Status: Hiatus
Lethal Addictions
Addiction
Addiction is a powerful thing. Something that all of us at one time in our lives go through! Some may not realize that they are addicted to something...and others know damn well that they couldn't surrvive without something! My addiction you might be wondering....cociane and I was a borderline alcoholic in my eyes. In my friends and family's eyes I was a junkie and a useless being. My Name is Addison Morgan and no one really gives a shit if I live or die!
Running never solved anything in my situation! Pretty much always made it worse. because everytime I got the chance to run and I took it...when I was caught my mother was contacted. And thanks to Ray, her jerk-off boyfriend, more time was added onto my time here at Spring Medows Drug & Alcohol Rebilatation Center. So, therefore, I stopped running along time ago! But it's still kinda funny to see the newbies try and run though!
Friends were something slim to none! I had no friends...I wanted no friends...and in my eyes I didn't need any friends! I was always on my own due to the lack of adult supervision that was given to me, which caused me to be in the situation I was in right now! You have no room for friends in this world that I'm in! All they try to do is stab you in the back! I haven't had a real friend since Corie back in Cali. Which at the time I didn't find her to be much of a friend for ratting me out when I tried to leave this world for the first time. But now I can honestly call that the only friendship I ever truely had that was real and not based on drugs!
Your time here at Spring Meadows consisted of a 6am bed check, 8am wake up call so you could make it to breakfast at 8:30am, 9am room check followed by 9:30am medacation, 10am group meeting number uno, 11am was your free time to make phone calls or what not, 12pm lunch, 12:30pm lock down in your room with checks every 30mins until 5pm dinner followed by a 6pm group meeting number 2, 7pm shower time for the chicks while the dudes watched tv, 7:30pm tv time for the females while the dudes showered, 8pm last group meeting of the day followed by lights out at 8:30pm...and room checks ever 30 mins until 6am when it all started again!
Group meetins where mandatory here! If you didn't attened them you where placed in isolation. I never minded being by myself in the first place because I had been that way basicly my whole life, so I spent most of my time here in the isolation part of the center. This is where I did most of my art work and writting in the fucked up Journal that was given to use! My councler, Pheobe, thrived off of my thoughts in the journals and loved my sence of style in my art work! So I passed with flying colors in that department.
I went through 12 Journals a week and everyone of them was kept on file in Pheobe's office. They where copied and sent to my mother which I had found out a little over a year ago! Most people will feel like that small peice of freedom was taken away from them because the one person you live to hate gets to read what your most personal thoughts are about but I didn't give a shit! It gave me a chance to get out what the fuck I was feeling on paper! I wanted her to known the hell I felt and what all I had went through! That way maybe, just maybe, she could feel a little peice of the pain and suffering I do each and everyday!
Sex was something that I had forgotten about! It just wasn't worht my time! Of course If I wanted it I could have it due to the fact that was a inter-gender rehab facility! I was hit on everday when we had a small slice of free time in a rare day. I just never wanted to jump at the chance to be fucking some random guy with a bigger drug problem than me and who proabably had every STD known to man!
Freedom was something I had also given up on because it seemed to be just a glimer of hope! Hope that maybe one day it would happen but I knew it wouldn't if my mom had something to do with it! I didn't fear ever being free...but it was a big possiabilty that I would turn back into the junkie I once was. That part I dont think I missed...the wanting and needing of something that was killing me! I missed working as a tattoist. I missed seeing people who where real and not morbid!
My mind did alot of wondering when I was alone and didn't feel like writting in the Journal! I let it wonder to my time as a child and the time I spent with 2 of the best brother's any little sister could have asked for. Jason and Matt where at one time all I lived for! They protected me and loved me! So many times I would just wonder if they missed, thought, or even better....if they still loved me? I knew that they probably had a better life than I had...and I knew that they where probably doing something amazing with themselves! More than I can say for me.
Time would only tell if the life of Addison Morgan would get better or worse...and I had a feeling it would be happening sooner rather than later!
Running never solved anything in my situation! Pretty much always made it worse. because everytime I got the chance to run and I took it...when I was caught my mother was contacted. And thanks to Ray, her jerk-off boyfriend, more time was added onto my time here at Spring Medows Drug & Alcohol Rebilatation Center. So, therefore, I stopped running along time ago! But it's still kinda funny to see the newbies try and run though!
Friends were something slim to none! I had no friends...I wanted no friends...and in my eyes I didn't need any friends! I was always on my own due to the lack of adult supervision that was given to me, which caused me to be in the situation I was in right now! You have no room for friends in this world that I'm in! All they try to do is stab you in the back! I haven't had a real friend since Corie back in Cali. Which at the time I didn't find her to be much of a friend for ratting me out when I tried to leave this world for the first time. But now I can honestly call that the only friendship I ever truely had that was real and not based on drugs!
Your time here at Spring Meadows consisted of a 6am bed check, 8am wake up call so you could make it to breakfast at 8:30am, 9am room check followed by 9:30am medacation, 10am group meeting number uno, 11am was your free time to make phone calls or what not, 12pm lunch, 12:30pm lock down in your room with checks every 30mins until 5pm dinner followed by a 6pm group meeting number 2, 7pm shower time for the chicks while the dudes watched tv, 7:30pm tv time for the females while the dudes showered, 8pm last group meeting of the day followed by lights out at 8:30pm...and room checks ever 30 mins until 6am when it all started again!
Group meetins where mandatory here! If you didn't attened them you where placed in isolation. I never minded being by myself in the first place because I had been that way basicly my whole life, so I spent most of my time here in the isolation part of the center. This is where I did most of my art work and writting in the fucked up Journal that was given to use! My councler, Pheobe, thrived off of my thoughts in the journals and loved my sence of style in my art work! So I passed with flying colors in that department.
I went through 12 Journals a week and everyone of them was kept on file in Pheobe's office. They where copied and sent to my mother which I had found out a little over a year ago! Most people will feel like that small peice of freedom was taken away from them because the one person you live to hate gets to read what your most personal thoughts are about but I didn't give a shit! It gave me a chance to get out what the fuck I was feeling on paper! I wanted her to known the hell I felt and what all I had went through! That way maybe, just maybe, she could feel a little peice of the pain and suffering I do each and everyday!
Sex was something that I had forgotten about! It just wasn't worht my time! Of course If I wanted it I could have it due to the fact that was a inter-gender rehab facility! I was hit on everday when we had a small slice of free time in a rare day. I just never wanted to jump at the chance to be fucking some random guy with a bigger drug problem than me and who proabably had every STD known to man!
Freedom was something I had also given up on because it seemed to be just a glimer of hope! Hope that maybe one day it would happen but I knew it wouldn't if my mom had something to do with it! I didn't fear ever being free...but it was a big possiabilty that I would turn back into the junkie I once was. That part I dont think I missed...the wanting and needing of something that was killing me! I missed working as a tattoist. I missed seeing people who where real and not morbid!
My mind did alot of wondering when I was alone and didn't feel like writting in the Journal! I let it wonder to my time as a child and the time I spent with 2 of the best brother's any little sister could have asked for. Jason and Matt where at one time all I lived for! They protected me and loved me! So many times I would just wonder if they missed, thought, or even better....if they still loved me? I knew that they probably had a better life than I had...and I knew that they where probably doing something amazing with themselves! More than I can say for me.
Time would only tell if the life of Addison Morgan would get better or worse...and I had a feeling it would be happening sooner rather than later!