Mercy

“Put that gun down, Merle,” Daryl spat at his older brother as he narrowed his eyes at the eldest Dixon. Mercy flinched; she was used to seeing weapons in the world that they now lived in, but seeing a gun in that close proximity still scared her half to death. Guns had always scared her, and she knew that there was a reason why most people that survived these days didn’t carry firearms.

“No, baby brother,” Merle shook his head. “You just don’t get it, baby brother, do you? She’s poison! Always has been, always will be! Ain't nothin’ ever good come outta that girl for you! And you’re just gonna keep pickin’ her over me, ain’t you?”

Merle’s sudden eruption shocked the hell out of Mercy, but even more so, it stunned Daryl. He hadn’t been expecting something like that out of his older brother, and especially not after risking his life for the two of them. For a few hours, it had made Mercy wonder whether or not she’d had Merle painted all wrong in her head.

But now? Well, now, she was just confused.

“You know she ain’t gonna make it, Daryl. She got fuckin’ bit! You know what happens!” Merle yelled again. This time, his words were less subtle as he pointed his gun straight at Mercy’s head. She closed her eyes, fully prepared for him to take the shot – and this time, not miss like he had before.

Instead of hearing a gunshot ring out before falling dead to the ground, her ears were only met with silence. When she opened her eyes, she found Daryl standing in front of her, knife pointed straight at Merle.

“I told ya,” Daryl’s voice was quiet. “She’s family. I ain’t never walked out on family, Merle, and I ain’t gonna start now.”

His voice was cold and Mercy could hear the underlying accusation in his words. Even she flinched when she saw the shock, and then the pain etch itself onto Merle’s worn features. The older Dixon seemed hurt by what Daryl had said, and that was something Mercy hadn’t been expecting. She’d thought nothing could hurt the eldest Dixon.

“You really gonna pick a walker over your own flesh and blood, baby brother?” Merle asked, his voice cracking just a little bit at the end. Mercy’s eyes brimmed over with unshed tears. Coming between the brothers was something she’d never wanted to do. In this world, family was all that really mattered when everything else was lost, and if you managed to get this far with family, you stuck by them.

This wasn’t something she could live with doing.

“No, he’s not,” Mercy finally spoke for Daryl when he didn’t say a word. She placed her hand on his elbow and smiled weakly. “Daryl, please. I’ll be fine. I…” She swallowed hard. “I’m not gonna make it long, and we both know it. It’s best if you just¬¬¬¬ learn to let go…”

Daryl shook his head, his own eyes shining with tears that hadn’t yet fallen. His knife stayed aimed at his older brother, his body positioned straight in front of Mercy as he stood guard over her even as she tried to stop him.

“No,” he growled out the word finally. “I ain’t walkin’ out on you, Mercy. I ain’t leavin’ and he ain’t gonna hurt you. I promised that I was gonna stand by you til the end and I meant it. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

Anyone else might have found his loyalty reassuring, but it only hurt Mercy more. They both knew that the end wasn’t going to be pleasant for her. The bite on her arm was beginning to hurt worse with each passing hour. No one had ever timed the transition from “living” to “walker,” but Mercy was willing to bet it couldn’t be more than a couple of days.

And it had already been twenty-four hours since she’d been bit. That didn’t give her long. Mercy went over all of her options in her mind before she closed her eyes, realizing that she only had one option left.

She finally opened her eyes and looked over Daryl’s shoulder at Merle. She nodded at the eldest Dixon and slowly backed up a few feet. She couldn’t hurt Daryl – god only knew it would kill her if she did, but she knew his older brother would have no problem inhibiting Daryl from following her as she made her escape.

The entire scene only took a few moments to unfold. As soon as she was far enough back from Daryl, Merle took his fist and punched his younger brother square in the jaw, knocking Daryl to the ground with the force of the blow.

Mercy didn’t stick around to see what else would happen. She took off at a dead sprint, running through the first door she saw without stopping. The outside was full of walkers, she knew, but it didn’t matter anymore. Soon enough, she knew her body would be one of them. Or at least, there was a high likelihood of it if she couldn’t find a way to kill herself before it all happened.

It was almost ironic to Mercy that, before now, she’d never considered suicide an option. Before now, she had always thought of it as a coward’s way out of a tough life. She’d always thought of it weakness and she’d never thought highly of people who chose to end their life by their own hand. But now?

Well, now she was in their shoes and it all made sense to her. Dying by her own hand would be infinitely better than being left to roam the world as a lifeless corpse. She had never wanted to become a walker – not like Daryl had become, and not like Annie had probably become.

No, that wasn’t what she wanted out of her afterlife. She wanted a peaceful end to her days, even if it had to be by suicide.

She didn’t have time to think about it now, though. She felt her breath hitch in her throat as she continued running away from the rundown house as fast as she could, knowing it wouldn’t take Daryl long. She had to be just as smart as he had always been now, if she didn’t want him to catch up to her.

The forest was her best option, she thought to herself as she ran towards the forest. Just a few days back, the forest had been nothing but certain death to her. And now, it was to be her sanctuary. She didn’t stop running as the trees grew closer and closer, the darkness becoming blacker with each step of her feet.

She didn’t know what waited for her out in those trees. She already knew that Ian and the others would have left after setting the walkers loose back at the house – there was no way they would have stuck around after the dead infested the area. Besides, they surely presumed that she and the Dixons wouldn’t make it out of the house in one piece. There was no reason for them to come back and make sure it was finished. The forest would be a good place for her to die, she thought to herself. It would be pleasant enough, even if it was lonely.

At least, she thought, she wouldn’t have the chance to hurt anyone else.