Redefine Me, Redesign Me

Ellie’s morning was not going according to plan. All she wanted out of today was to sleep in a good hour or two before getting started on sanding down the second bedframe. Somewhere in there Alex would show up with or without the dogs and she would craftily avoid certain questions that Alex would no doubt ask.

Of course, she only slept in half an hour before her phone rang. She was very close to just letting it ring until she caught a glimpse of the caller ID.

Mrs. Bells.

A low groan escaped the back of her throat as she sat up in bed to answer it.

Ellie hoped it was just a friendly check in but unfortunately it was about a shaggy haired young man that Mrs. Peterson had called her several times about. Apparently the complaints annoyed Mrs. Bells as much as they annoyed Ellie. Mrs. Bells suggested that Ellie move the spare key somewhere better and go ahead and go ahead and have a key made for Alex.

“If the boy is going to come and go as he pleases then he might as well have his own key”

Ellie didn’t really have any other choice but to agree so she did. After hanging up she pushed herself out of bed and went downstairs to move the stupid spare key. After stuffing the key in a crack under the porch steps she made her way back inside to get ready for the day, there is no way she was going to be able to go back to sleep.

She didn’t even make it to the stairs before her phone was ringing again. Ellie answered it without checking the caller ID first. Unfortunately it was her mom. Ellie was completely incapable of having a civil conversation with her mom, and today was no different.

Kathleen was trying to convince Ellie that it was time to move back to Sycamore. Well, that is, if saying that a moving crew had been hired to pack all of her things and have her back to Sycamore by Tuesday was really convincing. Ellie called it controlling and she wasn’t having it.

The conversation did not end well.

Ellie took a scalding hot shower to try and rid herself of the conversation all together but she was still seething when she was dressed in a slouchy t-shirt and a ratty pair of shorts. Ellie checked the time and found that it was nearing 8:30. She sighed figuring that Alex wouldn’t even be out of bed yet and set off towards the garage to furiously sand down the rest of that bedframe.

By the time Ellie heard the doorbell ring she was covered in microscopic wood shavings. She cursed herself for moving the key before Alex arrived as she pushed her safety glasses on top of her head and attempted to dust herself off. Seeing as the dust wasn’t budging and the doorbell was still ringing, Ellie gave up and added sweeping the house to her list of things to do as she made her way to the door.

Alex was much too impatient for his own good and was hardly letting the first ring of the chime finish before he was pressing the doorbell again and Ellie was growing more and more irritated by the second.

She yanked the door open startling Alex and glared at him. “Could you be any more annoying?” she demanded.

“You moved the key,” Alex responded pouting at her.

“My land lady called about Mrs. Peterson’s complaints, we have to go out later and get you a key,” Ellie grumbled the last part and didn’t miss how the corner of Alex’s lips twitched up in acknowledgement.

“Oh, right, Mrs. Peterson, I was supposed to apologize to her,” Alex smiled and snapped his fingers, clearly not apologetic at all that he had caused Ellie trouble.

Ellie leaned against the door frame and folded her arms across her chest.

Alex chuckled and leaned back on his heels taking in Ellie’s actions and rethinking his approach. “You said she was the lady that lived in the yellow house?” he asked looking to the right at the house in question.

Ellie quirked an eyebrow nodding, confused by his question.

Alex sent her a grin holding up one finger, “I’ll be right back,” he promised before turning around and heading down the steps.

Ellie watched as he crossed her front yard and into Mrs. Peterson’s before she realized what he was doing. Hopefully Mrs. Peterson wasn’t a cranky old lady, Ellie really didn’t know that much about her other than the fact that she was very nosey. Ellie stepped out onto the porch to get a better look finding Alex talking animatedly to a disgruntled looking Mrs. Peterson. Of course, Mrs. Peterson always looked disgruntled. She was a squatty woman who was constantly going out to get her mail in a floral house coat that nearly reached the ground, though it probably wasn’t supposed to.

For today’s appearance she was fully dressed though, her hair was half curled, Mr. Peterson just might be taking the old hag out for once. Ellie overheard Mrs. Peterson’s laughter before she realized that her facial expression was a smile, she’d actually never seen the woman in a decent mood before.

How was it that Alex could make this frumpy old disgruntled woman smile and laugh in earnest? It irritated Ellie in ways that even she didn’t understand, but it also put her slightly at ease; if she was tricked into liking him then it would only make sense for the most horrid of people to end up the same way. But what did that have to say about the way she saw herself? Ellie shook the thought off and waited for Alex to come back to the door after waving a farewell to a jubilant Mrs. Peterson.

“Mrs. Peterson thinks we’ll have a fantastic love story to tell your children and grandchildren,” Alex announced happily as he grabbed Ellie’s hand and pulled her back inside.

“You lied to my neighbor?” Ellie asked raising an eyebrow as she pulled her arm out of his grasp and lead the way to the garage.

Alex chuckled following behind her. “No,” he answered, “I didn’t lie I told her the truth and she seems to think that you’re in denial.”

Ellie decided not to acknowledge his statement instead choosing to roll her eyes before putting on her protective glasses, picking up a sanding block and getting to work.

