My Dad, My World.

I said I wunna touch the earth. I wunna break it in my hands. I wunna grow something wild, and unruley. I wunna sleep on the hard ground, in the comfort of your arms. On a pillow of blue bonnets, in a blanket made of stars. It sounds, good, to me. Cowboy take me away, fly this girl as high as you can into the wild blue. Set me free oh i ray. Closer to heaven above and closer to you. Closer to you.
-Dixiechicks.
The leaves were falling. Floating gently down to the ground around me in intricate patterns not seen by the human eye. Usually Vegas stayed pretty hot year round but, this year, temperatures were dropping and leaving the trees to suffer the quick change, the dying process before growing back to its full green luciousness. For a week now I had been doing some people watching. Observing the sweaters, the scarves.

Dad and I went straight to bed after we talked about mom. But today we felt like we needed a day of grieving. Last night my dreams were filled with images of the family I wish I could have with arty, the family my dad thought he had before mommy died. A healthy self, a beautiful passionate wife, and a child to be blessed with everyday you wake up. Something to be happy with no matter how imperfect it is. A love so great that no one else will ever understand.

I guess dad and I still were that happiness, that family... as much as we can without a motherly figure. But thats why I loved my dad so much, he took upon the roll as good as any mother would. Not to say that mommy wasn't a good mom, i'm sure she was wonderful.

The wind was beginning to pick up and the whispers between the trees seemed to call my name.

"Tayyyyyylor...." "Taaaayyylllooooorrrr....." "Tay-"

"Taylor hunny, come in, its getting chilly. Dinners almost ready to so go wash up alittle." Dads voice echoed around the yard making everything around me more quiet than it had been.

I stood and wrinced my hands in dads fountain and looked across the yard and the street, into the persons front window.

"What the...." I ran over to the fence keeping my eyes glued to the window where there seemed to be a black mist standing between the window and the cigarette stained white curtain.

It just seemed to be floating there. It seemed like the more I looked at it, the more of a shape it became. It was expanding and growing.

"Taylor?....what are you looking at?" Dad said leaning on the door frame.

I turned and looked at him and watched his eyes wonder idly at whatever might have caught my attention.

"It was...." I turned back to the house, pointing at the window in front of me but the apparition that I had saw not but 5 seconds before was just...gone.

"Nothing....I guess it was nothing. " I said walking to him.
It was there, I know it was... for now I would leave it be. Maybe dad will catch it...but it was there...I know it was.

Nick and Aaron had shown up while I was enjoying my time outside so we all sat at the island after I had cleaned up and watched dad cook like a mad man. Pots and pans were spread all over the counters and stove and in the oven and just everywhere. Dad is an amazing cook but when it comes to messes, i'm usually the one who goes around and picks everything up behind him. But tonight there was no way I was getting in the way of him. I could tell he was fighting thoughts of mom. This was his way of shoving her out while he tried to focus on the family he needed to take care of.

Sitting here at the island, Nick and Aaron made small conversation. I listened loosely to them and watched dads busy form.

"Maybe she could be of some use to us....." I heard Aaron say.

Who? I remembered the day I almost got to go on a lock down, but since it was cancled by Aarons unfortunate accident, I had been thinking of talking to dad about going on another. But with all this demon crap, I wasn't sure I wanted dad to go. I also knew if he did, I had to be there with him as his angel.

"I'm sure Zak has thought about it. I wonder how much she knows. " I turned to them then and spoke up.

"I'm sitting right here ya know." I batted my eyes lashes and folded my hands against my cheek getting a fit of giggles from Aaron and a beautiful megawat smile from Nick.

Don't get me wrong, nick is gorgeous but hes married, plus hes kind of like family I guess...so while I blushed, I turned my face back to dad who had stopped moving. His face burried in the window.

I knew then he had let his feelings get the best of him and mom had taken advantage of it. He stood exactly where mom would stand while she washed dishes or watered whatever plants that I knew she had sitting up on the window ledge.

"Dad." I said.

When he didn't answer I got up and walked around the island to him. Once I got to him I just stood next to him and watched his face. His eyes closed, his heavy stressed form leaning against the sink, the muscles in his arms and jaw, clenching. He was going to cry. I looked over at the two men sitting at my island and gave Nick a look that he as well as I would know. Nick nodded his head and took hold of Aaron, discussing something about the last lock down they had been on. Mentally I thanked him but I made note to myself that I needed to really thank him.

