When We Stand Together

"Do I really have to go?" Jeremy whines from his make-shift bed on the sofa.

For the last three days he had been so under the weather it exhausted him to move and you didn't have the heart to force him to do anything that was uncomfortable.

"You know you need to go, baby" You say, running your fingers through his hair."I know you feel ill all the time, but the medicine will make you better in the long run"

"I know, I know" he replies, closing his eyes as you massage his scalp with your fingertips."You don't have to take me to the hospital, you know."

"I know, but I want to. I don't want you going through this by yourself"

"Mama, I'm okay." He gives your hand a light squeeze and you notice his usually powerful grip is weaker than usual.

"Okay, so if I were to let you go to the hospital all by yourself, what am I supposed to do?" You ask, teasingly.

"Go shopping. Have lunch with your girlfriends. Just something that has nothing to do with me" He twists around to look up at you sitting on the armrest."You need some you time. Please, mama?"

"And if I did go shopping and have lunch, how would you get to the hospital?"

"I'll get a cab"

You physically and verbally groan out loud.

"Jer, we've talked about this." You say, finally losing your patience.

"Mama, you're exhausted. You're always looking after me, taking me to treatment and sitting with me with me while I puke. Baby, you need some you time. Please, do this for me"

You can't take anymore of his puppy dog eyes and reluctantly and against your better judgement, you agree to letting him get a cab to treatment and on the condition you are waiting for him to come home.

"Okay, just promise me you'll let me look after you when you come back?"

You giggle as Jeremy pulls you over the arm of the sofa until you are square in his lap. He kisses you and you kiss him back.

"You got yourself a deal, mama"

Somehow you had managed to convince Michelle to join you for an afternoon of shopping and lunch, and in all fairness, she didn't take much persuasion. Michelle has pulled you into a lingerie store that doubles as a sex-shop and your face flushes at the sight of absolutely everything. You aren't a prude, but some of the items on offer are certainly giving you food for thought.

"What do you think?" Michelle asks, grinning and holding up a red and black lacy underwear set that has a layer or fine mesh over the material.

"It's very...provocative" You manage to say.

"It's sexy, isn't it?"

"I guess so, yes." You reply and continue browsing.

"So, how's things with you and Jeremy? I wanted to ask before, but I didn't know how to bring it up. No time like the present, right?"

You look through a rack of elegantly beautiful bra and pants sets and then you look at the price tags. Not even one of them are in your price range and at least not for every day use.

"Things are good considering we're at the hospital twice a week for five hours each time" You reply.

"That's got to be tough. How are you dealing with it?"

"It has it's moments, but we've just got to get on with it." You answer, making a face at the unnatural size of a sex toy.

"Tell me on the way to lunch. My treat" Michelle says and grabs you by the arm, leading you out of the shop.

Michelle takes you to a busy coffee shop where they serve rustic bar lunches and home-cooked meals. The food looks and smells fantastic and suddenly you feel starving. The serving staff are wonderful and you finally decide what to have and over the course of lunch, you confide your fears and troubles in Michelle.

"I'm scared of losing him,Michelle" You finally say."Even though he's getting the treatment, I'm still scared that it doesn't work or that he changes his mind because it makes him ill."

"You aren't going to lose him, Susie" She reaches over and gives your hand a reassuring squeeze and it feels nice to have someone else tell you it."He's going to get better and you two are going to get married and live in a house on tropical beach."

You both giggle at the exaggerated fairytale, but it does sound nice. It's appealing and the only thing missing is the two kids you would both be expected to run after all day long. Michelle says something and it shakes your thoughts of marriage and kids and gorgeous beaches.

"What?" You ask apologetically.

"I asked you how were things in the bedroom department."

"Sorry, I kind of zoned out there." You apologise and then answer her question."Not great. This treatment affects things and it's getting to him more than I thought it would"

"Like what?" Your friend asks and you feel bad for telling someone, anyone about his problem.

"Jeremy's having problems getting hard" You say with a sigh"And when he does, he doesn't know if it's going to last more than five seconds"

"When was the last time you two had sex?" She asks, her lips pursed together and you know she's thinking, probably scheming.

"Over a week ago." You reply, quietly, glancing around the cafe just in case someone's overheard your private conversation.

"A friend of mine and her hubby were having a similar problem and she went online and looked up some stuff. You know, bought kinky underwear, sex toys and a bunch of other stuff." She laughs as she talks, doing her best to make the whole topic sound natural."They said it really spiced things up. Of course, he's got to get a boner and keep it"

You pull out your cell and tap out a message to Jeremy, telling him you miss him and you hope that the treatment is easier on him than it has been any other time, but you know it won't be.

"I've tried" You whisper."I've tried and it starts to work and then it doesn't."

"Maybe you two should try things the old fashioned way, buy some dirty magazines and some dirty movies. Hey, it might work."

"You're right" You say in defeat."I guess it's worth a try. God knows it might work"

The first thing you notice in the hallway is Jeremy's jacket abruptly left on the floor and your blood suddenly turns cold. You would have been home sooner if you hadn't gotten stuck in traffic.

"Jer?" You call out and check the kitchen, but he isn't there."Jeremy?"

A noise in the bathroom pulls you there and you breathe a sigh of relief to see Jeremy with his head in the toilet his arms hugging the bowl.
He waves you away and you give him a few minutes of privacy. You are waiting patiently outside the bathroom door and when the toilet flushes, it's a good sign.

He emerges, sweaty-faced and looking like he's going to pass out and you hug him tight.

"Hey, what's that for?" He asks, wrapping his arms around you waist and placing a solitary kiss on your neck."Not that I'm complaining or anything"

Your grip around him tightens.

"Susie, what's wrong, mama?" He asks softly.

"I'm just worried and scared" You whisper.

"About what?"

You feel him stroking your back and running his fingers through your hair,and you relax into him, the way your face is buried in the crook of his neck.

"I'm scared of losing you"

"Mama," Jeremy cups your face in his hands and forces you to look at him."I'm not going anywhere."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise" he says, kissing you."I'm not going anywhere."