"Blessed" with a Curse

“Hey, Alan. What are you looking at?”
He turned around in the chair to look at me and gave me a small smile.

“There’s a fair going on this Saturday in a town near us.”
I bit down on my lip and dropped my gaze to the floor.

I haven’t really been in a public place since Kellin died. I would just go to the office for work and the store for groceries.

I feel nauseous just thinking about facing society again…

“It’s okay…I understand if you don’t want to go. I just thought…it would kind of nice to just get out of the house and have a little fun. You work so hard and so much and…”
He trailed off.

I looked at him. There was disappointment and sadness hidden in those hazel eyes.
My eyes shifted to the scratch on his cheek.

I did that…I got drunk again…and I slapped him because I was frustrated and confused…
Why does he put up with me…? Even I’m disgusted with myself…

I held my right hand so I wouldn’t try to scratch the healing cuts…

I have to make it up to him…

“Let’s go…”
“What…?” His eyes went wide.

“You’re right…we have been stuck in this house for a bit…maybe it’s time that I show my face to society again…besides, a fair does sound fun, and you deserve it.”
I smiled at him and ruffled his hair. He blushed a little as his smile grew wider.

“T-Thank you…”

I watched as he ran upstairs, probably to pick out what he’s going to wear.

I need to do this…I need to pay him back for all the times I yelled at him or hurt him.
It could be a small recovery too…maybe I could start to get better, just like Kellin and Mitch wanted me to.

I leant against the table and closed my eyes.
The room was quiet and I could hear the wind blowing outside.

Kellin…please come back…I miss you.

I eyes shot open when I heard my phone vibrate on the desk.

A text from Ronnie.

‘Help! The printer is jammed and some douchedick changed the password to the network!!!’
I typed on the keyboard.

‘You’re so helpless…I’ll be there in about 20 min.’

‘Hurry up…! I think it’s leaking ink…!!!’

Alan came back downstairs as soon as I put my coat on.

“Where are you going…?”
“I have to help poor Ronnie at the office. I’ll be back in about two hours, depends how much he messed up.”

“Okay…come back home safe…”
I nodded and ruffled his hair.

I opened the door and stepped outside. The wind started to pick up.

“Don’t go…”

I turned back to the door, but Alan wasn’t there.

I must be hearing things…

I closed the door and continued to walk.

“Don’t go…”

I stopped and looked around.
That time…it sounded like Kellin’s voice…

I started to walk again, and on the rest of the way there, I didn’t hear the voice.
~*~*~*~*~

“Dude…it looks like we murdered the printer…there’s ink EVERYWHERE…”
I took a deep breath and wiped my forehead. “All because you jammed the printer…”

I removed the gloves from my hands and tossed them into the trash.

“At least it’s fixed now…! Now, help me with the network login.”
“The password is '1923847'.” “What the hell does that stand for?!”
I shrugged my shoulders as I cleaned up the rest of the ink.

“Okay! I’m in! Thank you so much, Aus!”
I patted him on the shoulder. “No problem. I’m gonna go. Don’t forget to lock up the place when you’re done.”

“W-Wait. I wouldn’t walk out there if I were you. There’s a bad snow storm going on, back where you live.”

With those words, something instantly clicked inside of my head.

Kellin was telling me to stay with Alan…because…
His fear of lightning and thunder…

“Ronnie. I need you to drive me to my house! ASAP!”
He gave me a credulous look, but didn’t hesitate to grab his jacket and his car keys.
~*~*~*~*~

“Alan?!”
I was lucky enough to make it back home in one piece.
When Ronnie said it was a bad storm, he wasn’t kidding.

A huge lightning flash ripped through the sky, even startling me a bit. The loud thunder rolled in after, shaking the house.

“Alan! Tell me where you are!” I ran upstairs into my room.

There he was, huddled up into the same corner as last time.
His eyes were shut and he covered his ears with his hands, trembling nonstop.

“No…Please…I don’t want it…I don’t want it, Mom…”

“Alan…?”
I carefully walked to him and knelt down next to him.

“No more…no more…it hurts…no more…”

“Alan?”
I placed a hand on his shoulder.

“No!!! No more!!! Don’t touch me!!! Don’t touch me!!! I don’t want it!!! I’m sorry!!!”
Without a warning, he tried to thrash away from me, hitting me with his fists.

“Alan! Alan, stop!”
I grabbed his wrists to stop his impacts. He still tried to thrash and squirm away from me.

“No! Don’t hurt me! I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry!”
“Alan! Open your eyes! It’s me!”

He didn’t listen. He only continued to tire himself out, still trying to escape me.

He eventually stopped moving and started to cry.

“Please, Mom…don’t…don’t…no more…”

I let go of his wrists and gently petted his hair.

“It’s okay, Alan…it’s gonna be okay…I won’t hurt you anymore…I promise…”
He opened his eyes and looked up at me.

“A-Austin…?”

He instantly sat up hugged me tightly, crying into my chest.
I ran my hand through his hair again and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“I’m sorry, Alan…I didn’t know…I didn’t know the weather would be this bad. I should have taken you with me…I’m sorry…”

He didn’t respond. He only held onto me tighter.

My heart was racing again. However, the curse didn’t matter right now.

Right now, my main priority is the scared, helpless, ginger in my arms.
I have accepted the truth that I have feared for the longest:

I’m falling in love with Alan Ashby.