that was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced," I admitted. He chuckled and bit softly.

"That wasn't even real sex, love. You'll love that even more. God your sounds made me so happy, that I could make you produce them made me feel amazing inside."

"I love you Billie Joe."

"I love you Katie." He paused. "Your hospital bracelet says Kaitlyn Armstrong. I find that kind of funny."

"Why?" I didn't find anything funny about my name, it was just a name.

"Because my name is Billie Joe Armstrong."

"No way."

"Yes way. That makes me know even more that you're the one because we already have the same last name, so it's like we're already married."

I giggled and kissed him. He smiled and kissed back. But then the door swung open and we pulled apart. I realized my lower half was in clear sight and quickly covered up. The person that walked in was Nicole. I swallowed and looked at Billie. I was pretty sure she knew what Billie and I had done just a few minutes ago. She walked to the opposite side of the bed and picked up my underwear, causing me to blush and turn really red.

"I'm disappointed in you Katie," she said as she threw my panties at me. I hid them behind me and looked down. "Cutting yourself, then letting this boy do whatever he did that made you have to be half naked for. I don't have a lot of rules, you know that, but you know I think you should be sexually active after high school. You've been here for less than three months and this punk ass boy is already touching you." She glared at Billie. "I love you Kaitlyn, as if you were my own daughter, so I can't let you do this to yourself. You don't want to turn out like a whore like your mother do you?"

"My mother wasn't a whore," I spat out. I was embarrassed she was scolding me in front of Billie. "And teenagers have sex Nicole, you had sex, mom had sex, everyone had sex."

"Well at least my first time was with a virgin." My eyes went automatically to Billie. "Oh don't act like I don't know about Billie. I heard he's slept with almost every girl in his grade. Please note he's also a whole year older than you Kaitlyn. He will never be able to love you, he doesn't know what love is. He just wants to fuck you and leave. I know all about you two, how you keep wanting him but he wants to wait and make you seem like you're his one and only. He wants to make you feel special." She turned to Billie until he looked up at her. "I know how you are Billie, and you better stay the fuck away from Katie. I'm not going to let her lose her virginity to a boy like you." Nicole turned back to me but I couldn't meet her eyes. "I would think twice before you kiss this boy again. He's using you, and the sooner you realize that, the better things will be." She walked out of the room without another word.

I let the tears I've been holding in fall. I started sobbing and Billie hesitantly wrapped his arms around me. "Is she telling the truth?" I asked. "Are you just using me? Please just tell me the truth."

"Of course I'm not Katie," Billie said quietly. "I honestly love you with all of my heart and I'm sorry I don't take the time to express that. The first time you came into my life, I felt my heart stop. All of the love that was trapped in my heart surpassed all of the lust. I have no doubt when I'm with you, I know that I love you. I take your hand because I want to, I kiss you because I want to, I love you because I want to. I'm just glad I have someone like you to help guide me, while at the same time I can guide you. I know some people don't ever find someone like I've found you, and I feel so sorry for them. You're just so beautiful and I need you and I'm glad I have you."

I smiled and stared at Billie. "Can you make that into a song please. That was so perfect. Are you a poet or something?"

"No, just a crappy songwriter."

I kissed his lips softly. "Well you have a voice. That's a talent. And your lips aren't just good with singing either."

"You know just how to turn me on don't you?" Billie sucked on my bottom lip as I ran my hands through his hair, which was oddly longer than mine. A few people who saw us holding hands from behind must think that we're a lesbian couple. We both wear skinny jeans too tight for our own good and his shirts aren't too better. He likes to dress well and comfortable, he says. It must have to do with the fact he's bisexual, but then again, I eat like a guy whenever I'm at his house.

His fingers traced my inner thigh. "We should get you out of here," he whispered in my ear. "If we stay indoors any longer I won't be able to keep my hands off you."

I kissed him and agreed. We walked out and went to a nurse to find my clothes. I went to change and Billie asked if he could come in. I hesitated but didn't see any harm in the act. I closed the bathroom door and tore off the smock as Billie sat on the stool next to the toilet. Billie bit his lip and stared at my bare chest. I looked at my feet and walked over to him and sat on his lap. I tried to ignore the fact I was completely naked in front of him. His lips found my neck and he bit down the tiniest bit, but it still got me really excited. His hands went to my breasts and he bit down harder. I let out a moan and he pulled back and sighed.

"I love you so much Katie," he said after a moment of silence.

"I love you more Billie Joe," I answered. I got off of him and finished dressing. We walked outside holding hands and he started walking me home. When we got to my porch he lifted me off the ground and held me. I latched my legs around his waist to support myself.

"Nicole's going to be gone next week," I said as I kissed Billie's nose. "Then she won't be back until January. That means we can spend three weeks here if you want. And we have a lot of y'know," I watched him smile at my response, "sex."

"I thought Katie Armstrong didn't swear," Billie chuckled.

"I didn't swear. All I said was sex."

Billie kissed me, still laughing. "God you are so cute, I just wanna be yours forever."

"I wanna be yours forever too. I mean it Billie. I love you more than it seems I do."

Billie kissed me one last time and put me down. I was two inches taller than him so he had to life his head and get on his toes to try to be taller. I giggled as he tripped over his two feet. "Don't trip," I muttered as his lips found mine again. This time I pushed Billie away. "Go home you silly love-struck boy."

Billie smiled, stole one last kiss from me, and then skipped off home. Yeah, he was literally skipping. I loved that boy so much.