Are You Locked Up in a World That's Been Planned Out for You?
Chapter sixteen
Jessica took the news about Mike and myself well. I’d never had anything serious before, even though this was an agreed casual thing it was the closest thing to a relationship I had ever had. So she was happy she’d finally get to giggle about these kind of things with me without me rolling my eyes, and I guess she thought I would now be happier. I was happy for eighteen years without being in some kind of relationship, but whatever.
Of course Jessica’s main concern was that I was obviously not going to be able to go to prom with Mike in May. I was not concerned whatsoever about that. Prom to me was just a gimmick, a fun gimmick, but it held less meaning to me than your usual high school senior. I was more concerned about having a good time and a good farewell to my graduating class rather than having a perfect prom night to be able to brag to everyone, including generations to come.
It may also be a bleak way of approaching this ‘relationship’ with Mike (Call it what you will, we may not have a label but it is a relationship of some sort) but I was trying to at least create some kind of distance, and doubting something long term helped that. It was better to look at the facts and remain realistic than be optimistic and be hurt in the long run.
Dad returned home on Valentines Day at around nine o’ clock. He was with his witness for a long time, and by the time he was finished and knew about the incident between the criminal and I he knew it was probably quicker and better to come home and see if I was okay in person, rather than calling me up.
However in between Mike dropping me off, and dad coming home I was in a constant state of fear. I was scared dad somehow knew what had just happened between Mike and I, and hoped this constant stare of fear would subside over time.
Even though his method of communication was unexpected, dad’s reaction was typical. He burst through the door, ran to me and asked if I was okay. I told him my side of the story, and then dad told me what happened after I left. The criminal was issued an on the spot fine for harassment, and was treated pretty awfully for the rest of the night by both uniformed officers coming in and out as well as all the detectives. Dad was also thankful of Mike being protective (which made my heart race that others noticed that Mike’s reaction was something to take note of) however Dad thought nothing of it, saying he was glad that Mike’s infamous hot-headedness had paid off in our favour, that he was so glad Mike had driven me home and that he would probably buy Mike coffee tomorrow.
I slept soundly that night knowing that we were in the all clear.
Mike had slipped me his number as he dropped me off at home, and gave me a few tips about how to be in contact without getting caught. I was also the daughter of a detective so I knew how these things worked.
I was now going for quite a few ‘walks’, which I palmed off as needing due to the stress of the peak of senior year. This excuse was only needed when dad was home however; he was out quite a bit. A lot of the time it was due to him working long hours, other times he was out networking in order to establish and maintain networks he had to make his job a lot easier.
During these walks I’d go to a payphone and call Mike. They weren’t lengthy calls, but just enough to catch up and speak to each other. On the third call we made plans, he actually wanted to take me out to a restaurant and pay for it all, as well as pick me up. A real date. No awkward dates at the movies where the loser had ‘forgotten his wallet’ and I had to pay for everything, or where I’d just sit at the skate park with Jessica whilst our boys spent the entire time on their skateboards doing tricks. I was going on the first real date of my life, and I was thrilled.
***
“That was such a smart idea.” Jessica giggled at me, as she was sitting on my bed as I dug through my wardrobe in order to find the perfect outfit.
“I know. I knew seeing dad at precinct would kill two birds with one stone. That way I’d get to find out his plans for the night, and Mike would also be informed by being able to overhear.” I brightly beamed.
Jessica and I had gone into the 27th precinct earlier today to visit our respective dads. We were let into the squad room, where my father was at his desk doing paperwork, and Lennie and Mike were a few desks away at their own making a few phone calls. Lennie, Jessica, my dad and myself then had a four way conversation, where dad revealed that tonight he was going to be spending the night across the border in Jersey where he was spending a night out with friends.
Mike, who was unable to make phone calls due to all the noise and his partner being engaged in conversation had moved onto paperwork, but was within earshot and now knew it was safe to pick me up and drop me off home as I did not have a police detective questioning father wondering where I had been.
Jessica also decided to stay the night, and would crash at my house whilst I was out. That way she could help me get ready and be there to listen to all the nitty gritty details of my date.
However I was disagreeing with what Jessica had planned for me. It was easy for her to wear whatever she wanted; she was tanned, petite and slender.
I was above average height for a female, standing at 173cm or approximately 5’7. I also had a curvy frame – curvy as in hourglass, so although I was far from chubby I still couldn’t wear exactly the same clothes that Jessica got away with. I was also pretty pale, having Irish genetics; I was scared I would blind people…
She was also choosing the most formal clothing in my wardrobe, which was definitely inappropriate for this date. She was gunning for the dress that dad had bought for me to wear to Ray Junior’s baptism. It was actually a nice dress; it was silky red, bunched up at the bottom and had a big black bow around the waist. The spaghetti straps were adjustable, it could either be very modest, or with a push up bra it could be cleavage city. I had shown Jessica this once, and she was now demanding for me to wear it.
“No! I can’t wear this. He’s taking me to a casual restaurant, I would either look super desperate, or like I’m expecting a really expensive restaurant. You do want me to continue seeing him don’t you?” I asked her, raising my eyebrow.
“…well yes. But the likelihood of that increases on the better you look. So girl, I want to see an outfit that shows a bit of leg or a bit of cleavage.” Jessica winked.
“Alright then. It’s still winter technically, so let’s go with cleavage because it’s less suspicious than leg.” I sighed, but added a small smile to the end of my sentence.
