Do You Remember Us?

Same nightmare every night, waking me up way too early and once I got up there was no way I would get sleep anymore. This started right after tour, when we got back to home. Ben had spent few nights sleeping next to me due the screaming and panic attacks, but he started to get so tired for watching me every night so I made him stay in his own bed unless I needed him.

It was around ten in the morning; Ben hadn’t even waked up yet, when the doorbell rang. My hair was on a messy bun, I had shorts and a long sleeved shirt. I was carrying a coffee cup on my left hand when I opened the door. ‘Why did you ring the doorbell Mike, you know where the spear key is.’ I sighed and let him in. He planted a small kiss on my lips and walked straight in to the kitchen area. He knew where everything was located so he went straight into making breakfast.

‘How did you sleep?’ He asked with his husky Mexican voice. I hated that question and he pretty well knew my answer. ‘Like I have slept the last two months.’ I sighed and took a sip from my now cooled coffee. ‘And that means waking around three in the morning and putting the coffee maker on, which wakes me up.’ Ben groaned and walked into the room just in his boxers. Ben hated Mike more than he did Austin at the moment and it was easy to notice the tension between those two, but Ben let him be, knowing that if he kicked him out, I would probably go with him.

‘Oliver called ten minutes ago, he is coming to visit.’ Ben rubbed his eyes and scratched his neck before kissing my head and sitting on the stool next to me. Mike didn’t like Oliver, at all. He saw him as a threat, which I have to admit, he was. I loved Oliver, fucking hell I still loved Austin, but I only fancied Mike. He was my third choice and he hated it and he knew how to show his hatred against me while he was drunk, but no one knew about it, not even Mike who were so drunk that he didn’t remember doing anything the next morning he woke up.

I really didn’t mind the bruises on my body; they were nothing against my new scars on my wrists, which explains my long sleeved shirts. The bruises were located on my stomach and ribs so no one saw them, not even Mike because I didn’t have any interest in sex these days, maybe when I was drunk, and when I was drunk Mike was drunk which brings us to the point that he doesn’t remember seeing the bruises when he wakes up. I was a bit scared that Mike would someday put me into the morgue, but I didn’t really care.

What comes to Austin, he has been trying to call me every day but I never answer. Alan and Aaron are the only ones I keep in touch from Of Mice & Men. Alan mostly talks about Ariel, even though they decided to stay as friends due the fact she lives in Finland and Alan in California.
Amanda is the only one who hasn’t tried to even text me. She had disappeared from my life and I couldn’t care less if I didn’t hear about her never again. She was my best girlfriend and he just had to go and shag my boyfriend. I promised her that if I see her ever again I would snap her head off and feed it to Oliver’s dog.

So this is my life at the moment.

‘Wake up sunshine.’ Familiar British voice echoed in my head and suddenly someone was jumping on my bed, right next to me making me fly off the bed. ‘Danny Robert Worsnop, I will fucking kill you.’ I spat and got up from the floor. ‘Wait, how much is it?’ I rubbed my eyes. ‘Noon.’ He jumped off the bed and hugged me. This was the first time in months that i had slept over three hours not to mention i had just slept full twelve. ‘Get off of me you hairy twat.’ I pushed him away and scratched my head. Danny pouted and sat on my bed. ‘You are a pure Bruce, you know that? Always saying those awful things about me.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘You spelled the word truths wrong.’ I ruffled his for once washed hair and headed downstairs, where the whole band was chatting and having breakfast.
‘Were you sleeping?’ Ben looked surprised. ‘Yeah, until that miniature Hagrid jumped on my bed.’ I yawned. ‘I heard that.’ Came a yell from upstairs. I hadn’t seen the band in few weeks, I missed them. They were my family and it felt weird not to have them around. I hugged everyone and kissed my brothers cheek.

‘Fuentes was here this morning.’ James informed and at the same time Danny walked down from the upstairs. ‘Mike stops by every morning.’ I sighed and took a clean glass from the cabinet and fill it with water so I could take my medication. ‘Not Mike, Vic.’ Ben said like it would be obvious that my ‘boyfriend’s’ older brother decides to visit when normally it’s the younger one. ‘So what was Vic up to?’ I swallowed all the pills at the same time. ‘Oh nothing much, he just stopped by to tell his little brothers girlfriends older brother that his little brother has been hitting my little sister.’ Ben blurted out. My grip on the glass tightened and I saw how the color escaped my fingers, leaving them white.
‘H-how do-does he k-know?’ I stuttered. Ben got up from his seat, walked over me and lifted my shirt up, revealing my almost fully bruised stomach. Some of the bruises were old and some were new which meant yellow area there, purple here. Everyone gasped and dropped their cutleries. ‘I’m going to kill that bastard.’ Danny spat and stormed towards the front door. ‘No need Danny, Vic and their parents are doing that at the moment.’ Ben sighed and let my shirt fall back to cover my body.

For two hours I listened as Ben yelled at me how stupid I were and how I should have told him. Rest of the band sat quietly around me, doing little things like rubbing my back, squeezing my hand, sending me small smiled. And when Ben finally stopped, he was in tears. And just to make it even worse, Austin called him.

‘Not fucking now Carlile.’ Ben yelled to the phone with all he got and hung up.