The Secret World Of a Not So Normal Teenager

Hello, my story is just like any other I’m just a normal teenager with normal problems I’m in high school a hell hole at most but luckily its half way over but at home I hate it most my parents are huge on god and the lord they always pray for me and that is all they do but I still love my parents. They mean well my name is Baze and I’m 16 years old I have black long hair brushed to the side I’m in 10th grade and I go to Harvey high school that place is the average high school but I don’t ever fit in, I’m the one that always gets bullied I try to deal but it can be hard. I’ve been having thoughts that I can’t have, and for my parents it’s shameful and god hates it but ever since 9th grade I can’t stop staring at guys but I know im not…… never mind. Three weeks ago is when my life started to fall apart but not all of it this here is my story………..the alarm rang the piercing noise woke up my body I rose up sleepily I yawned and stretched my body I stood up ran my fingers through my hair and went to my dresser pulled out a sting tee shirt a flannel and black jeans. I took off my pants and jumped in the shower a few minutes went by and my shower was over I put on my clothes and brushed my wet hair to a flip I placed my oversize glasses on then I walked downstairs my parents were praying at the table I tried to sneak past them but my mom said

“dear come pray to the lord”

I sighed softly and sat at the table I prayed with my parents I stood up grabbed my book bag my mom said

“let the lord guide you dear”

I said goodbye and left I walked to school the air was cool cars flew passed me on the side walk. The school was located 4 blocks from my house; I live in the city but not by all of the stores and stuff like that. Kind of in a neighborhood. I jumped the neighbor’s fence to avoid the bullies. I know it’s kind of a cliché but it’s true. The football team beats me up well only the select few. The main man is Greg, he is the team captain and he is also the biggest guy on the team he had blonde hair in he had deep facial features and he is also a jerk off. The other guy is Tim, he is the right hand man and he joins in on the “fun” and the others I don’t know their names but they do the usual punch and kick and the name calling. Well back to the story I walked through the neighbor’s yard and around the back. I was soon at the school but they were there waiting for me I knew that I had to face them I walked up to them and Greg saw and smiled deceivingly he said

“hey fag!”

“hey” he looked at me angrily by my smart remark

“you shouldn’t be here the all-boys school is next door”

I started walking away but he grabbed me and threw me against the wall I fell he kicked me and laughed while he was doing it.it felt like someone was taking my air form my body I gasped they laughed and walked away. I stood up holding my stomach. I limped it the school the bell rang and I made my way to gym class I walked in the locker room and I went to my locker I sat and gazed at the floor and got dressed I stood up and stretched the jocks got dressed next to me and It took all of my will not to look at them and my brain snapped out of it I looked into my open locker and walked into the large gymnasium my stomach got sick I ran to the garbage and puked my body jerked I shook and the gym teacher said “would you like to go home or sit out on today’s class?” I said

“I’ll sit out”

he nodded I didn’t want to go home with the lord worshipers so I sat on the bleachers the gym teacher said

“we are going to play basketball, shirt versus skins today."

he picked the teams and they took off of their shirts my body shifted on the bleachers my eyes went right towards john Campbell he is a jock that has somewhat short black hair and blue eyes. He ran across the gym scoring point after point he was panting he stood watching intensely at the ball then his eyes shifted to me on the bleachers he watched me. I really could not believe he was staring at me. I had no idea what he was doing looking at me. he Just watched me I could not tell if he was watching me stare at him like a creeper or if he was watching me I looked at his body scoped up and down him I don’t know if he knew that or not the coach broke his trance as he yelled

“hey Campbell get your head in the game!”

he turned his head and continued playing at the end of class I walked to the locker room and put my clothes on john walked into the section of lockers where I was which he never does he said

“hey guys I can bench press twice as much as I used to”.

he looked at me directly and right there I knew I wanted him I turned my eyes away even though my brain wanted to see him I ran my fingers through my hair terrified and scared of the thoughts in my head lately I didn’t know myself anymore I didn’t even want to think that I was……. I couldn’t even think the word without fear throughout my body I felt a hand lightly touch my shoulder I jumped and john was standing there he said “hey” his chest inches from my face I said nervously

“hey”.

He walked away I sighed hard and got dressed the one thing I wondered why he was talking to me he has not looked twice at me before I just wondered what was going on in his head.