Redefine Me, Redesign Me

Ellie could barely remember the night before without the pounding in her head coming back full force. Moving wasn’t really an option either. The blood red glow of the morning, or potentially midday, light from behind her eyelids was enough for her to know that opening her eyes would result in a headache worse than the dull throb radiating from her temples.

It seems that hangovers were a thing and, until this point, she simply had never drank enough to get to that point. If only her friends back in Sycamore could see her now!

Someone on the bed shifted and groaned loudly causing someone else to bemoan their aching head.

If Ellie had to guess she would assume that it the first was Jack and the later was Lisa.

Lisa continued to mumble about her head ache and Jack joined in detailing his various bodily aches.

“Shut. Up.” Alex demanded sharply… or as sharply as a sleep gravelly voice muffled by Ellie’s hair could be.

“Why the fuck are we all in my bed?” Jack’s confused voice drawled slowly, as if he had just then come to the realization that the situation they had found themselves in wasn’t quite right.

“You’re place was closer to the bar and the couch wasn’t comfy,” Alex stated matter-of-factly sounding much less irritated than moments before.

“Like this is any better,” Lisa scoffed attempting to detangle herself from the sheets and bodies.

Ellie opened one eye peeking to test out the brightness of the room, just in time to catch Lisa rolling over Jack in her struggle to free her foot from the blankets and roll right off the side of the bed.

They all burst into laughter only to moan at the pain the exertion caused.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Lisa groaned from the floor.

“I’m starving,” Jack commented off handedly.

Lisa scoffed while Alex hummed his agreement snuffling into the pillow attempting to wake himself up.

It was only a moment or two before Alex was pulling on Ellie’s arm.

“Leave me here to die,” Ellie mumbled dramatically clinging to a pillow with her free arm.

“Don’t be such a drama queen, Ellie,” Jack complained yanking the pillow away from her, “It’s just a hangover.”

Ellie’s head dropped to the mattress and into the crook of her elbow, she peeked over her arm to glare up accusingly at Jack who stood grinning down at her on the bed.

“Food will definitely make you feel better,” Lisa quipped from wear she was still sitting on the floor.

“Come on Ellie!” Alex whined still pulling on her other arm, “I need food!”

“I regret ever meeting the three of you,” she grumbled letting Alex pull her off the bed.

Alex sighed happily as he stuffed his feet into his shoes, “Last night was definitely one of the best birthday’s ever.”

Ellie couldn’t help but preen a little at his words, after all it was her idea to surprise Alex with a night of bar crawling/club hopping with a massive group of Alex’s friends. Lisa’s help was detrimental in making the idea a reality but still, it was her idea.

-------------------------

Ellie wrinkled her nose as they walked down the street from Jack’s apartment toward some diner that had breakfast foods that Jack swore by.

“I smell really bad,” she complained pulling at her clothes and wishing that she had thought the entire night through, maybe stashed some clean clothes at Jack’s.

Alex pulled on her wrist bringing her closer so he could stick his face in her neck and inhale deeply. “Nope,” he exhaled shaking his head, “You smell like cinnamon.”

Lisa giggled at Ellie’s disgruntled look.

“I think you are referring to the shot of fireball whiskey that someone,” she stopped long enough to swing her leg up and kick Jack in the back of the knee as he walked ahead of them, “dumped in my hair.”

Jack stumbled and laughed, “I didn’t mean to, dancing and carrying a shot at the same time shouldn’t be so hard,” he frowned.

“It wouldn’t have been if it wasn’t the third club we’d been to and the tenth shot you’d had,” Lisa pointed out pulling her hair away from her face and neck making a face, “I feel gross.”

“We should have taken showers,” Ellie commented rubbing a hand down her other arm.

“Girls are so weird,” Alex mumbled jogging two steps to walk next to Jack bumping shoulders with him for his agreement and leaving the girls to trail after them.

“Since when is it weird to like being clean?” Lisa asked sending the back of Alex’s head the stink eye.

Ellie laughed and sighed shaking her head. It hit her then just how much her life had changed since meeting Lisa. Since meeting Alex. If her BL (Before Lisa) self could see her now, just five months down the road. See her walking down the street feeling sticky with spilled drinks and strangers’ sweat on her skin, in clothes from the previous night having slept in a dog pile of people, hung over. What would she have said? It probably wouldn’t have been nice, she was so bitter then.

And it was with that thought that she realized how different she felt, and what that difference really meant. She was happy. The feeling resonated in her chest leaving her smiling goofily as she and Lisa bumped against each other, neither of them walking in a straight line, both of them feeling slightly off kilter for different reasons. Their shoulders bumped together their fingernails going rouge and leaving accidental scratches on the backs of both of their hands. They just laughed quietly like it was some sort of inside joke that neither of the boys would understand. Which only left her with another realization; Lisa was quite possibly her best friend. Probably the best friend she’d ever had.

“Maybe I’m still drunk,” Ellie said sighing rubbing a slightly sticky hand down her face realizing too late that she still had last night’s make up on, probably smearing it in the process.

“Why do you think you’re still drunk?” Lisa asked laughing lightly.

Ellie’s eyebrows pulled together, “I’m just feeling really sentimental right now, which is why I’m telling you that I’m really glad I met you. You’ve really helped me become a better person, someone who isn’t set on being alone. I’m glad you burrowed your way in.”

Ellie huffed angry at her own emotions for making her say things that she didn’t want to say. Not because she didn’t mean them, but they left her feeling vulnerable.

Lisa smiled so widely it met her eyes, she threw an arm out wrapping it around Ellie’s waist pulling her into her side so quickly that it left Ellie having to wrap an arm around Lisa in return to catch herself. The hug was a sloppy one armed thing that left them stumbling as they tried to keep walking through it.

A beat later as they are laughing and she catches a glimpse of Lisa’s happy emotional face that the confession was probably the most honest thing Ellie had said to her in their five months of friendship.

“Elle, you can’t just spring emotional confessions on people,” Alex teased turning to look back at them over his shoulder, “You’re going to give everyone whiplash opening up like that.”

Ellie stuck her tongue out at him, “You’ll just have to get used to it,” she retorted making Lisa laugh more.

Alex’s answering smile was different than most of his other smiles. It wasn’t his teasing smirk or the fond smile he often sent her way, it was small and felt private like maybe he heard something in her words that the others didn’t.

Ellie liked that. She liked that he knew what she meant. Liked that they could communicate in a private way while they were still surrounded by friends.

Mostly she just liked that they both knew that she planned to work on opening up more, stop closing herself off so much.

Maybe it would be enough to keep him around if Christmas proved to be as rough as she thinks it might be.