As annoying as I was pretending Jessica was being right now, she was the best friend ever. I’d be completely lost without her, and I shudder to think how I’d survive this date without her preparation, let alone know proper date etiquette or know what to wear.
Of course Jessica’s main concern was that I was obviously not going to be able to go to prom with Mike in May. I was not concerned whatsoever about that. Prom to me was just a gimmick, a fun gimmick, but it held less meaning to me than your usual high school senior. I was more concerned about having a good time and a good farewell to my graduating class rather than having a perfect prom night to be able to brag to everyone, including generations to come.
It may also be a bleak way of approaching this ‘relationship’ with Mike (Call it what you will, we may not have a label but it is a relationship of some sort) but I was trying to at least create some kind of distance, and doubting something long term helped that. It was better to look at the facts and remain realistic than be optimistic and be hurt in the long run.
Dad returned home on Valentines Day at around nine o’ clock. He was with his witness for a long time, and by the time he was finished and knew about the incident between the criminal and I he knew it was probably quicker and better to come home and see if I was okay in person, rather than calling me up.
However in between Mike dropping me off, and dad coming home I was in a constant state of fear. I was scared dad somehow knew what had just happened between Mike and I, and hoped this constant stare of fear would subside over time.
Even though his method of communication was unexpected, dad’s reaction was typical. He burst through the door, ran to me and asked if I was okay. I told him my side of the story, and then dad told me what happened after I left. The criminal was issued an on the spot fine for harassment, and was treated pretty awfully for the rest of the night by both uniformed officers coming in and out as well as all the detectives. Dad was also thankful of Mike being protective (which made my heart race that others noticed that Mike’s reaction was something to take note of) however Dad thought nothing of it, saying he was glad that Mike’s infamous hot-headedness had paid off in our favour, that he was so glad Mike had driven me home and that he would probably buy Mike coffee tomorrow.
I slept soundly that night knowing that we were in the all clear.
Mike had slipped me his number as he dropped me off at home, and gave me a few tips about how to be in contact without getting caught. I was also the daughter of a detective so I knew how these things worked.
I was now going for quite a few ‘walks’, which I palmed off as needing due to the stress of the peak of senior year. This excuse was only needed when dad was home however; he was out quite a bit. A lot of the time it was due to him working long hours, other times he was out networking in order to establish and maintain networks he had to make his job a lot easier.
During these walks I’d go to a payphone and call Mike. They weren’t lengthy calls, but just enough to catch up and speak to each other. On the third call we made plans, he actually wanted to take me out to a restaurant and pay for it all, as well as pick me up. A real date. No awkward dates at the movies where the loser had ‘forgotten his wallet’ and I had to pay for everything, or where I’d just sit at the skate park with Jessica whilst our boys spent the entire time on their skateboards doing tricks. I was going on the first real date of my life, and I was thrilled.
***
“That was such a smart idea.” Jessica giggled at me, as she was sitting on my bed as I dug through my wardrobe in order to find the perfect outfit.
“I know. I knew seeing dad at precinct would kill two birds with one stone. That way I’d get to find out his plans for the night, and Mike would also be informed by being able to overhear.” I brightly beamed.
Jessica and I had gone into the 27th precinct earlier today to visit our respective dads. We were let into the squad room, where my father was at his desk doing paperwork, and Lennie and Mike were a few desks away at their own making a few phone calls. Lennie, Jessica, my dad and myself then had a four way conversation, where dad revealed that tonight he was going to be spending the night across the border in Jersey where he was spending a night out with friends.
Mike, who was unable to make phone calls due to all the noise and his partner being engaged in conversation had moved onto paperwork, but was within earshot and now knew it was safe to pick me up and drop me off home as I did not have a police detective questioning father wondering where I had been.
Jessica also decided to stay the night, and would crash at my house whilst I was out. That way she could help me get ready and be there to listen to all the nitty gritty details of my date.
However I was disagreeing with what Jessica had planned for me. It was easy for her to wear whatever she wanted; she was tanned, petite and slender.
I was above average height for a female, standing at 173cm or approximately 5’7. I also had a curvy frame – curvy as in hourglass, so although I was far from chubby I still couldn’t wear exactly the same clothes that Jessica got away with. I was also pretty pale, having Irish genetics; I was scared I would blind people…
She was also choosing the most formal clothing in my wardrobe, which was definitely inappropriate for this date. She was gunning for the dress that dad had bought for me to wear to Ray Junior’s baptism. It was actually a nice dress; it was silky red, bunched up at the bottom and had a big black bow around the waist. The spaghetti straps were adjustable, it could either be very modest, or with a push up bra it could be cleavage city. I had shown Jessica this once, and she was now demanding for me to wear it.
“No! I can’t wear this. He’s taking me to a casual restaurant, I would either look super desperate, or like I’m expecting a really expensive restaurant. You do want me to continue seeing him don’t you?” I asked her, raising my eyebrow.
“…well yes. But the likelihood of that increases on the better you look. So girl, I want to see an outfit that shows a bit of leg or a bit of cleavage.” Jessica winked.
“Alright then. It’s still winter technically, so let’s go with cleavage because it’s less suspicious than leg.” I sighed, but added a small smile to the end of my sentence.
As annoying as I was pretending Jessica was being right now, she was the best friend ever. I’d be completely lost without her, and I shudder to think how I’d survive this date without her preparation, let alone know proper date etiquette or know what to wear.