I Want to Know Your Plans
One.
Flowers start to shed their seedling skin and start stretching towards the sky. The grass and soil surrounds them like fans in a crowd. They are the stars; the flowers are the divas. Ryan smiles, he knew a complete diva once. That smile falters for a moment but quickly recovers. He shields his eyes against the sun; it’s at its peak. Despite the radiating lights shining on him, the air is chilly. He shudders in his hoodie, closing his eyes.
He was still a child; he was still a baby; he was still growing up. Brendon was still shedding his immaturity, his shy little demeanor. He was cool and content, he had his moments but he had it all together, a little puzzle in a puzzle box. He had lights radiating on him everyday and yet, he didn’t crack. It wasn’t fair.
Life isn’t fair, Ryan knows that, but he didn’t expect it to be to this degree. Brendon never deserved what happened to him. He didn’t hurt anyone; he wouldn’t dare. No, he slipped up a little, all humans do. He wonders if there was actually something he did wrong, as if God was punishing him. Ryan doesn’t believe in God, anyway. Brendon’s gone and there’s nothing he can do about it.
Baby birds start to chirp, they’re starting to embrace the world. Children are getting restless in their seats, the sun inviting them with her womanly fingers. But that doesn’t happen to Ryan. Ryan gets the spring rains, the early summer thunderstorms. The sun doesn’t shine much on him, in the beautiful way it did before. It’s only annoying and a complete distraction.
It’s been a year, a year since last spring. Brendon’s been gone for a year. It was a day much like today, where Ryan is sitting in the cemetery, pulling up fistfuls of grass in spite of him. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping. And yet, despite the beauty everywhere, there was still one cold soul. One greedy soul not yet touched by the sun. He knew Brendon from television. He pulled him into the darkness, the silence, he took his phone, his wallet, and his clothes and then he shot him, right through the head.
Ryan didn’t even get the chance to tell him how much he loved him. It kills him, to see the little budding flowers, their heads rising above the dirt ever so softly, ever so shyly. It’s like a blow to the lungs when he see’s clear blue skies. It’s like salt being poured onto his wounds when anyone mentions spring.
Spring used to be a happy time, the beginning of summer and the only time with fair weather where it’s not too hot and not too cold and the rain isn’t so bad after all. But now, it’s nothing but darkness.
The flowers slowly creep down into the ground to hide from the chill as Ryan leaves the cemetery.
He was still a child; he was still a baby; he was still growing up. Brendon was still shedding his immaturity, his shy little demeanor. He was cool and content, he had his moments but he had it all together, a little puzzle in a puzzle box. He had lights radiating on him everyday and yet, he didn’t crack. It wasn’t fair.
Life isn’t fair, Ryan knows that, but he didn’t expect it to be to this degree. Brendon never deserved what happened to him. He didn’t hurt anyone; he wouldn’t dare. No, he slipped up a little, all humans do. He wonders if there was actually something he did wrong, as if God was punishing him. Ryan doesn’t believe in God, anyway. Brendon’s gone and there’s nothing he can do about it.
Baby birds start to chirp, they’re starting to embrace the world. Children are getting restless in their seats, the sun inviting them with her womanly fingers. But that doesn’t happen to Ryan. Ryan gets the spring rains, the early summer thunderstorms. The sun doesn’t shine much on him, in the beautiful way it did before. It’s only annoying and a complete distraction.
It’s been a year, a year since last spring. Brendon’s been gone for a year. It was a day much like today, where Ryan is sitting in the cemetery, pulling up fistfuls of grass in spite of him. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping. And yet, despite the beauty everywhere, there was still one cold soul. One greedy soul not yet touched by the sun. He knew Brendon from television. He pulled him into the darkness, the silence, he took his phone, his wallet, and his clothes and then he shot him, right through the head.
Ryan didn’t even get the chance to tell him how much he loved him. It kills him, to see the little budding flowers, their heads rising above the dirt ever so softly, ever so shyly. It’s like a blow to the lungs when he see’s clear blue skies. It’s like salt being poured onto his wounds when anyone mentions spring.
Spring used to be a happy time, the beginning of summer and the only time with fair weather where it’s not too hot and not too cold and the rain isn’t so bad after all. But now, it’s nothing but darkness.
The flowers slowly creep down into the ground to hide from the chill as Ryan leaves the cemetery.