Redefine Me, Redesign Me

Just keep breathing, Ellie told herself as she smoothed out her sweater with shaking hands. They are just people, she reminded herself. If they raised a guy like Alex they can’t be all bad, right?

Alex’s low chuckled startled her making her jump and let out a squeak.

“You look like you’re going to be sick,” Alex teased reaching over the center console of his car and taking Ellie’s hand.

Ellie let out a sigh. “I feel anxious,” she admitted leaning her head back to lay fully on the head rest. She closed her eyes and focused on Alex’s warm hand around hers.

“It’s just dinner,” he pointed out making Ellie want to reach over and pinch him but she restrained herself.

Ellie didn’t say anything. She just sat there with her eyes closed as the tires of Alex’s car brought them closer to their destination. She tried to remember how to be pleasant. She knew how to make a good impression she was sure of it… she just couldn’t remember.

Alex hummed along to the radio distracting Ellie from her thoughts. He was making his own melody weaving in and out of the tune on the radio and it was beautiful. She tried to memorize it but it was too intricate for her to pick up, so she just listened intently.

When the car pulled to a stop Ellie’s heart dropped, they were at Alex’s parents’ house and this could make or break them, she was sure of it.

Alex got out of the car first and Ellie couldn’t bring herself to get out and follow him. That didn’t seem to bother Alex or maybe he just didn’t notice, he simply went around to her side of the vehicle and opened her door for her.

Ellie stepped out of the car and took Alex’s hand whether he liked it or not. She needed some kind of support here. She chewed on her lip as Alex lead her up the front steps and in through the front door.

“Mom?” Alex called out into the house, “Dad? We’re here!”

“In the Kitchen!” a kind sounding female voice called back. Ellie could have imagined it but she could have sworn the voice held a British accent.

Alex sent Ellie a reassuring smile as he took her jacket from her before leading her towards where the voice had carried from.

Alex went ahead of Ellie into the kitchen stopping to kiss his mother’s cheek, or well Ellie assumed that was his mother. She couldn’t really say that she could see any resemblance seeing as Alex’s hair was much lighter than her dark brown hair.

“Your dad should be back shortly he went to the store,” the woman told Alex.

Ellie hadn’t been mistaken before. Alex’s mom did have a British accent.

Just then Alex’s mom looked over to Ellie and smiled widely. Ellie felt like a deer caught in headlights as she looked to Alex only to find him smiling at her in almost the same way. What was she supposed to do? Say hello? Introduce herself? Ellie nearly embarrassed herself by waving but suppressed the urge and settled for smiling back at them in what she hoped was a kind way.

“Mom this is Ellie,” Alex said without looking away from Ellie.

And in an instant Alex’s mom was shaking with excitement. She moved around the counter towards Ellie with her arms wide open.

“Oh Ellie,” She called as she engulfed her in a hug, “I’ve heard so much about you!”

And just like that all the awkwardness and doubt that Ellie felt was gone. She hugged Alex’s mom back accepting the warm gesture happily.

“Alex told me you were pretty, but he didn’t do you justice,” She gushed letting go of Ellie still smiling.

Ellie felt the heat of a blush color her cheeks.

“Mom,” Alex whined as he grabbed something from a dish that was being prepared.

She sent Alex a motherly smile.

“It’s really nice to meet you, Mrs. Gaskarth,” Ellie said feeling uncertain of what to call her.

“It’s wonderful to meet you too sweetheart,” She replied smiling even more widely if that were possible, “and please call me Isobel.”

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Ellie laughed as Isobel and Alex’s dad, Peter, told her story after story about Alex’s childhood. Alex would let out a groan when the most embarrassing parts were coming up and Ellie would giggle as he blushed. She’d never really seen this side of Alex, it was sort of cute and innocent which isn’t really how she thought of him most of the time.

Ellie couldn’t get over how accepted she felt here. She’d never really been liked by any of the parents she had ever met in the past. Hunter’s mom thought as much of Ellie as her own mom had, which isn’t much. Casey and Brady’s parents didn’t really like her, though they weren’t really around enough to know what she was like to begin with.
But here, Ellie felt liked. Alex’s parents smiled sincerely, there was no undertone telling her to leave as soon as possible.

