Status: Finished
I Hope You Like the Stars I Stole for You
Chapter Twenty-Eight- I've Been Saving Myself For You
I didn’t have time to scream or wake anyone else up, I just acted on impulse. I busted through the bathroom door, to see Vic, frozen. In his hand was an empty pill bottle’s entire contents.
The bottle and a few other bathroom items were on the floor, that must have been the thud I’d heard. I closed the door behind me, trying to give us some privacy. “Vic.” I whispered brokenly. He just kept staring at the pills. I stepped closer. “Vic ?” His palm was completely flat, covered in the white pills, and I just couldn’t stand there any longer. I smacked his hand underneath so that it flew up, scattering the pills everywhere. They rained around us for a moment, before Vic looked at me. “Why. Did. You. Do. That.”
His voice was full of venom, and it scared me to death. I started to cry, “Vic please. Goddamit Victor Vincent. Please stop. I love you more than anyone else in the entire world, more than anything in the entire world, more than the entire world itself. I only broke up with you because I thought you didn’t want me anymore and I wanted you to be happy. Your happiness is the most important thing to me, Vic. I would do anything to make you happy, okay ? I’ll do anything you want. I’ll leave right now and never come back if that’s what you want. Just please stay alive, I can’t exist in a world where you don’t. If you go, I go. If you die, I die too.”
He looked at me, the hate draining from his eyes. “Is that what you think ? That I’m mad because you broke up with me ? That I want you to go away and I’ll never get to see you again ? That I want you to die ? That I want you to love me ? Because Pruitt, I’m mad at myself. I want to die because of myself. I pushed you away, I let you go, and now I just feel so…empty. When you broke up with me, I pictured my life without you and it meant nothing. I had nothing to look forward to anymore, it was just hopeless. I felt utterly devoid of emotion, nothing mattered anymore. I could physically feel how meaningless everything was, and it was so scary. It was like looking into the deepest, darkest pit you could imagine and knowing that you were about o climb in it and never get out. But you have another option, kill yourself before you climb into this pit, so the obvious choice is to take the easy way out. I felt so much pain and so much nothingness at the same time, and I couldn’t function and I didn’t know what to do and I just kept walking and walking. I don’t know how you guys found me…I didn’t even want to find myself. I didn’t even know where my own soul was. You took it with you when you left, you took my heart…it’s beating for you anyway. But look at how upset I’ve made you, and everyone else in this house. I’ve gone and wrecked everything, and I can’t…I don’t know how to fix it. I DESERVE to die.”
He sank to the ground, his face in his knees, sobbing. I crouched beside him, “No you don’t Victor, don’t ever say that. People make mistakes, and things can always be fixed. No one is mad at you, I’m not mad at you. We can move past this, but you have to be alive to see it.” I put my arms around him, crying into his shoulder. “Darling, you’ll be okay. I promise fix, I’m going to help you okay ? And I won’t tell anyone, if you don’t want.”
Vic looked at me “I would rather end it all tonight.”
“Victor, you’re the only thing that’s keeping me alive. Without you, there is no me. So we either stay alive together or die together, your choice.”
He squeezed my hand, “Then you know what my answer is.” He stood “C’mon, before someone notices we’re up.” He dragged me downstairs, climbing into a spot near the edge of the pillow-bed. I snuggled as close to possible to him, wrapping both arms around him and holding tight. He tightened his grip on me, then pulled the blankets over us. We didn’t sleep for a while, just enjoyed the perfection in the world. Being in his arms right now was the best feeling I’d ever had; I had almost lost him so many times today and now everything was finally in place. I felt warm and safe, and at this point I didn’t care if I died because I’d already made it to heaven.
“Did you say it ? I love you, I don’t ever wanna live without you. You changed my life. Did you say it ? Make a plan, set a goal, work toward it. But every now and then, look around. Drink it in, because this is it. And it might all be gone tomorrow.”
The bottle and a few other bathroom items were on the floor, that must have been the thud I’d heard. I closed the door behind me, trying to give us some privacy. “Vic.” I whispered brokenly. He just kept staring at the pills. I stepped closer. “Vic ?” His palm was completely flat, covered in the white pills, and I just couldn’t stand there any longer. I smacked his hand underneath so that it flew up, scattering the pills everywhere. They rained around us for a moment, before Vic looked at me. “Why. Did. You. Do. That.”
His voice was full of venom, and it scared me to death. I started to cry, “Vic please. Goddamit Victor Vincent. Please stop. I love you more than anyone else in the entire world, more than anything in the entire world, more than the entire world itself. I only broke up with you because I thought you didn’t want me anymore and I wanted you to be happy. Your happiness is the most important thing to me, Vic. I would do anything to make you happy, okay ? I’ll do anything you want. I’ll leave right now and never come back if that’s what you want. Just please stay alive, I can’t exist in a world where you don’t. If you go, I go. If you die, I die too.”
He looked at me, the hate draining from his eyes. “Is that what you think ? That I’m mad because you broke up with me ? That I want you to go away and I’ll never get to see you again ? That I want you to die ? That I want you to love me ? Because Pruitt, I’m mad at myself. I want to die because of myself. I pushed you away, I let you go, and now I just feel so…empty. When you broke up with me, I pictured my life without you and it meant nothing. I had nothing to look forward to anymore, it was just hopeless. I felt utterly devoid of emotion, nothing mattered anymore. I could physically feel how meaningless everything was, and it was so scary. It was like looking into the deepest, darkest pit you could imagine and knowing that you were about o climb in it and never get out. But you have another option, kill yourself before you climb into this pit, so the obvious choice is to take the easy way out. I felt so much pain and so much nothingness at the same time, and I couldn’t function and I didn’t know what to do and I just kept walking and walking. I don’t know how you guys found me…I didn’t even want to find myself. I didn’t even know where my own soul was. You took it with you when you left, you took my heart…it’s beating for you anyway. But look at how upset I’ve made you, and everyone else in this house. I’ve gone and wrecked everything, and I can’t…I don’t know how to fix it. I DESERVE to die.”
He sank to the ground, his face in his knees, sobbing. I crouched beside him, “No you don’t Victor, don’t ever say that. People make mistakes, and things can always be fixed. No one is mad at you, I’m not mad at you. We can move past this, but you have to be alive to see it.” I put my arms around him, crying into his shoulder. “Darling, you’ll be okay. I promise fix, I’m going to help you okay ? And I won’t tell anyone, if you don’t want.”
Vic looked at me “I would rather end it all tonight.”
“Victor, you’re the only thing that’s keeping me alive. Without you, there is no me. So we either stay alive together or die together, your choice.”
He squeezed my hand, “Then you know what my answer is.” He stood “C’mon, before someone notices we’re up.” He dragged me downstairs, climbing into a spot near the edge of the pillow-bed. I snuggled as close to possible to him, wrapping both arms around him and holding tight. He tightened his grip on me, then pulled the blankets over us. We didn’t sleep for a while, just enjoyed the perfection in the world. Being in his arms right now was the best feeling I’d ever had; I had almost lost him so many times today and now everything was finally in place. I felt warm and safe, and at this point I didn’t care if I died because I’d already made it to heaven.
“Did you say it ? I love you, I don’t ever wanna live without you. You changed my life. Did you say it ? Make a plan, set a goal, work toward it. But every now and then, look around. Drink it in, because this is it. And it might all be gone tomorrow.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Kind of short, but I've been busting out a lot of chapters lately ! You guys probably think I'm so lame because of all the song quotes in here, but I couldn't help it !