Remember Us Even Though You're Gone

The doctor told us she didn’t have much time left to live. At that time we had decided to make the most of it and let her live life to the fullest. Of course we were sad and somewhat devastated; who wouldn’t be if their daughter died at too young an age? Elizabeth was barely eight when she died. My little girl is gone, and she’s never coming back. At least we know her last days were ones she’d never forget.

At the age of five, Elizabeth was diagnosed with Leukemia. It was a horrible day when me and my wife, Jennifer, found out. Jen locked herself in our room, and refused to come out. I didn’t blame her , Elizabeth was our little miracle. Jennifer was told a year before Elizabeth was born, that she couldn’t have any children. Saddened by this Jen wanted to give up, but we ended up trying anyways. After that Jen got pregnant with Lizzie; she’s our miracle baby, and now we are going to lose her just like that. A week later Jen finally came out of the room with a determined look on her face.

“I want her to have the best years of her life so she has only good memories when she d-dies,”she had told me, and I agreed.

After that day, that was what we did. Instead of birthdays we did birthday weeks.We started this idea with Lizzie's sixth birthday. We bought a present for each day of the week, giving her seven presents. On the first day we got her a cute, giant, stuffed pony. loving the present so much, lizzie wanted to spend the whole day at home to play with it. We let her do just that, for hours she played princess, cowboys, and anything else she could think of. It made us smile and laugh at the joy she had. Jen made Lizzies favorite food: spaghetti and garlic bread. Throughout the week, we did anything she wanted. On the final day, we went to Chuck E. Cheese. Lizzie enjoyed going there, but we had finally noticed the Leukemia; it was draining her energy. Chemo was starting soon, but that would end up draining her more. Our final present for her was a giant Barbie dream house. Squealing with delight, Lizzie played with it immediately.

Her birthday was a fun time, but all fun has to end sometime. January 13th was Lizzie's first day of chemo. That day made everything more real for Jen and me. Everyday was torture for us to watch. Slowly, each day she lost more and more energy. As the therapy went on, Lizzie lost her hair and confidence. Her hair was her favorite attribute and now she's sad it's gone. Her hair loss made her rarely want to go anywhere now.

It's been a year and a half since Lizzie was diagnosed with Leukemia and a year since her sixth birthday. Now, it was her 7th birthday week. Being exhausted more and more, made Lizzie not want to go anywhere. We again bought her seven gifts, one for each day of the week, but she rarely played with them. She seemed so miserable, and our hearts broke as we watched her. Jen and I had to be strong for her though. Still heartbroken over her hair, we took Lizzie to a wig store as one of her presents. True, it wasn't the same, but she still enjoyed picking out some to wear. We shopped around the store for what seemed like hours. Jen and I tried on some wigs too, at her request.She ended up picking out three blonde wigs she liked the most. She had a blast, laughing at us, as we took pictures and goofed off the rest of the time. Jen started a giant, pink scrapbook with her. They would sit in her room and work on it once a week. This was Lizzie's favorite part of the week.

Another year passed, and Lizzie grew weaker.We knew she wasn't going to be with us much longer. We grew sadder, but we still tried to stay strong. As she was turning eight she was happy, but her excitement was consumed by drowsiness and nausea.She didn't want any of her favorite foods, her appetite gone. Comfort was hard to find for the simplest touch could bruise her. Day by day, it was obviously wearing her out. We wanted to make this birthday week extra special. She needed it as a 'pick-me-up. The problem was we couldn't decide what to do. Whenever we tried to ask her, she answered with a "nothing" each time. Jen and I were running out of ideas, but this week had to be special. I wanted to see that beautiful smile of hers that could light up a room. Jen had decided her present would be that the two of them could decorate the scrapbook once everyday of the week instead of once a week.That, put a small smile on her face . They took fashion pictures for the book and just enjoyed themselves. I on the other hand had still been looking for the perfect present. Of course, I got her a few small things: Barbie dolls, another wig, and a few books. However, I needed to get her something that'd make her feel all happy inside. Then it hit me. I remembered when she was five we had taken her to a beach and she loved it so much. I decided then that would be her present. This weekend we'd take a trip to there, and play in the and or swim some. The next day, I went out while Jen and Lizzie were sleeping, and bought Lizzie's last piece of her present: a bathing suit, toys to play in the sand with, and a picture of the beach we were going to. I quickly got home and wrapped her presents, placing them neatly on the table in front of her seat. An hour or so later, they came down together . I stood by the table, smiling at Lizzie when she walked over.

"Happy Birthday!" I said, and pointed to the presents.

