The Secret World Of a Not So Normal Teenager

I was happy to have him as a partner I wanted to get close to him more than anything in the world. But I wanted him to leave me alone at the same time the next day came by and I went for the first half of the day the bell for lunch rang. I sat at the empty lunch table Devon sat next to me and I unwrapped my sandwich and took a bight I looked at the floor and I heard a voice above me say

“hello”

I looked up and it was Kasey Jones. She is a very popular girl and she was pretty she had short blonde hair her eyes were an aqua blue her skin was creamy white and soft she had light freckles on her cheek bones she said

“its Baze right?”

I said

“yes, how can I be of service?”

she giggled and she sat down across from me and said

“hey, I have been watching you for a long time and you seem mysterious and I would like to go on a date with you”

I said

“wait, with me?”

She nodded and I said

“sure”

she laughed and she said

“ok is Friday at 7 good?”

I nodded and she left I smiled but it was because to end my confusion. And that was the best feeling to have.

“Wow, I never expected that”

Devon said. He let out a chuckle

“shut up”

I smiled at him I gazed back at her she smiled and was talking to her friend I smiled back. I finished my sandwich and left the café. My phone rang and I opened it up and there was a text from john

“Hello”

said the text and for the rest of the day we texted back and forth. And the whole conversation was just about each other and what was going on and how we were feeling but we didn’t talk about our relationship at all and it bothered me a little. I walked to the courtyard and someone pulled me in the ally way it was john he said

“hey I heard Kasey asked you out”

I said

“yup she did”

he said

“well did you say yes?”

he had agitation in his voice I said

“yes I did”

he got slightly angry and he said

“but what about us?”

I got mad that he was giving me an attitude about things that had nothing to do with him I said

“what about us, we have nothing going on. I want to go out with her because maybe I like her. And why are you giving me an attitude about it anyway?”

“I’m not!”

he yelled I said

“well then you shouldn’t have a problem with me dating her then!”

and I left he yelled after me and said

“I Don’t!”

I walked away to seventh period and I sat in my desk and drew in my note book anything that came to my head I drew a skull with johns facial features he sat next to me and said

“thinking about me?”'

I said softly but in an angry tone

“no, and why don’t you just leave me alone”

he said

“but I can’t do that”

I said

“look, why are you doing this to me?”

he said

“Doing what?”

I got even more angry I said

“this, just stop”

he said

“don’t go out with Kasey”

I looked at him and said

“just because I told you some private things doesn’t mean you have control over who I go out with im not breaking my date with her like it or not”

and I turned facing the chalk board he got slightly angry with me and said

“I can’t stay away from you, Baze, I want to but I can’t!”

and he got up and walked towards Greg the class went on and I felt so confined and confused it hurt me inside I placed my head down and the bell rang I walked out of the class room and finished the day and made my way home. Devon caught up with me and said

“hey I haven’t seen you all day. You ok?”

“Yea im fine”

I replied. We walked back home and just talked about each other’s day went I waved goodbye and walked inside and my mom said

“hello dear how was school?”

I smiled and said “fine thanks” she said

“bible study is tonight.”

I nodded and went upstairs I lay down on my bed and my dad knocked on my door he said

“can I come in?”

and I said

“sure”

he opened the door and said

“Hey, is everything ok? You know you can talk to me about anything.”

“No im fine but I have a question”

he said

“shoot”

“how come it is a sin for two guys or two girls to fall in love?”

He swallowed hard and said

“god is against that because it’s not normal to be like that, it’s wrong.”

I wanted to cry after hearing that he said

“you are not……gay are you?”

I laughed and said

“of course not”

he sighed in relief and said

“that’s good, and tell you what we will read that in bible study today”

I nodded and he left my room I cried hard I eventually fell asleep the rest of the night went on. At seven o clock I went to pick up Kasey. Kasey she was wearing a pink and white dress and she said

“im ready”

and I nodded we went to a restaurant called the corner we went inside and sat at the table she said

“so Baze what do you like to do?”

I said

“well I like playing guitar and painting. I have some pictures that I would like to show you some time.”

I smiled she laughed and said

“well I like to cook”

I smiled the waitress came and said

“what will it be I said “I’ll have the alfrado”

and she said

“I’ll have that to”

we laughed and ate and talked it was nice the night was eventually over and I walked her to her house and she said

“that was fun we should do it again”

I nodded and she turned and I stopped her and said

“wait!”

I kissed her softly her hands wrapped around my neck I pulled her close to me her lips moved with mine. I pulled away slowly and she smiled and said

“I’ll see you”

and I nodded and left but I knew that something was missing but I hope this will end my confusion I woke up the next day and went to school I walked through the doors and Kasey walked towards me and kissed me tenderly my hands gripped around her waist and she said

“mm good morning”

I smiled and said

“good morning to you to"

the bell abruptly rang and I said

“I’ll see you after class?”

she kissed me again and said

“ok”

and she left but then in the distance I saw john watching me his face slightly tense and angry I walked to gym and sat on the bench in the locker room I took off my shirt and brushed my hair out of my eyes and looked at the floor so my eyes didn’t lock to any guys in the locker room managed to do it that meant that I had got these feelings out all I could think about was Kasey everyone was done getting dressed but me I walked out of the locker room and played gym it was very agonizing I wanted to no see her again but I still looked at john the same way I couldn’t help it but john new this to gym was over and I went to the court yard and sat in the bench and john sat next to me and he said softly but angrily

“so you guys are dating now?”

I said

“yes we are”

he said

“you know that these feelings are getting stronger”

I said

“listen I don’t need you to tell me what I’m feeling why don’t you just leave me alone!”

he said

“I can’t!”

I said

“listen is this you do!”

he said

“what?!”

I said

“follow them and get them to fall for you and trying to be straight but you just keep coming into my life! Is this what you do?!”

Tears fell from my eyes and I stood up and left I walked home I went to my room and laid there knowing that these feelings were real and that I couldn’t forget them I finally knew I was gay. I cried scared but relieved at the same time. I woke up to a knock on the window I stood up and it was john I opened the window he crawled through and I sat on the edge of my bed I said

“what do you want? “

He came over to me and crouched in front of me he said

“Listen, I never want to hurt you. It I’ve been getting to know you and you are amazing and kind and the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you it’s just you make me feel like there is hope and I can’t stop these feelings or ignore them any longer I think I’m falling for you. I don’t want to feel this way. I can’t stop.”

He looked in my eyes his hand gripped my face they trembled he slowly leaned forward he kissed me hard there was desperation and tension in his mouth he pulled me tight against him he kissed me harder and even more intense his lips left mine his breath was shaky I looked in his eyes he put his forehead against mine he looked in my eyes and said

“I’ll see you“

I nodded and he stood up so did I. I said

“I’ll see you”

he kissed me hard and he left…..