Are You Locked Up in a World That's Been Planned Out for You?
Chapter four
I was in my last class of the day, which was maths. There was only about five minutes left, so the teacher had given up for the day, and we were meant to be working on problems in the textbook but our group was chatting in an excited manner.
I was part of a big group in school. Some may see it as the ‘popular group’ however no one worshipped us, and we didn’t think we were better than everyone else. Some people in our group had certain beef with others in the school; we didn’t all have the same allies and enemies.
My best friend Jessica has had a few enemies in her time at school, that’s what happens when you date around I guess. Some fizzled out, whilst some still exist to this day. Some of her enemies were in higher years before they graduated, some were in our year level and some were below us and some were from other schools. I on the other hand was generally well liked due to the fact I kept out of other people’s business and was a nice person.
Now that I was older I was starting to get tiresome of belonging to a large group though. It was really nice in freshman and sophomore year. I was never lonely and it was comforting to know I had so many friends. By junior year I was wary of it – were these all my real friends? By senior year I finally accepted the conclusion that although there’s nothing wrong with belonging to a big group, it was obvious that I’d associate with barely any of these people after high school, if any at all.
So most days I only ever hung out with Jessica if I was going to see a friend, or spend time with my dad (obviously we’re very close, more on that later) but most of my time was spent studying or on my own anyway. Unless there was a party, or the occasional group outing.
“So are you two girls coming to McDonalds with us after school tonight?” Millie, one of the girls in our group asked Jessica and I.
Jessica looked at me, and I sent her a shrug. Before I could accept Millie’s invite, Jessica spoke up.
“We’ll definitely be there. We just um, have to go to the precinct first because we both promised our dads we’d drop off stuff.” Jessica replied.
“Yeah, we shouldn’t be too long though. We’ll meet you guys there.” I quickly added, backing up Jessica’s story.
Millie only sent us a nod before she went back to flirting with her boyfriend Bryan.
“Roof session tonight?” Jessica asked me.
Ah, we hadn’t had a good roof session in a while. The roof of our school was a peaceful sanctuary that was barely touched, due to it being out of bounds during both class time and break time. In freshman year we discovered it after going for an adventure after school, and sat around talking for a while whilst we enjoyed the view from the roof, as well as how peaceful it was.
A week later was our first D&M session here. The topic of marriage was bought up. Jessica was gushing about how she wanted a beach wedding on Rockaway Beach, or Miami if the guy was rich. She gushed about every little detail, the bridesmaid’s dresses, the decorations and everything else, which I don’t remember because we were fifteen and I zoned out after a while. I remember telling her it was very unlikely I’d get married. I told her the guy would have to be amazing, and I doubt I’d find someone that amazing in my lifetime.
Whilst we first used the roof as a hangout spot, over time we discovered better places to hang out in, and the roof became a place solely to have deep discussions at. So whenever one of us asked the other to meet them at the roof, it was because they had a serious issue they needed to discuss. It was an unspoken rule that the other must drop everything else for this conversation, and to this day no one had ever turned down a roof session.
The bell rang, and Jessica told me she’d meet me on the roof, as our lockers were in different parts of the school and she said she had something she needed to do.
After I collected my large schoolbag and my books needed for the weekend, I made my way into the girl’s toilets. I reapplied my make-up and wore a little more than usual, knowing that now I was outside of school hours the teachers couldn’t tell me to wipe it off. I also rolled my skirt up at the top to make it a little shorter, and retied the bow in my braided hair before I slowly made my way up the stairwell to the roof of the school.
I roughly pushed the doors open and breathed in the air, deciding to enjoy the beginning of my weekend freedom. It was approximately sixty six hours until I needed to return to this place, and I was excited to make the most of this weekend by having an important discussion with Jessica, hanging out with friends, studying, enjoying some alone time, visiting my father at the precinct and then spending some time with him when he had some free time.
“You ready?” Jessica asked, as she stood besides me a few minutes later.
I said no reply as we made our way over to the wall where we usually sat on the ground, with our backs against said wall. It was the most comfortable position to sit in; it protected us from the harsh winds and made me feel homely as this how I always sat during our talks.
“I kind of like a guy that’s not apart of our group…” She began.
“Jessica, you know we’re both smarter than those idiots in the group. Yeah they’re our friends, but it’s almost sick that everyone has dated everyone, except for you and me. Seriously, I worked it out in my head last night that every guy and every girl have dated each other for at least one day, and I don’t think that shit is normal.” I explained to Jessica.
She then cracked a smile and began to giggle.
“Hence why I only dated two boys in our group freshman and sophomore year and moved onto boys from other schools. Then there’s you who dates a guy for two seconds and decides he’s not good enough.” Jessica giggled.
