Playing the King's ***

Rochester was sat on his bed, watching me pace up and down the room in frustration. Why had acting seemed so easy before? What Johnny was teaching me was so difficult, so hard to effectively grasp. He sat with his cane in his left hand, steadfast to the floor, ready and waiting to point stage directions at me. He held a cigarette in his right. Every now and then he took what seemed like a long, exasperated puff on it, making his beautifully structured cheeks hollow for a moment, before blowing out a billowing cloud of white smoke.

“What did I do wrong that time, Johnny?” I whined, exhausted. He stubbed out his diminishing smoke.

“It was better. Remember to consistently feel the emotion Hamlet is experiencing in yourself, as if you are him. Hamlet isn’t a character to you in this moment, he IS you. You know his mindset –“

“He is considering self sacrifice. He has just endured the unpleasantness of Geraldine and Claudius’s court, and his parents are forcing him to stop his studies. He feels suicide is the only way to escape, a delicious option set against the painful life he has on the earth. He doesn’t feel that it is right, however, because religion forbids it. He is in an intense turmoil.” I replied, relaying everything I knew about the character and this particular monologue, and adding in what Rochester had learnt me this evening.

“Yes, perfect. Now perform it as if you are telling your parents exactly what your opinion is; as if Hamlet was in your situation and this is what you had to say to them. How would you speak to your mother and father? Make these emotions real, even if it upsets you. Exaggeration and sacrifice is everything in theatre. When you have hundreds of rowdy drunks in the pit ready to throw litter and rotting shit at the slightest mistake it is important you make them sit down, shut up and listen to what you have to say for that ovation at the end.” Johnny guided me. He was a very intense teacher; you had to put every ounce of yourself into it, and if you didn’t he noticed.

I slumped into the chair John had retrieved for me earlier. “I just feel like I keep disappointing you Johnny. I’m just so tired... maybe it would be best if I just went back to my quarters and carried on after work tomorrow.” I mumbled, trying to blink the heaviness in my eyelids away and stop the encroaching tiredness. Johnny made his way over to me and crouched at my feet.

“Before we commence, you are never going back to the maid’s quarters. You will work one to two hours a day so that no one has doubts as to whether you are still a member of cleaning staff, and then return to me. You can stay in this room at night, if that’s okay with madam?” I nodded. “Good. I will pay for everything you need at the palace, and the money you said that you stole from your Father you can keep for use as you like. Does that tickle one’s fancy?” John offered.

“That sounds wonderful, Johnny. Thank you.” I said, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear as he kneeled in front of me.

“There is one condition of course.” I looked at his face, waiting to hear the price I had to pay for the kindness John was so strangely showing me. “You must apply yourself whole heartedly, practise every day wherever and whenever you can and ensure that you enforce the methods that I teach you.” Johnny said with an assuming scratch of the chin.

“And who is to say that I wish to accept this now, Johnny?” I said, a coy smile playing about my lips.

“Blossom, agree to this and you can have the world. Women need to prove themselves worthy of the stage since Charles decreed you could act at last. Men are distraught that they have lost their roles because of the new law, and women need to solidify their place in the business. With my years of experience you will have such an advantage, the theatre managers will not know what’s hit them.” Johnny smiled from under his moustache. I thought for a while before sloppily covering my eyes.

“What if I end up being terrible and you throw me back to the maids’ quarters to be embarrassed for my entire life?” I moaned, feeling doubtful after the multiple failings tonight.

“You are one in a million, Blossom. Like I have told you time and again; you are unlike any woman I have ever met here at Kensington. You won’t submit and you’re not easy to fully seduce... You’re opinionated, wild and free spirited – completely unique to any whore I have ever met. It seems you seek a visible and emotional form of happiness in freedom. In a crowd, you’d shine as bright as the stars above and I could spot you from a mile away. Trust me, sweetheart, there is no chance of you embarrassing yourself. You were born for this; especially with me as a teacher.” And there was big headed Rochester back.

“Promise me one thing then, Johnny.” I said, pulling him closer to me and bringing my mouth to his ear, my hot, tired breath clinging to his skin. “When you love me, love me truly. I don’t want to be a disposable toy like your other whores. Of course, I’m very fond of being wild, but I don’t want to commit myself to someone like this when feelings may merely be one sided or non-existent. Please don’t make me into a joke, Johnny...” I whispered, finding myself crying. I nestled my face into his neck to hide my silly emotions. John came out of his typically cold but sensuous exterior and did something out of the ordinary. He lovingly cradled me in that moment, solidifying everything I had asked.

“I promise. Now can we please complete this Hamlet monologue? You are honestly the greatest distraction I’ve known, Blossom.” He said, returning to his seat on the bed. I stood and began to speak, remembering the emotions and trying to convey them as Hamlet would.

‘O that this too too solid flesh would melt,
Thaw, and resolve itself into a dew!
Or that the Everlasting had not fix’d
His cannon against self-slaughter! O God! O God!
How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable
Seem to me all the uses of this world!’

And so the night played on. Rochester listened and taught me new techniques he had learnt on his travels in Europe during exile that local Londoners wouldn't have seen before, and I listened and performed to him. Each time my performance bettered itself, and each time I could see Johnny's face light up a little bit more. We laughed together, mocked each other and genuinely had a lovely evening, drinking and smoking while doing something we both loved. Betty was what I wasn't looking forward to.