My Favourite Pair of Sneakers

After I told Ethan and Cody about what was going on, we told mom and dad. They were really upset and concerned so they decided that the best thing for me would be to go see a therapist every week. So I went earlier this week by myself. Ethan offered to go with me, but… Honestly, I declined because I’d rather get to know the doctor first before I trust him enough to show him such a big important part of my life.

Anyway, the session was pretty boring, but he did give me some advice that was actually really helpful. He said I should listen to music as often as possible because it “keeps my brain occupied” and “emotionally sound and controlled.” Basically, music can help me feel better.

The music drowns out the voices, but they come back with a vengeance when nothing is playing…

More importantly, my and Ethan’s one month anniversary is tomorrow! I am so excited, but it’s hard to believe we’ve already been together so long. He’s so wonderful and I just keep falling and falling for him. I know I have strong feelings for him, but I don’t know what to call them. When I see him, my heart races, my pulse quickens, and my stomach fills with butterflies. I always want to be near him; if we were magnets, he’d be the north pole and I’d be the south pole. It’s like a strong gravitational pull that I just can’t resist.

Is it love?

Sometimes I wonder why he’s still with me. Someone as sweet, as caring… as all around wonderful as Ethan deserves so much more than anything I can give him. Occasionally, I think about it too much, and I start to consider the possibility that he’s just using me. But I know that he would never do that, especially to me. I grew up with him and he is Cody’s best friend. Ethan is too good natured and big hearted to use me like that anyway.

~~~~~

Since it was the eve of such an important day, I had Cody drive me to the mall and help me pick out a gift for Ethan. I love spending time with Cody – he’s the best brother anyone could ever ask for and more. He supports me so much and he really cares about me. I love him to death.

It had been a few hours and nothing had really stood out to me, and Cody was just about ready to just give up and go home. But then something caught my eye and drew me in. It was sparkling in the window display case of a little jewelry shop. I paused mid-step and went up to the glass to get a better look.

Cody came up behind me and asked what I was looking at. I pointed at the piece of precious metal and smiled at him, “It speaks to me.”

He smiled back and said, “If you want it, let’s get it.”

I cheered and raced inside the shop. The bell jiggled when I pushed the door open.

~~~~~

As soon as I got home, I ran upstairs and hid the pretty box and its contents under my pillow. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face nor the thoughts out of my head about my present for Ethan and my excitement for tomorrow.

A silver promise ring…

A heart stamped in and embossed with a bright red glaze on one side, a gold inlay infinity symbol on the other…

Two words engraved on the inside hold so much meaning in so many different ways—