Alex and Peter excused themselves to clean up from dinner leaving Ellie to go to the living room with Isobel. Ellie started to worry again, afraid that when she and Isobel were alone that she would tell Ellie how she really felt about her… and it wouldn’t be good.

“Ellie dear,” Isobel began softly giving her a look that made her stomach drop, “Alex brought to my attention that you have a little bit of an aversion to relationships.”

Ellie cleared her throat, here it goes. “It isn’t exactly like that,” Ellie tired.

“I just wanted to reassure you that Alex cares a lot about you and that you don’t have anything to worry about with him,” Isobel explained.

Ellie was caught off guard to say the least. Isobel was trying to convince her to date Alex… Ellie couldn’t really say that she’d ever had a mom like her enough for that one. Ellie had been worried this whole time that Isobel was questioning Ellie’s intentions when in reality she was trying to convince her that Alex was worth a shot.

Ellie smiled, “I don’t doubt Alex, I have issues of my own that are preventing me from moving forward,” she explained.

Isobel looked confused but didn’t really have time to ask before Alex and Peter were walking back into the room and Alex took it upon himself to explain for Ellie.

“Ellie doesn’t want to date me because she is working on herself and can’t really do that and put forth effort into a relationship too,” Alex said taking Ellie’s hand again.

It all sound a little silly coming from Alex but it was how Ellie felt.

Ellie was afraid that Isobel and Peter wouldn’t understand, which she couldn’t blame them for because they hardly knew anything about her. But they accepted it without any further question. Isobel just seemed to be happy that Alex wasn’t the problem. It didn’t stop either of them from acting so pleasantly towards Ellie which was a relief. In fact, Isobel insisted that Ellie come back with Alex when the tour was over.

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After dinner they went to Alex’s house, he had a lot to get done before leaving for tour so it only made since that he would need to be home. He had insisted that Ellie stay with him and after dinner going as well as it had Ellie didn’t mind the idea at all.

“They liked me, right?” Ellie asked worried that they were pretending to be nice. While at dinner she had felt so sure that they liked her but now she couldn’t convince herself fully. She leaned against his kitchen counter while he fed Sebastian and Payton.

Alex grinned at Ellie straightening himself. He stood in front of her putting his hands on her hips. Ellie would have pushed him away but she was too occupied waiting for his answer.

“Of course they liked you,” he told her kissing her cheek tenderly, “How could they not?”

Ellie wasn’t sure what it was about her that deterred the parents of her friends and one actual boyfriend but it was true that they all disliked her for whatever reason. However, it seemed like most of the other parents liked her so long as she didn’t associate herself too closely with their kids.

“Parents don’t usually take very kindly to me,” She told him shrugging, “But yours seemed so genuinely nice.” She smiled remembering the acceptance she had felt there even while talking to Alex’s mom about their non-relationship.

“Well good,” he said pecking her lips, “let’s go to bed I have to take you to work in the morning.”

Ellie nodded agreeing and deciding to not scold him for kissing her. She didn’t want to ruin the completely blissful feeling the evening had given her.

Alex led her up to his room and let her change while he waited in the bathroom. When he returned Ellie was already curled up under the blankets with Payton and Sebastian cuddling themselves around her.

Alex couldn’t stop his smile from growing wide at the sight. Ellie’s eyes were closed and she looked tired and content. Her sleepy eyes opened and looked up to him making a smile spread its way across her lips mirroring his.

“Are you going to stand there staring at me, or are you coming to bed?” She asked letting her eyes slip closed again without waiting for his response.

Alex chuckled climbing into bed making Payton readjust his position so he was laying at Alex’s feet instead. Ellie let out a squeak as Alex wrapped an arm around her middle and pulled her across the bed and into his chest.

“Goodnight,” Alex sighed after reaching over and switching off the lamp on his bedside table.

Ellie let out a gargled noise in response and Alex’s smile widened as he buried his nose into her neck. She made him so unbelievably happy and he couldn’t even bring himself to sleep when she did things like this. When she was too tired to talk but still tried anyway.

And he knew that he was changing her mind. That eventually he would be taking her on dates every chance he got and she would be happy to go with him. He knew that she could be ready now. She should be ready now. After all she had met his parents and seemed pretty pleased by the experience.

She was ready. Wasn’t she?