“She also invited me to play bridge with her and the rest of the gals on Tuesday,” he informed her, his smile bigger than ever.

He was really not helping with her mood. She still wasn’t over the conversation she had with her mom and the sound of his voice was really starting to bother her. She only had the last leg of the footboard to get worked out before she was finished and he was just standing there laughing up his interactions with her elderly neighbor.

“The paint is there, paint brushes right next to it, if you wanted to get to work,” Ellie grumbled without looking up.

Alex cleared his throat and set out to get the paint opened and stirred, Ellie almost felt bad but she was just too damn annoyed to care. They worked in silence for a little over five minutes before Alex spoke up again.

“So what is it that’s bothering you?” Alex inquired giving Ellie a curious look. He’d noticed how on edge she had been since he’d gotten there. She didn’t even seem the slightest bit amused when he’d gone over to Mrs. Peterson’s earlier. She’d barely smiled at him. Had he really upset her that much when he joked about not apologizing?

Ellie shook her head without looking up. “Nothing,” she mumbled concentrating on evening out the wood in front of her. She didn’t need him to ask about her mom today.

“If it’s because of me, I apologize whole heartedly,” he insisted.

“It isn’t about you,” she grumbled tossing the sanding block into a crate full of odds and end, deciding that the bed frame looked good enough to her. “We should take a break,” she announced looking over to find that Alex had finished priming one side of the headboard.

She didn’t really wait for an answer, instead she went back inside without another word leaving Alex to catch up. Ellie was just trying to change the subject, maybe even distract Alex so he forgot all about her sour mood. Unfortunately, it would take a lot more than a change of location to deter Alex.

One glance at the concerned thoughtful look Alex was giving her and Ellie knew she needed to keep the distractions coming. “I’m hungry,” she told him, though she was actually far from hungry, “We should order a pizza or something.” It wasn’t like she actually kept food in her house.

Alex didn’t answer her, he was too busy trying to figure her out. Ellie didn’t really care though, she was already taking out her phone and opening up her Domino’s app and going through the day’s offers.

“Did something happen?” he asked, determined to get to the bottom of Ellie’s mood.

“How do you feel about mushrooms?” she countered, deflecting his question without looking up from her phone.

“Ellie,” he sighed knowing what she was trying to do. He just wanted her to talk to him.

“I’ll take that as a no,” she nodded, “How about black olives?”

Alex sighed again and reached over taking her phone from her hands. “Ellie, why can’t you just talk to me?” he asked, “What’s going on?”

Ellie kept her head down staring at the floor. She didn’t know why this was so hard for her to talk about, but it was and there wasn’t much that she could do to change that. She didn’t want to tell Alex about her life back home, or her relationships with the people there. She came here to be someone else; why couldn’t he just let her be that someone?

“Nothing,” she lied shrugging and turning on her heel to go walk around the breakfast bar. Maybe if she put some space between them he wouldn’t pick up on her every thought so easily.

“Is everything okay?” he questioned leaning against the breakfast bar, eyes trained on Ellie’s every move.

Ellie flattened her hands out against the cold granite counter top in front of her. She turned the corners of her mouth up in a false smile. “Things are great,” she quipped looking up to meet his eyes.

“Don’t lie to me,” he pleaded, eyebrows pulling together.

Her smile faltered, her lips falling into a straight line as she stared Alex down. “I am fine,” she stated.

“I know you’re not,” he challenged searching her eyes.

Something in Ellie snapped and she didn’t even try to control what came out of her mouth.

“Why do you care?” she demanded her tone suddenly acidic. “What would you do if I told you what was wrong? Do you honestly believe that you would know how to handle it? You don’t know me. You don’t know what makes me feel better. How would you possibly go about comforting me? How does one tell another that everything will be okay when their mother calls them and tells them that if they don’t come home now that they don’t have a home? My own mother doesn’t want me!” she shouted, “Why the hell would you want me?” she scoffed at the very notion.

“Ellie,” Alex tried to gain her attention, concern written across his features, “I just want to help.”

“You are doing a piss poor job of it,” she fumed, “I came here to get away from her to get away from Sycamore and every day the only thing you want to talk about is my past when that is the very thing I am trying to get away from. So tell me Alex how are you helping?” she demanded.

Alex opened his mouth to try to calm her down but Ellie was much too caught up in her own rant to let him get a word in edge wise.

“You aren’t, Alex. You are making everything worse. We both know that you will give up on me because I am not the kind of friend you want or need in your life. I don’t know how to be a friend to anyone. So why don’t you do us both a favor and leave.”

“Just calm down and let’s talk about it,” he offered eyes full of hope that she would take the offer.

Ellie’s features hardened her eyes darkening. “Allow me to rephrase: Get. Out.”

Alex frowned shaking his head with sad eyes. He stood there for a moment as if he were trying to decide something. His lips pressed into a thin line and he gave Ellie a cold look before walking to the door. He jerked the front door open before stomping out and slamming it shut behind him.

Ellie glared after him waiting to hear his engine turn on. Good riddance, she thought.

She didn’t need him. She was much better off finding someone new. Someone who only wanted to know who she wanted to be and not who she was. No, she did not need Alex in her life.