Redefine Me, Redesign Me

Ellie didn’t want to move. She didn’t want to ruin how good she felt. Waking up was always the hard part. She always worried that it would be awkward. That she would shift in the bed and Alex would wake up and there would be some kind of stiffness. There hadn’t been any awkwardness yet, if anything the little bit that they experienced before had completely melted away. Alex hadn’t left and it had been two days since she’d opened up to him. Things were great but she always erred on the side of caution… or paranoia it depended on what perspective you took on the situation.

Ellie didn’t have to make the decision to move or make a noise before Alex was letting out a low groan and pulling Ellie across the mattress and pressing her back against his chest.

“You could give someone a heart attack doing things like that,” Ellie mumbles voice still raw with sleep.

Alex chuckled nuzzling into the back of her neck and pecking a soft kiss just under her hairline. He doesn’t say anything just lets his fingers dance along the back of her hand and up her arm making a circuit as he traveled back down again.

“Obviously the possibility of me having a heart attack doesn’t faze you,” she teased rolling her eyes at his lack of response.

Alex scoffs and Ellie shifts so she’s laying on her back and can actually look at his face. She can still see the sleep in his eyes but he looks well rested for the most part. He looks like he’s about to protest to her movement but gives her a half smile propping himself up on his elbow and reaches up to move her hair away from her face instead.

“You’re chatty this morning,” Ellie teases letting him continue to run his fingers through her hair even after it was clearly out of her face.

Alex’s brow furrows and he looks from her face to watch his hands work through her hair. Ellie rolls her eyes but doesn’t mind a good opportunity to stare at Alex and take in the little details she still hadn’t really gotten the chance to take in before. After all, she’d never really been this close to Alex and still had the ability to just look.

His hair, Ellie decided that she really liked his hair. His hair and that silly little skull and cross bones tattoo behind his ear. She always wondered if it hurt she’d never had the guts to get a tattoo anywhere near her neck, the idea terrified her despite her relative ease when getting her tattoos. She was trying to decide if she liked or disliked his stubble when she noticed his eyes were on her again.

She felt the heat as her cheeks flushed pink, embarrassed for getting caught staring at him.

“I’ve been thinking,” Alex says his eyes going back to follow his hand in her hair and mercifully not teasing her for staring, “and feel free to shoot me down.”

Ellie stayed quiet and waited for what he was wanting to say to come out.

Alex licked his lips and his whole face read nervousness which would have set her on edge if he wasn’t soothingly running his fingers from her scalp all the way down to the sleep-knotted ends.

“If you aren’t ready, I understand,” Alex tells her quietly glancing from his hand to meet her eyes for only a second to make sure she was listening before looking away continuing, “but I’d really like to take you out on an honest to god date.”

Ellie doesn’t say anything she just closes her eyes. She’s surprisingly happy that he thought to ask, that he made it easy on her, letting her know he’s okay with her turning him down this time. Avoiding a big blow out like last time would be good. She wonders for a moment what he even meant by ‘an honest to god date’.

Alex takes her silence as a reason to push on.

“I’m not trying to push you or anything,” he promises, “But I just wanted to ask. I get it. I know you are still iffy about relationships and I’m not going anywhere, even if you tell me no again.”

Alex was taking a breath like he was readying himself to launch into a ramble of apologies and possibly try to persuade Ellie to consider the offer seriously.

“What did you have in mind?” she asks cutting him off before he can even get started.

She’s chewing on her bottom lip and he’s staring down at her with wide eyes like she’s just caught him off guard entirely. His look of shock slowly turns into a grin as he realizes what this could possibly mean.

He nods ducking his head and letting out a breathy chuckle before returning back to her gaze.

“I was thinking something old school, maybe dinner and a movie?” he tries looking like he’s uncertain, now that the idea had left his mouth.

“It’s simple,” Ellie nods agreeing, “Very high school,” she adds teasing.

“Are you going to just mock me or actually tell me if you want to go or not?” Alex asks rolling his eyes at her.

“Oh god,” Ellie gasps out mockingly gripping two handfuls of the front of Alex’s shirt, “When you say it like that how could I refuse?”

She laughs and Alex sighs taking his hand from her hair and pressing it to the side of her face grinning down at her.

“If I wasn’t so teenage-girl-levels of excited right now I would complain about how mean you are,” Alex informs her.

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“Ohmygod!” Lisa blurts loudly in an excited rush.

