Status: Hiatus

Kissing Death

Day 74

Near sunset

It’s been almost forty-eight hours since I’ve left the farm. Jason hasn’t come hunting for me yet. No one has come for me. I don’t know what I was thinking--running away with no food or water. I wonder if anyone has noticed that I’m missing.

I ran for miles when I left. I was able to sneak by Dale, who was taking watch. Yesterday, at sunrise, I was deep in the woods when I looked back at the ground I’d covered. Somehow, I expected Rick to come running after me and carry me back to camp. But I knew it wouldn’t happen. The last time I had checked, he and Glenn were off searching for Hershel.

“Just let her go, man,” I imagined Shane saying to Rick after he would return. “She ain’t a valuable asset to our group. She’s just trouble. Let her go.”

Then I imagined Rick complying and forgetting all about me.

I continued to run until my knees began to give out. I sat around for hours, staring at my hands, and wondered if I was stuck in some nightmare for the past seventy days.

Before I could snap out of it, the sun had already gone down. I got up and carried on. I clenched onto my machete as I walked through the forest. My flashlight began to flicker, so I turned it off to save the battery. That was when I was approached by a walker.

I swung my machete down onto the top of its head and ripped it away, hearing its skull crack as it fell to the ground.

I stumbled across a tree that seemed suitable for me to sleep in. The weight of my backpack made it difficult for me to climb and caused me to fall a couple times, but I got up there eventually. The tree limb was unusually comfortable and I was soon asleep.

I woke up this morning from a fearful dream of falling. I jolted and grabbed a nearby branch, realizing I was leaning far over the edge.

Grunting noises snagged my attention and I saw about three walkers at the bottom of the tree, reaching for me. I pulled my machete out of my pack and took a deep breath.

I jumped down from the tree limb, landing on one of the walkers and smashing its skull with my foot. As the other two walkers approached me, I struck them with one strong swing and beheaded them both. I screamed as I stabbed each of their heads, splashing warm, dark blood onto my skin.

Once the afternoon had come, I reached a river and cleansed myself of the walker blood. By then, my stomach was cramping and begging me for food. I knew there wasn’t any kind of food around here, so I didn’t bother with looking.

I’ve been sitting at the river up until now, unsure of how many miles I’ve gone. I want to sleep, but I might have my flesh ripped into by the time I wake up.

I’ve come to realize that no one is coming to look for me. And that’s exactly what I wanted. All my life, I wished to just be on my own, not having to be anyone’s burden.

But now that I finally got what I wished for, I’m sort of scared. I guess it just takes some getting used to.

The heat is killing me right now. I’m covered in sweat and my mouth is completely dried out. I can feel my heart rate slowing down. I’m tempted to drink the river water, but I know it isn’t safe. For all I know, there could be a dead animal in the water--somewhere upstream--contaminated by walker bites.

In a way, I do wish I could have said goodbye to Rick or at least left him a note. But does he even care? I’ve started to believe what Shane said. Maybe I really am that rag doll that Rick uses. The thought stings me, but they always say that the truth--

Image


Nighttime - sometime past ten

He found me.

I must have fainted, because when I opened my eyes, I was lying in the dirt and I saw him running towards me, shouting my name. Even then, my vision was still unclear and each blink seemed to take an eternity. He packed up my bag, putting it on his back, and lifted me into his arms. After that, everything began to move so fast that I had to shut my eyes. My head fell against his chest and his heartbeat thumped in my ear. I could hear every breath he took and every quick, pounding step of his boots.

The running eventually came to a stop and I was placed into the front seat of a car. “Why’d you come searching for me?” I asked. I slapped him with all of the strength I could gather. “You’re just going to hit me again,” I went on. “I was better off without you.”

A few, light slaps came to one of my cheeks. “Emily.” My eyes opened. It wasn’t who I thought it was. It wasn’t my husband. It wasn’t that asshole who dared to lay a hand on me.

It was the man I truly loved. It was Rick.

He reached past me and handed me a canteen. I grabbed it as soon as I saw it and gulped mouthfuls of water down. “Easy now,” Rick said, lowering the canteen. He took it from me and wiped the water that dripped down my chin. “I have to take you back, okay? Everybody’s worried about you.” He waited for me to respond, but I just sat there, staring at him.

Before he threw my backpack into the backseat, the look on his face was full of disappointment. I felt like a scolded child despite the fact that he hadn’t been angry with me for anything.

Rick got into the driver’s seat and started the engine. The drive through the trees was slow and it took a while before we reached an actual road. That was when Rick asked me why I left.

I couldn’t answer his question. I stared at the dashboard in shame. “You came alone...” I said.

“Yeah, I did,” he said. “T-Dog wanted to come with me, but I insisted I go alone. I’ve been searching since last night.”

I looked at him. “Jason didn’t want to look for me?”

Rick pursed his lips and then sighed. “No.” His hand tightened around the steering wheel. “He said that you’d come back eventually and that no one needed to go looking.”

I asked him to tell me exactly what Jason said.

“‘She’s not a survivor. She’ll come running back. No need to go after her. She’s weak.’”

After I didn’t say anything, Rick said, “I gave him a piece of my mind after he said that.”

“What did you say to him?”

“I didn’t say anything at all.” He smirked at me. “I broke his nose.”

I’d almost forgotten what it was like to laugh at something until I was out of breath. Rick watched me contently while I expressed a side of myself that he hadn’t seen in a long time. When my laughter came to an end, I looked at him and was tempted to tell him to not take us back. But I couldn’t imagine myself being so selfish. I wasn’t the only person who needed him.

“Before we get back,” he said, “I need you to tell me what happened with Jason before you ran off.”

I hesitated before I began to speak, but once I did, I was able to explain everything clearly. The fact that Jason hit me had angered Rick, but once I had finally revealed to him that it wasn’t the first time, he brought the car to a sudden stop.

The look in his eyes frightened me. “When did he start abusing you?” he asked.

“A year into our marriage...” I whispered. I answered the question I saw coming. “We’ve been married for three years.”

The expression on his face changed drastically into an expression of sorrow. He parked the car and stepped out into the road, the headlights shining upon him. I followed him and said he didn’t need to worry about me.

“So, you came to me,” he said, taking my face in his hands. “You smiled so much around me and I never would have guessed that you were enduring so much pain.” He kissed my forehead. “I’m so sorry I never knew.”

“I didn’t expect you to know,” I said, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head against his heart. “I didn’t want you to know.”


“He’s gone,” Rick said, squeezing me tight.

“What?”

“In the morning, I’m sending Jason away... He’s never going to lay a hand on you again.”

I didn’t say anything and stood in his arms for another moment. When we returned to camp, everyone--except Jason and Shane--hounded me with questions about what I was thinking and if I was okay.

“I’m sorry about this, you guys. I’m okay,” I said. I glanced at Jason. “I’m not so weak after all.”
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I know this chapter isn't as interesting as the last. Sorry. D':

If any of you are confused as to where this fits into the TV show timeline--it doesn't. After the last chapter, day 72, (which takes place in season two - episode eight/nine), there is an entire week that is skipped on the show. For example, when Shane and Rick are driving Randall away to abandon him (episode ten), it's already day 80. You guys can read the TWD Television Timeline to see what I'm talking about.