When We Stand Together

Subconsciously, Jeremy’s leg bounces up and down to a silent rhythm and his hands twist nervously together as he watches the comings and goings of the waiting room behind dark sunglasses. You reach over and touch his hand and he gives you a nervous, lopsided smile and to anyone else, it would be taken as genuine, but you know the truth. He’s scared of hearing what he doesn’t want to hear and negativity in these circumstances always outweigh the positive.

"It’s going to be okay" You say, giving his hand a tight squeeze.

He keeps hold of your hand and you can feel the tension that’s coiled up like a spring inside him.

"What if it’s not?"

"Then we will deal with this." You say and you mean it."Together. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. Got it?"

Jeremy nods silently and you can feel him tensing every time a doctor or a nurse calls in another patient. It’s bad enough sitting and hearing the news, watching expressions of joy and devastation to actually being told the life changing news.

You can’t imagine how it felt for Jeremy being told that he had cancer or how it poisoned his mind since. Finding out the way you did broke your heart, but you understood that he was putting everyone else first before himself and you knew how caring he was being by wanting to relocate to his cabin. The thought of him being out there alone still haunts you to this day, imagining what state he would be in if he were given his own way and allowed to just die out there alone. Time seems to stand still and a nauseating feeling rises in your gut as your name is called out, prearranged like before.

"Are you ready?" You ask softly, taking Jeremy’s hand as you pull him to his feet.

"Guess I have to be"

"Come on. I’m with you every step of the way" You give his hand a comforting squeeze as you follow the doctor down the corridor and into his office.

Jeremy instantly starts his leg bouncing and fiddles with his sunglasses, avoiding eye contact as he answers the routine health questions. You listen carefully to every question and every answer, adding what information Jeremy has forgotten or misplaced. You can feel your heart hammering away in your chest, your mouth suddenly dry and it feels like you’ve been chewing on a piece of sandpaper.

"Jeremy, you will be pleased to know that there are no more cancerous cells in your body. You’re all clear" The doctor says.

Jeremy buries his face in his hands as he let’s out a steady breath and you could weep with joy, smiling at him through your tears. It feels as if things are suddenly going right.

"You’re serious, right?" Jeremy asks.

"Absolutely" The doctor answers."I will recommend a check-up in three months and then one after six months and then every three years"

"Thank you so much" You say, smiling bright. "Thank you"

"I won’t keep you any longer. Congratulations"

You are both practically floating on air as you leave the office, both excited and over the moon of the results as you travel down the corridors. Every so often Jeremy stops you and kisses you, the warmth suddenly returning in him and it just makes you smile all the more. Once you are outside the foyer, heading to the car park, he stops you again and wraps his arms around you and you accidentally knock off his cap.

"I love you so much, mama" He says with a wide grin.

"I love you too"

"No, I really love you and I can’t wait to marry you. Thank you for putting up with me" He says softly and pulls you in for a very tender, but deep kiss.

"Let’s get you home and we can call your mom and dad" You say and you feel a little guilty for pulling away, but people are starting to stare and click their tongues in disapproval.

"Mom’s going to scream down the phone"

"Yes. Yes, she is" You beam and look your arm through his as you walk back to the car and everything that had gone wrong is suddenly righted.

As expected, Valerie and Lee’s reactions to the fantastic piece of good news was earth-shattering. If Valerie screamed and cried any louder there probably would have been an earthquake.

Overcome by their emotions, Jeremy hands up the phone and joins you on the sofa.

"Did she scream down the phone?"

"Didn’t you hear her?" He replies with a chuckle."At least it’s over and we can get back to normal"

"What’s normal?"

Jeremy laughs and turns to you with a smile, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and you lay your head against his chest and you wrap your arm around his waist. You breathe in his smell and it always comforts you, regardless of the situation or circumstances.

"Do you still want to marry me?"

"Of course I do" You reply with a smile, burying your face into his t-shirt."There’s nothing I want more"

"I love you, mama"

"I love you too" You sit up a little and kiss him softly, stroking his face gently with your fingertips."I’ve always loved you"

****

Michelle is surprised to see you first thing Tuesday morning and she pulls you into a hug as you hand over the take-out cup of coffee. She looks well and you feel guilty for not checking on her so much.

"Susie, you look great!" She says with a broad smile."How’s things?"

"I’ve been meaning to pop in, but things have been crazy"

"Don’t worry about it. How’s Jeremy doing?" She asks and ushers you into the office in back.

"He’s doing great. Actually, we had an appointment at the hospital yesterday and we got some good news. He’s all clear."

"That’s fantastic!" She practically screams."That’s really great."

"And…" You hold out your left hand."We’re going to get married"

"Congratulations!"

"I still can’t believe it" You say and it hadn’t been the first time you had physically pinched yourself.

"Well, you better start believing it. We have a wedding to organise"

"We haven’t talked about when yet." You laugh as Michelle finally let’s go of you. "But we will soon"

"Great."

"I always came to tell you that
tomorrow I’ll be taking appointments again. Now that Jeremy’s better, he’s insisting that I go back to work” You say and you are actually quite excited about returning.

"It will be good to get some company again. Just don’t overload yourself with work." She warns you gently and it’s only because she cares.

"I won’t. I’ll be on my best behaviour. I’ll see you tomorrow”

******

As normal as it sounded, returning to work for the first time in months was physically and mentally draining. By the end of your second afternoon at the studio, you found yourself being completely overwhelmed by the amount of photography bookings that were filling up your diary. You didn’t realise how much you missed working until you were away from it
and then returning to it.

You are preparing dinner when your cell dances over the table and you are surprised to hear anything because of Jeremy’s snoring. Even though he hadn’t had treatment for a few days, he was still suffering from the physical symptoms. It would take a while for him to feel relatively normal again and you knew when he ached and felt sick, he was wishing it was over and soon it would be.

You look at the caller display.

"Hi, Michelle"

"Susie, thank God" She says with relief thick in her voice.

"What’s wrong?"

"Have you been on the internet lately?" She asks and then pauses."There’s some gossip in the media about Jeremy"

"Oh, the whole is he gay or straight?"

You aren’t at all surprised because you’ve heard the rumours and Jeremy told you that there was no truth in them whatsoever, but still, anything is possible in today’s world.

"No. There’s a picture….of you two together outside the hospital."

"What?" You ask, stunned."You’re serious?"

"I’m very serious, Susie. There’s more. In the article, the journalist commented on Jeremy’s appearance and according to the source, he has been ill with cancer."