Ellie’s eyes go wide and dart around the room trying to be sure that Lisa hadn’t attracted the attention of the entire room, they were still at work for Christ’s sake. If she had known Lisa would react so loudly she would have waited until they were at lunch to ask her for outfit input for her date with Alex on Friday.

Oh God.

Her. Date. With. Alex.

Yeah, the entire concept was still hard to grasp even after having a full twenty four hours to sit on the idea. To mull it over and get used to the way the words all sounded in the same sentence. Particularly the words date and Alex. She was still getting used to those two being paired but throwing in the fact that it was her date still threw her for a loop.

“Are you trying to get us both in trouble?” Ellie hissed at her while sending their supervisor an innocent looking smile.

Lisa’s smile was huge as she bounced or shook really in her seat letting out a high pitched but somehow quiet squeal.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” Lisa demanded eyes wide.

Ellie could already see the multitudes of ridiculous outfits that Lisa was coming up with dance behind her eyes.

“I’m not wearing anything short or showy,” Ellie declared ignoring Lisa’s question.

Lisa scoffed and rolled her eyes before asking another question, “When did he ask you? Or did you ask him?”

She leaned forward propping an elbow on the arm of her chair and resting her chin in her hand waiting eagerly to hang on every word Ellie said.

“It was yesterday and he asked me would you stick to the point?” Ellie demanded, “Jeans are acceptable, yeah?”

Lisa groaned and threw her head back like she was both put off by the lack of details Ellie was giving her and the fact that Ellie was refusing to be adventurous in her clothing choices.

“It’s dinner and a movie, Lisa,” Ellie pointed out, “I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to go crazy here.”

Lisa’s head popped back up with a grin spread across her lips. The whole thing came off very exorcist-esc but Ellie decided now wasn’t the time to bring that up.

“Please let me make you up like I did for the party,” Lisa begged. She even stuck her bottom lip out and clasped her hands together in a desperate prayer.

Ellie rolled her eyes, of course Lisa would take this as an invitation to use Ellie as her own Barbie.

“You think throwing off the danger vibe is a good idea?” Ellie asked giving Lisa an apprehensive look.

“As much as I’m sure Alex would love that I was actually referring to having free reign over your closet,” Lisa replied grinning.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Ellie asked narrowing her eyes at Lisa’s Alex comment.

Lisa shrugged and her face was a mask of innocence, “I’ll explain another time but for now just agree to let me have control over your outfit,” she demanded.

“You can only use what is in my closet, you don’t get to add things,” Ellie bargained.

Lisa huffed but held out her had for Ellie to shake on it.

Ellie had a feeling that Lisa was thinking up loopholes but decided not to worry about it, she wouldn’t go that crazy would she?

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“You snuck that in there,” Ellie accused narrowing her eyes at the very sparkly black dress that Lisa was holding out.

Lisa’s bottom lip jutted out into a pout, “You would look so good in this,” she whined.

Ellie fiddled with the belt on her robe shaking her head at the dress.

“It’s too cold for a dress, Lisa,” She complained, “Alex is going to be here in an hour and while if I was in charge I would be fine, I know that you are going to need every second so stop fooling around and pick something that won’t make me go hypothermic before we get to the restaurant.”

Lisa gave her a long hard look eyes flickering to her fidgeting hands before sighing and going back into the closet.

“You know,” Lisa called over her shoulder as she hunted through Ellie’s things, “you don’t have anything to worry about for tonight.”

Ellie shifted her weight back and forth between her feet not wanting to admit that she was nervous and not wanting to lie about it either.

Lisa pursed her lips at the silence before picking up a couple of shirts.

“He definitely wants to be with you,” Lisa pointed out as she eyed a couple of jackets trying to decide which one would go best with the varying shades of blue and pink she had in the four shirts she was holding.

“He thinks he wants to be with me,” Ellie corrected toeing the floor.

Lisa scoffed rolling her eyes as she gave up on choosing a jacket until Ellie had agreed on a shirt.

“Alex is fighting for you, and has been since he met you,” Lisa told her honestly as she came back into the room, “whether you want to believe it or not.”

Ellie sighed because she knew she’d lose the fight anyway, she might as well quit while she was ahead.

“Now which shirt are you liking?” she asked holding out the four shirts.

Ellie wasn’t huge on wearing a lot of color, she usually stuck to greys and whites they were easier to accessorize with.

The two blue shirts looked too much like regular tee-shirts to be acceptable for date in Lisa’s opinion and she was really only holding them to appease Ellie. The other two were pink one a bright hot pink tank top with a certain rock star vibe that Ellie seemed to gravitate towards and the other a pale rose pink sheer button up with light ruffles it was a lot more feminine than anything Lisa had seen Ellie wear but she figured it was worth a shot.

Ellie eyed the pale pink shirt curiously, she definitely remember ever buying that, but it was pretty. She continued looking between the four shirts but kept gravitating back to the pale pink.

“Did you sneak that one in there too?” Ellie asked gesturing to the pale pink shirt.

Lisa grinned looking down at the shirt and shook her head, “Surprisingly this is one of your own,” she promised.

Ellie nodded and took it from Lisa’s hands putting it up to herself trying to determine if she liked the way it would look.

“Those comfy knee high boots you like so much would go really well with that,” Lisa commented offhandedly.

Ellie knew she was trying to bribe her and it was definitely working, she would do anything to be able to wear comfy shoes.

“Done,” Ellie said taking the shirt off its hanger and grabbing a white cami out of her dresser.

Lisa grinned and quickly put back the other three shirts grabbed a pair of light washed skinny jeans, a light brown leather jacket, and the boots she had promised.

Ellie dressed quickly as Lisa went to work searching for just the right combination of eye shadow.

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Ellie had shooed Lisa out the door and had just sat down to pull on her boots when Alex came in grinning widely.

Ellie couldn’t have held back her own grin if she had wanted to.

“I wasn’t sure if I should knock,” he told her shrugging and scratching the back of his neck.

Ellie rolled her eyes, “Alex when have you ever knocked?” she asked standing up.

He rocked back on his heels and bit his bottom lip, “there was that one time you moved the key,” he recalled as Ellie stepped in front of him.

Ellie smiled up at him still unable to believe that she was actually going on a date with him. She was really hoping that this date wouldn’t end in with an ‘I told you so’ in place of a goodnight kiss.

“You look nice,” Alex commented reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear.

Ellie smiled widely, “I cheated and let Lisa dress me,” she joked.

Alex chuckled, “Something tells me that she would have done that even if you hadn’t let her.”
Ellie laughed lightly agreeing.

“You ready to go?” he asked nodding his head towards the front door.

Ellie nodded and grabbed her jacket shoving her arms through the sleeves. Alex took her hand opening the front door for her before leading her to his car.

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“If I had known you were going to swoon over Chris Hemsworth the whole time I probably would have picked a different movie,” Alex teased as they made their way back to his car after the movie.

Dinner had been uneventful in a good way, she managed to only nearly spill food on herself and conversation had been easy like it always was.

“I was not swooning,” Ellie argued chuckling at him and slipping her hand in his.

She didn’t miss the twitch of his lips in response.

“Oh please and don’t even get me started on Tom Hiddleston,” he continued, “You were completely wrapped up in that fight scene.”

“It was intense,” Ellie deadpanned, “Loki could have died.”

Alex rolled his eyes and bumped her hip with his playfully.

“It isn’t my fault that they are attractive,” she justified.

“That is a terrible excuse,” he complained.

“We’ll go see a movie with pretty ladies next time,” Ellie promised as they reached Alex’s car.

“So you’re saying there will be a next time?” Alex asked as Ellie leaned back against the passenger side door.

She shrugged biting her bottom lip, “I mean it’s not like I can get rid of you now,” she explained rolling her eyes.

Alex took a step forward the toes of his shoes scuffing against Ellie’s boots.

“You’re sarcasm is no more endearing now than it was when you were using it to push me away,” he told her quietly.

“Something tells me you don’t mean that,” Ellie teased as Alex’s hands gripped her hips.

Ellie was just about to laugh at his lack of a comeback but was caught off guard by his lips crashing down on hers. It wasn’t like their kisses in the past. It was gentle and slow, there was no undertone of desperation or fear and it was nice.

Alex was the first to break the kiss pulling back to smile down at her.

“You know,” Ellie said poking a finger into his chest, “I did have a no kissing on the first date policy but you’ve blown that right of the water.”

Alex laughed and took a step back pulling her with him as he clutched her to his chest, hugging her tightly.

“I apologize whole heartedly,” he told her before opening the car door for her.

Ellie let go of him and started to climb into the car, “I’m not saying I’m complaining,” she joked shooting him a grin.

Alex bit his bottom lip staring at her before shaking his head and closing the door for her and going around to his side.

He could not believe that this night was real.