Her small, frail arms wrapped around me in a hug, and I hugged her back. I helped her onto her chair, then stood back with Jen to watch. Tearing away all the wrapping paper, Lizzie looked at the present confused, Jen gave me the same look, but I just continued to smile.

Handing the picture to lizzie, I asked, "Guess where we're going?''

Lizzie's eyes widened in shock, then she smiled that wonderful smile I've been missing. She scrambled off her chair to give me another hug.

"Alright," I smiled, "go get ready," I told her.

Nodding eagerly, she grabbed her swimsuit and hiked up the stairs to her room.

I turned to Jen, smiling at her.

"When did you do all of this?" she asked, smiling right back, wrapping her arms around my waist.

I held her close, giving her a quick peck on the lips. "I thought of it yesterday, then got everything this morning while the two of you slept. Now let's go get ready," I said walking with her up the stairs.

"Hurry up Daddy!" Lizzie yelled, yanking on my arm. I chuckled amused by the sudden gush of energy she had.

I finished packing the car and got us all piled in to the small car. The drive there was pleasant as Jen and Lizzie sang along with Maroon 5. I just smiled and enjoyed the show they were putting on. When we reached our destination, not many people were there so finding a spot was easy. We lay out our towels and put up our umbrellas, as Lizzie got covered in sand, rolling around in it. She started on a sandcastle but wanted it to be really big, so she enlisted our help. We got it to a height of two and half feet, but we didn't want to push our luck with it and Lizzie got bored. We took a picture with it, then headed to the water. Already in her floaty, Lizzie ventured out with Jen part way in the water as I followed. The rest of our day consisted of swimming, splashing, and enjoying the family time. As the sun began to set and the air became chilly, we made our way out of the water to enjoy the picnic dinner Lizzie and Jen made. We dried off, then sat down eating ham and cheese subs with fruit salads on the side. This day was and still is one of my most cherished memories. Especially at the end of the day when Lizzie lay half asleep in my arms as I carried her to bed. She clutched my shirt while I lie her down and looked up with me with her sparkling, tired eyes, then she hugged me tight saying, "Thank you daddy, that was the best birthday ever. I want to go there on my next birthday and the next …"mumbling the rest as she slowly fell asleep. I tucked her in and left the room after that, my smile staying as I went to my own bed to sleep.

Unfortunately, we never did go back to the beach, nor did she have another birthday. Everything went down hill after that day. Slowly she got to her weakest point. She wouldn't eat much of anything, and she wouldn't even get out of bed. Her smile disappeared again along with her want to play or even to wear her wigs. We knew the inevitable was coming, but it still hit us hard. We cried for days, the only thing we were grateful for was that her death was one of peace, she was no longer in any pain; she was free and happy. Even with these happy thoughts, Jen and I could barely operate simple tasks around the house, knowing she was gone.

Her funeral was weeks later. We decided on an open casket to show off our lovely little girl. Friends, family, acquaintances, anyone who knew her and loved her came to the funeral. Our only request was that the quests wore a light pink, purple or blue; for, those had been her favorite colors. Almost everyone at the funeral had something to say about Lizzie. The speeches all memories of how she had touched their hearts in different ways. It soon was Jen's turn then mine would be next. Her speech was long, elegant, and thoughtful. The speech touched everyone's heart and told everyone who Lizzie really was. As she finished her speech, I slowly made my way over, paper in hand shaking. Jen walked down the three small steps and we shared a look as we passed one another. I stood in front of everyone and cleared my throat.

"Thank you for that Jen, that was a beautiful speech." I smiled at her, then returned my gaze to everyone else. "Unlike my wife's long, beautiful speech, mine is short and to the point," I chuckled with a few others and gained a smirk from Jen. "Anyways, we all know loving and kind-hearted Lizzie was. We also know how much of a free-spirit she had been and always will be. Right now, up there Lizzie is happy, pain-free, and lively as ever, watching over her mommy and daddy. Lizzie if your listening "I love you." I finished my speech and returned to my seat next to Jen. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight as I dwelled on all the old, happy memories again. We soon made our way to the cemetery, and unlike in all the movies it was a bright and sunny day just the way Lizzie would like it. We took a look at Lizzie one last time, she wore her favorite blonde wig, that held tight curls, her bright pink flowery, flowing dress, and her giant, pink scrapbook in her hands. We wanted her to be buried with the scrapbook so she had all our fun memories with her forever. The coffin was lowered into the ground, and the hole was filled. Her headstone became the only thing we saw, besides dirt and flowers. We visited her everyday, bringing her flowers or cards with us, and each time we visited her grave, we read her headstone and smiled knowing she was in a better place.

It read: