When We Stand Together

"Let's go for lunch or something" Jeremy suggests as you hold onto his arm, more for his benefit than yours.

"Sounds good. Where do you want to go?"

Jeremy had woken up this morning feeling absolutely horrible, but he still insisted on going out for the day. You had been cautious and in the end, you gave up and held onto him as he stopped and started, feeling dizzy now and again or queasy.

Even when you suggested he sit down for a minute, he wouldn't.

"How about that new Thai place that's opened up?"

"Sounds good. Are you sure you want to walk all that way?" You ask, concern boiling.

"I'm fine. I need the exercise"

"You'll tell me if it's too much won't you?" You clarify.

"Course I will."

You and Jeremy continue to walk at an easy and leisurely pace, stopping to browse in the windows and chat like lovestruck teenagers, stopping briefly for a cheeky kiss.

"Why were you so insistent on coming down here anyway?" You ask curiously as Jeremy stops for another breather.

"Well, we needed to come down here"

"I don't need anything from down here" You reply with a smile as Jeremy wraps his arm around your waist.

"You need a ring, don't you?"

"Are you serious?" You ask in disbelief."You're really serious, aren't you?"

"Course I am. You need a ring and I need to buy you one."

"You don't need to buy me anything" You watch him as he adjusts his ball cap and takes off his shades for a second.

"Susie, I want to do this right. I want to buy you a ring and I wanted to do the whole romantic gesture with a nice dinner, somewhere nice"

"Jer" You say softly "You don't need to do anything over the top and I think last night's proposal was really romantic"

"Mama, I want to so be quiet and let me, okay?"

For the sake of an argument in the middle of a street, you give in and allow him to do what he feels he needs to do, even though it isn't necessary. You and Jeremy walk down busy streets and he continues to walk on past the reasonably priced and cheaper jewellery stores. Eventually, you and Jeremy stop in front of a private store, one you know to be the most authentic and expensive in the city.

Open mouthed, you look at Jeremy and you can see his eyes smiling through the dark sunglasses.

"Jer?"

"Come on. I've seen a few things you might like, so come on" he says with a smile.

He takes you by the hand and leads you into the shop. Waist high glass cases of beautiful rings and bracelets, earrings and necklaces, watches and pocket watches of every style and design. Jeremy pulls you to one end of the display and he starts pointing out lavish engagement rings, asking the clerk to take them out and let you try them on. As if he's reading you mind, Jeremy works his way through four of the cases and points to a white gold ring with a huge centre diamond and smaller stones down the side. It's a gorgeous ring, but you can't even begin to imagine the price tag on it.

"She'll try it on"

You are about to protest when the clerk hands Jeremy the ring and he slides it onto your finger and it's a perfect fit.

"Do you like it?" He asks softly.

"Yes, it's really beautiful, but-"

"We'll take it" He says to the clerk and slides it back off your finger so he can put it in a box and wrap it.

When the clerk has turned away, you pull Jeremy out of earshot.

"Jer, it's too much"

"It doesn't matter how much it is. It's perfect and you like it, so you're getting it" He answers with a smile."You need a ring"

"A simple, cheap ring would do"

"I'm buying it, so you really don't get to have a say in it" He winks at you and hands over his credit card.

You shake your head at him and then you both leave, wearing your engagement ring and heading for the direction of the new Thai restaurant.

Over dinner, you and Jeremy talk like any other couple who are out for lunch and it's nice to see him so relaxed and care free. Having this unplanned trip out has really done him some good, but halfway through lunch you can see the exhaustion creeping into his eyes and the way fidgets to stay awake.

Reaching for his hand, you give it a tight squeeze.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" He says with a wary smile
that isn't convincing."Just tired."

"Okay. Let's go"

"We haven't finished, mama. I'm okay. If I feel any worse I'll tell you, okay?" He gives your hand a squeeze in return and you nod, agreeing to his terms.

It's nice, just sitting and enjoying each other's company over some good food and a pleasant atmosphere, something you both hadn't done since Jeremy's diagnosis. You can tell he's wanting to make it last for as long as possible, but after another twenty minutes of picking at his food, you make the decision to go home and for once, which surprises you, he doesn't argue.

On the way home in the back of a cab, Jeremy had rested his head on your shoulder and had fallen into a light sleep, but woke up immediately when the taxi came to a halt. With your arm around his waist and vice versa, you guide him inside and he feels heavier like a dead weight and he groans as you drop him onto the sofa, pulling off his shoes and coat. He throws the ball cap and sunglasses he's so famous for outside of acting onto the coffee table and you grab him his medication, but by the time you come back, he's fast asleep.

You wrap your cardigan around yourself as you watch the smoke from your cigarette swirl in the cool nights air and you feel a presence behind you, which startles you. It's been a long day and you knew that today's escapades would be too much for Jeremy, but he insisted regardless and is now quite literally passed out on the sofa.

"Is everything okay, Susie?"

"Yes, Val. Sorry, I just needed some air." You reply, crushing out the half smoked cigarette into the glass ashtray."I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon."

"My feet are killing me. I'm getting too old for this running around"

"Where were you anyway?" You ask with a smile.

"I was out getting a few things. Come on and I'll show you"

Shaking your head at her sudden burst of excitement and energy, you follow her inside where she's left two large bundles of bridal and wedding magazines on the coffee table.

"A few things?" You ask in disbelief and the gesture truly warms your heart. "Thank you. Thank you so much"

"You're welcome, dear and don't worry. I won't tell Jeremy if and when we get your dress"

"We were talking earlier and we've decided that we want to wait until he's better to do this." You explain, pulling her into a hug."We both want the day to be perfect"

"And it will be"

****

The next few days are spent in a silent gloom, despite the happiness of being engaged to the man of your wildest dreams. The uncertainty of Jeremy's condition hung over everyone's head like a dark cloud and you noticed that Jeremy was speaking to his dad more, which Valerie noticed and was growing concerned over. She, like you, feared the worst, but you both maintained that you would deal with everything together. It destroyed Valerie to leave the day after the test results because she wanted to be there for her son and suddenly she couldn't. Like he always did, Jeremy reassured her that everything would be fine and he as soon as he felt a bit better, you would take a trip out there. But that night, Jeremy was just as restless and you backed off and gave him space, some alone time that he suddenly craved like an addict. You prayed. You prayed to a God that you weren't sure you truly believed in to make him well again and you prayed and hoped that he would be okay. You just hoped that this God was listening.