I took dads hand then and just stood there with him while we mourned over her absence. I felt bad. I felt really bad because if it weren't for this whole angel thing and telling him about seeing mommy in my dreams, then he wouldn't be so miserable. I needed to find a way to get him to see mommy. I looked up a his face and watched one single tear roll down his cheek.

"I'm sorry daddy... I know its hard." I whispered.

At that moment, he let go of every sence of pride he had been keeping up for years and fell to his knees, letting tear after tear soak his face. He let his sobs become uncontrolable and I let it happen. I let him hold his hand in mine and squeeze when his breath caught in his throat. I let him lay his head in the crook of my neck. I let him pull me closer when he needed the extra support. I let him pour his life into the fabric of my shirt until he quieted down.

*1 hour later*

After I tucked dad into bed, I made my way to the kitchen and finished dinner in hopes that nick Aaron and I would be able to talk about me going on a lock down with them and dad. So after serving the plates and setting them on the designated spots along the island and made my way out to the back deck where the two of them had made there way to earlier. Neither one of them saw me as I cracked the door, not wanting to just barge in on their conversation. But that's when I heard Nick say my name.

*Nicks p.o.v.*

"Its wrong I know, shes Zaks daughter, shes only 16, shes with arty...but shes so beautiful in her own crazy way that I feel like i can only see." Nick sad pulling at the collar of his t-shirt.

Veronique, his wife, and himself hadn't been doing the best and right now, it seemed as though Taylor was keeping him on his feet more than Veronique was these days. Sure it was wrong, Nick was for sure right about that. Plus Nick could remember watching Zak raise her, he had been there to help Zak when he had no one else after Melanie died.

But there was no chasing this feeling towards Taylor. But there was also no doing anything about it.

"Taylor is...family, Nick. You can feel whatever way you want about her but the bottom line is shes all Zak has. Which means that its your job and my job to protect her with everything we have." Aaron said to his friend.

Nick nodded his head in agreement and listened to what his brain was telling him, which was that Taylor was off limits and only needed to be protected for Zak's sake. But then again, he couldn't shake the pounding in his chest he had for her. Nick rubbed his temple and looked at his friend and shook his head again.

"Your right. Thanks Aaron." Nick said.

"No problem G. Besides, Zak would kill you." Aaron said and together they laughed until Taylor opened the back door.

"Dinners finished. Plus id like to talk to you about something." She said.

Nick reeled at the sound of her voice but got up with Aaron and followed her to the kitchen, his heart about ready to pop out of his chest.

Thump thump.

*Taylors p.o.v.*

My throat felt dry after hearing what Nick thought about me. All these years Nick had always been so nice to me and protected me always, but I never thought it would have come to this. I always thought he thought of me as a little sister or something of a really good friend but....not like...love or whatever. It didn't bother me in a negative way, its just the fact of not knowing. But, Nick is about 17 years older than me. Even if I had the slightest interest in him, he would still be way to old for me. Plus i'm not 18 yet so....just cancel it all lol besides, I had found the love of my life. Which reminds me I need to call him after dinner.

After pouring us drinks and getting situated at the table I let myself have at it with the thoughts tumbling around in my mind.

"So this lock down...i'm going. Dad cant be left alone. He might not be showing any signs right now but the demon is still inside him which means, as his protector, I get to go." I finished in a rush and looked up expectantly at them.

They both looked at each other and finished their bites and seemed to have a conversation that only they could here in their minds. It was until Aaron started laughing histerically and Nick smiled uncontrolably that i knew they had lost all train of thought.
I looked towards dads door and cleared my throat, hinting to them that i was more than beyond serious when it came to protecting dad. I wasn't trying to be a bitch but I really needed the ok with the rest of the crew before I made a mistake by even letting dad go in the first place.

"Ok well, First-" Aaron started. " -your dads a grown man and hes been through this so many times where you haven't even known. All i'm saying is keep an open mind when it comes to Zak and his demon problems. "

"But-" nick began. "-Zak is known to bring home some pretty hefty demons. But your the angel and you know best for him. So if you feel this one is eating him more than the rest then I trust you. I mean, WE trust you, right Aaron?" He looked to Aaron who was already giving him the 'zaksgonnakillyou' look.

That would have to be a talk for some day soon. Suddenly I felt a billion years old. Dealing with this stuff hadn't been on my bucket list at the mere age of 16.

"Yea totally. Well Taylor thank you for dinner but i've got some major work to do before lock down day. So does Nick. Right nick?" Aaron asked urgently.

I led them to the door, said our good buys and went to dads room to check on him only to find him sleeping silently in his bed, covered up from head to toe in his giant black comforter.
Thank you god for giving him some peace of mind for the night.