"Blessed" with a Curse
One.
White…everything is covered in white. It never changes. It snows constantly.
And if it doesn’t, the snow doesn’t completely melt, keeping the world white.
Even though today is the anniversary, I didn’t feel as low as before.
Maybe I’m glad it happened, even if it was a failed suicide attempt, because I’m able to see and talk to my dear Kellin again.
He appeared next to me, bringing a small smile to my face.
I would like it to be larger, but I just don’t have the heart for it.
“Hey, Kell.”
“It’s been two years…when are you going to let me go, Austin?”
I bit down on my lip and shook my head.
I hate it when he asks me that.
“You know well enough that I could never let you go, Kellin…”
He sighed and tried to place a hand on my cheek, but it went through, just like it always does.
It’s so painful.
“I miss your touch, Kell.”
“Aus…”
The sound of my nickname was enough to bring tears to my eyes.
“Please…it’s not healthy living like this…! You even tried to kill yourself!”
“But I’m still alive.”
“You died and came back. You were lucky that man found you just in time!”
“At least I was able to see you again because of it…but I would have been better off dead—”
“Stop it, Austin!!!”
His anger was apparent as he cracked a couple of windows.
I bit down on my lip again and pulled my knees to my chest.
“I’m sorry, Kellin. Please don’t be mad at me…”
“No…I’m sorry…I’m…I’m just so worried about you. You’re becoming a more of a wreck, Aus! You drink yourself sick, you cut yourself constantly. Sometimes you pass out because you don’t eat enough or get enough sleep! I can’t stand to see you like this! What happened to me was not your fault in any way. Please…move on, Austin. Everything will be okay.”
I shook my head again.
“I love you too much, Kellin. I’ve never let you go. Even after you died. How can you expect me to do so now?”
He didn’t reply.
“Just…don’t disappear right now…please…stay with me a little longer?”
He gave me a sympathetic look with those dull, blue eyes.
“I’ll stay, Aus. I’ll stay… ”
We spent the rest of the day remembering when everything was normal. We even laughed at some embarrassing moments that were mentioned.
I always feel at ease whenever I see him and talk to him.
“I love you, Kellin.”
“…I love you too, Aus…”
Maybe he’s not alive, but as long as he’s here with me…
I can afford to live another day.
And if it doesn’t, the snow doesn’t completely melt, keeping the world white.
Even though today is the anniversary, I didn’t feel as low as before.
Maybe I’m glad it happened, even if it was a failed suicide attempt, because I’m able to see and talk to my dear Kellin again.
He appeared next to me, bringing a small smile to my face.
I would like it to be larger, but I just don’t have the heart for it.
“Hey, Kell.”
“It’s been two years…when are you going to let me go, Austin?”
I bit down on my lip and shook my head.
I hate it when he asks me that.
“You know well enough that I could never let you go, Kellin…”
He sighed and tried to place a hand on my cheek, but it went through, just like it always does.
It’s so painful.
“I miss your touch, Kell.”
“Aus…”
The sound of my nickname was enough to bring tears to my eyes.
“Please…it’s not healthy living like this…! You even tried to kill yourself!”
“But I’m still alive.”
“You died and came back. You were lucky that man found you just in time!”
“At least I was able to see you again because of it…but I would have been better off dead—”
“Stop it, Austin!!!”
His anger was apparent as he cracked a couple of windows.
I bit down on my lip again and pulled my knees to my chest.
“I’m sorry, Kellin. Please don’t be mad at me…”
“No…I’m sorry…I’m…I’m just so worried about you. You’re becoming a more of a wreck, Aus! You drink yourself sick, you cut yourself constantly. Sometimes you pass out because you don’t eat enough or get enough sleep! I can’t stand to see you like this! What happened to me was not your fault in any way. Please…move on, Austin. Everything will be okay.”
I shook my head again.
“I love you too much, Kellin. I’ve never let you go. Even after you died. How can you expect me to do so now?”
He didn’t reply.
“Just…don’t disappear right now…please…stay with me a little longer?”
He gave me a sympathetic look with those dull, blue eyes.
“I’ll stay, Aus. I’ll stay… ”
We spent the rest of the day remembering when everything was normal. We even laughed at some embarrassing moments that were mentioned.
I always feel at ease whenever I see him and talk to him.
“I love you, Kellin.”
“…I love you too, Aus…”
Maybe he’s not alive, but as long as he’s here with me…
I can afford to live another day.
♠ ♠ ♠
New story everyone! And I have Spring break this week. So that means more time to write! :DLet me know what you all think so far, lovelies! Comments make me happy. c: <3