When We Stand Together

"Where have you been?" Michelle blurts out as soon as you are threw the door."I've been trying to call you"

"Sorry, things have been pretty crazy"

"How was it meeting Jeremy's mom after all these years?" She asks and you feel your stomach tightening.

"It was nice and I managed to steal her famous lemon and honey chicken recipe"

You watch silently as Michelle spoons instant coffee into two mugs, grabbing the individual packets of sugar you had both been swiping from the coffee shop down the street.

"It sounds like you had a great time. Except from that night you called me and I thought maybe someone had died"

You chew nervously on your bottom lip. You hadn't told Michelle the real reason why you were so upset and you figured that she would have just taken your word for it, that you and Jeremy had a stupid row.

"You know, I really didn't believe the whole having a fight story, Susie. What's really going on with you?"

You sigh and you can feel the tears starting to form in your eyes.

"Jeremy's in hospital" You say, swallowing the lump in your throat.

Michelle is waiting patiently for you to explain and you don't think you can physically say the words without crying. You hadn't been able to so far and putting it to the test wasn't an option, or at least it hadn't been until now.

"Jeremy's got grade three colon cancer." You look up at Michelle and you can barely see her through the forming tears.

"Susie, I'm so sorry. I had no idea" She says, shocked."When did you find out?"

"When we were at his mom's. Jeremy didn't tell anyone. He wasn't even going to have the treatment to make him better"

"Did he say why?" Michelle asks and she is equally as shocked as you had been when you found out.

"He didn't want anyone to see him sick" You clear you throat as Michelle pulls you into a hug."I've been so worried"

"I guess you talked him 'round to having the treatment"

"Valerie and I tried, but I think it was Lee who really got under his skin." You reply honestly and you've never been so thankful that Jeremy seemed to listen to him above everyone else."He was so scared. He's still scared"

Trying to find a parking space in the allocated visiting hours wasn't easy and every time you spotted a free space, some jackass quickly filled it. Eventually, you had found one in the second half of the parking lot and it was an inconvenience because it was further away from the entrance. You had made a note to be there early when it came to taking Jeremy home. Valerie had called you after your emotional episode with Michelle and she had known right away that you had been crying. You knew by the way she cleared her throat more than usual, she had also been crying.

You follow the group of visitors into the ward and you feel out of place because you haven't brought big bunches of flowers or teddy bears and inflatable balloons, but you know that's not Jeremy's thing. He had already warned you about doing the whole "presents in hospital thing" As much as he would appreciate the gesture, it would make him feel worse and you didn't want to upset him anymore. You knew how upsetting it could be for someone to be in hospital and also undergo a major operation and you didn't want to upset him by turning up like you had just been to the carnival.

Jeremy is asleep, propped up in bed with an arm tucked behind his head and you feel guilty about waking him. He looks so peaceful, but his discomfort from the operation is noticeable in the creases on his forehead. He stirs from sleep as you remove your coat and open the cabinet next to his bed, pulling out dirty laundry and replacing it with fresh clean clothes.

"Well, someone looks stoned" You tease, grinning.

He smiles lazily back at you and winces as he moves, sitting up.

"I feel it, mama. Do you want to take me for a walk?"

"Are you allowed to go for a walk?" You ask.

"Sure. I'm allowed to leave the ward as long as I'm with someone. I'm thinking some fresh air and some decent coffee"

You agree and you watch him as he manoeuvres himself out of the bed. He's wearing a t-shirt and some long-shorts that just sit below the knee and it's a massive improvement from the hospital gown. You hand him his sunglasses and ball-cap from the cabinet.

"Do you need a wheelchair?" You ask as you loop your arm in his.

"No, I'm okay. Some gentle exercise is good for me" He says with a wink.

"That's good, because I don't think I could drag you up and down the corridors."

"Thanks" he chuckles."Have you got my cigarettes?"

"You know I have"

Jeremy flashes you a cheeky grin as you walk out of the ward at a slow pace. It's nice to be able to just hold his hand as you walk down the corridor, but you know that the next time you walk down this corridor you won't have Jeremy.

"How's the food?" You ask and you can't help but smile as he wraps his arm around your waist.

"It's alright" he replies."It's better than what we got served in high school"

"Anything would be better than what we ate in high school"

It's a nice afternoon, mild and you try your best not to grab Jeremy and wrap him up in cotton wool. Sighing and wincing, he lowers himself down onto the stone bench and holds out his hand to you to sit down next to him. You hand him his cigarettes and you watch him as he takes a deep inhale, his first since being admitted for surgery.

"You would think I would want to stay away from these since the diagnosis" Jeremy says out loud and exhales a plume of smoke, looking at the cigarette.

"Do you want to quit?" You ask, brushing back the hair that the wind is blowing into your face.

He shrugs his shoulders.

"I really don't know,mama. Beryl's already been giving me a hard time over it" He licks his lips and takes another drag and you can't help but watch the way his lips form around the cigarette perfectly.

"You know I'll support you whatever decision you make, Jer. If you want to quit, that's fine and if you don't, that's fine too"

Jeremy leans over and kisses you on the lips, a chaste peck and his usually soft lips are a little dry.

"I don't know why you haven't dumped my ass" he says.

"Because I love you, that's why"

"I think you need to show me exactly how much you love me" he says, snaking his hand up to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss.

You want to run your fingers through his hair, but the ball-cap is in the way and the risk of taking it off might get him noticed and you know Jeremy doesn't want the rest of the world to know about his illness. Jeremy's hand squeezes up your thigh and you moan into his mouth, biting on his lip as he smiles in the kiss.

"God, you drive me nuts, Susie" He says, breathlessly.

"I'm glad" You wink "Come on, hot shot. You're buying the coffee"

Jeremy holds your hand across the table, running his thumb back and forth over your knuckles. He's taken off his sunglasses over and you are both more than relieved that nobody is paying any attention to either of you.

"Susie, there's something I've been meaning to ask you." Jeremy says suddenly."Actually, I've been meaning to ask you for a while, but getting this diagnosis kind of.."

"Made you have second thoughts?"

"No. No, it's not that. I just didn't think it was the right time, but I've been thinking about it the last couple of days." He says, glancing up at you and licking his lips nervously.

"Thinking about what?"

"I..uh..I've been wanting to ask you how you would feel if..maybe..if maybe we thought about getting a place together" He trails off quietly.

You don't know what to say.

"Forget it. "Jeremy says, brushing it off quickly."It was a stupid idea"

You grab his hand and smile.

"Jeremy, I think that's a perfect idea."

"You do?" He asks, surprised, grinning."You really want to set up home together? You mean that?"

"Of course I do" You reply.

"Great." He smiles and looks like the cat that's got the cream."You really want to do this?"

"Yes."

Your own smile is as equally as broad as Jeremy's and you can't ignore the flutter in your stomach.

"Jer, I think we should wait until you're better. What do you think?"

He nods, still smiling.

"I wish I had asked you sooner instead of putting it off. I thought maybe you wouldn't want to."

"You obviously don't know me very well" You tease."We better head back upstairs or they will think I've kidnapped you"

"You can kidnap me if you want to, you know" He replies, winking.

"There's a difference between kidnapping and holding you for ransom and having you as my sex slave" You reply and get up from the table.

Jeremy looks at you with an amused, bewildered look on his face and you can't help but giggle. He shakes his head, grinning.

"You're some woman do you know that?"

"Of course I do. Come on, you've got time for another cigarette"