“I guess sitting here and agreeing we’ve better than most people wasn’t on your agenda. So you like a boy who isn’t in our group. What’s up?” I asked her.
“I’m not even worried about what the group will think. I’m worried about what he will think. He goes to our school, and he seems like a lone wolf besides his small group of friends. I’ve seen the way they look at our group, all they can see is detest. They think we’re all conformists because we’re in a large group, there’s no way in hell he’d ever take me seriously.” Jessica glumly stated.
I was silent for a few moments, trying to think of the perfect answer. Then, it hit me.
“Just try to talk to him. He seems shy, so if you take things slowly and build up conversations over time he’ll eventually warm up to you. If he doesn’t, he’s a dick and he’d be completely boring anyway.” I explained to her.
It was now her turn to be silent. She then let out a huge sigh, but cracked a weak smile.
“I knew you’d come up with the perfect answer. Usually I’d sit here and whine and make excuses about why I can’t do the logical thing, until all arguments are exhausted and I’m forced to man up and do the right thing. But screw it, I’m too happy it’s the weekend it’s been an awful week.” Jessica replied.
“Too true.” I smiled.
She was right. Now that Christmas break was over and mid year finals were over, we were now approaching the homestretch of the end of the year. It was time to apply for college, and teachers were pressuring us every class that ‘the end is nigh’ and we need to get everything sorted. If it was this bad now, I was shuddering to think how everything would be like after spring break.
“How’s your love life anyway? I haven’t heard anything about it since you turned down that guy at the start of the school year who you went on a few dates with. Met any new guys recently?” Jessica asked me, a sly smile on her face.
“Pfft, nope just had hot dates with me and my school books. The only guy I’ve met recently is in his thirties, a cop, and oh yeah just happens to be your dad’s partner. So no, my love life is fairly dead right now.” I replied, in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Oh yeah, dad mentioned you met Logan. I don’t think he thinks too fondly of me.” Jessica mentioned, shaking her head.
“I thought that too, about me that is. But we full on bonded about having cops as dads. Shit was awesome.” I replied.
“Well, you’re not going to start a relationship with my dad’s thirty year old cop partner by sitting here whining about your lack of love life. Well, you’re not going to start one with him at all. But the point I’m trying to make is, let’s go get some McDonalds and meet up with everyone else.” Jessica stated, going red at her small slip up as she got up from our spot and offered her hand to help me up.
I accepted it, and brushed off my clothes and pulled my rolled up skirt down a bit, sending out a giggle at what she had said.
I was part of a big group in school. Some may see it as the ‘popular group’ however no one worshipped us, and we didn’t think we were better than everyone else. Some people in our group had certain beef with others in the school; we didn’t all have the same allies and enemies.
My best friend Jessica has had a few enemies in her time at school, that’s what happens when you date around I guess. Some fizzled out, whilst some still exist to this day. Some of her enemies were in higher years before they graduated, some were in our year level and some were below us and some were from other schools. I on the other hand was generally well liked due to the fact I kept out of other people’s business and was a nice person.
Now that I was older I was starting to get tiresome of belonging to a large group though. It was really nice in freshman and sophomore year. I was never lonely and it was comforting to know I had so many friends. By junior year I was wary of it – were these all my real friends? By senior year I finally accepted the conclusion that although there’s nothing wrong with belonging to a big group, it was obvious that I’d associate with barely any of these people after high school, if any at all.
So most days I only ever hung out with Jessica if I was going to see a friend, or spend time with my dad (obviously we’re very close, more on that later) but most of my time was spent studying or on my own anyway. Unless there was a party, or the occasional group outing.
“So are you two girls coming to McDonalds with us after school tonight?” Millie, one of the girls in our group asked Jessica and I.
Jessica looked at me, and I sent her a shrug. Before I could accept Millie’s invite, Jessica spoke up.
“We’ll definitely be there. We just um, have to go to the precinct first because we both promised our dads we’d drop off stuff.” Jessica replied.
“Yeah, we shouldn’t be too long though. We’ll meet you guys there.” I quickly added, backing up Jessica’s story.
Millie only sent us a nod before she went back to flirting with her boyfriend Bryan.
“Roof session tonight?” Jessica asked me.
Ah, we hadn’t had a good roof session in a while. The roof of our school was a peaceful sanctuary that was barely touched, due to it being out of bounds during both class time and break time. In freshman year we discovered it after going for an adventure after school, and sat around talking for a while whilst we enjoyed the view from the roof, as well as how peaceful it was.
A week later was our first D&M session here. The topic of marriage was bought up. Jessica was gushing about how she wanted a beach wedding on Rockaway Beach, or Miami if the guy was rich. She gushed about every little detail, the bridesmaid’s dresses, the decorations and everything else, which I don’t remember because we were fifteen and I zoned out after a while. I remember telling her it was very unlikely I’d get married. I told her the guy would have to be amazing, and I doubt I’d find someone that amazing in my lifetime.
Whilst we first used the roof as a hangout spot, over time we discovered better places to hang out in, and the roof became a place solely to have deep discussions at. So whenever one of us asked the other to meet them at the roof, it was because they had a serious issue they needed to discuss. It was an unspoken rule that the other must drop everything else for this conversation, and to this day no one had ever turned down a roof session.
The bell rang, and Jessica told me she’d meet me on the roof, as our lockers were in different parts of the school and she said she had something she needed to do.
After I collected my large schoolbag and my books needed for the weekend, I made my way into the girl’s toilets. I reapplied my make-up and wore a little more than usual, knowing that now I was outside of school hours the teachers couldn’t tell me to wipe it off. I also rolled my skirt up at the top to make it a little shorter, and retied the bow in my braided hair before I slowly made my way up the stairwell to the roof of the school.
I roughly pushed the doors open and breathed in the air, deciding to enjoy the beginning of my weekend freedom. It was approximately sixty six hours until I needed to return to this place, and I was excited to make the most of this weekend by having an important discussion with Jessica, hanging out with friends, studying, enjoying some alone time, visiting my father at the precinct and then spending some time with him when he had some free time.
“You ready?” Jessica asked, as she stood besides me a few minutes later.
I said no reply as we made our way over to the wall where we usually sat on the ground, with our backs against said wall. It was the most comfortable position to sit in; it protected us from the harsh winds and made me feel homely as this how I always sat during our talks.
“I kind of like a guy that’s not apart of our group…” She began.
“Jessica, you know we’re both smarter than those idiots in the group. Yeah they’re our friends, but it’s almost sick that everyone has dated everyone, except for you and me. Seriously, I worked it out in my head last night that every guy and every girl have dated each other for at least one day, and I don’t think that shit is normal.” I explained to Jessica.
She then cracked a smile and began to giggle.
“Hence why I only dated two boys in our group freshman and sophomore year and moved onto boys from other schools. Then there’s you who dates a guy for two seconds and decides he’s not good enough.” Jessica giggled.
“I guess sitting here and agreeing we’ve better than most people wasn’t on your agenda. So you like a boy who isn’t in our group. What’s up?” I asked her.
“I’m not even worried about what the group will think. I’m worried about what he will think. He goes to our school, and he seems like a lone wolf besides his small group of friends. I’ve seen the way they look at our group, all they can see is detest. They think we’re all conformists because we’re in a large group, there’s no way in hell he’d ever take me seriously.” Jessica glumly stated.
I was silent for a few moments, trying to think of the perfect answer. Then, it hit me.
“Just try to talk to him. He seems shy, so if you take things slowly and build up conversations over time he’ll eventually warm up to you. If he doesn’t, he’s a dick and he’d be completely boring anyway.” I explained to her.
It was now her turn to be silent. She then let out a huge sigh, but cracked a weak smile.
“I knew you’d come up with the perfect answer. Usually I’d sit here and whine and make excuses about why I can’t do the logical thing, until all arguments are exhausted and I’m forced to man up and do the right thing. But screw it, I’m too happy it’s the weekend it’s been an awful week.” Jessica replied.
“Too true.” I smiled.
She was right. Now that Christmas break was over and mid year finals were over, we were now approaching the homestretch of the end of the year. It was time to apply for college, and teachers were pressuring us every class that ‘the end is nigh’ and we need to get everything sorted. If it was this bad now, I was shuddering to think how everything would be like after spring break.
“How’s your love life anyway? I haven’t heard anything about it since you turned down that guy at the start of the school year who you went on a few dates with. Met any new guys recently?” Jessica asked me, a sly smile on her face.
“Pfft, nope just had hot dates with me and my school books. The only guy I’ve met recently is in his thirties, a cop, and oh yeah just happens to be your dad’s partner. So no, my love life is fairly dead right now.” I replied, in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Oh yeah, dad mentioned you met Logan. I don’t think he thinks too fondly of me.” Jessica mentioned, shaking her head.
“I thought that too, about me that is. But we full on bonded about having cops as dads. Shit was awesome.” I replied.
“Well, you’re not going to start a relationship with my dad’s thirty year old cop partner by sitting here whining about your lack of love life. Well, you’re not going to start one with him at all. But the point I’m trying to make is, let’s go get some McDonalds and meet up with everyone else.” Jessica stated, going red at her small slip up as she got up from our spot and offered her hand to help me up.
I accepted it, and brushed off my clothes and pulled my rolled up skirt down a bit, sending out a giggle at what she had said.