New American Classic

“Jesus, Lo you’re still laying in bed?”

A dream-like voice filled my once silent room, my body twitched with slight fear.

“I’m awake.” I grunted from under my blanket.

The other voice let out a low sigh and soon enough the blanket was thrown from me. I blinked my eyes quickly, adjusting to the sudden light but let them close again when I saw my mothers face.

“Yes, but you’re still in bed. You have to get up, you’re flight leaves soon.”

As if triggered by a certain word, my eyes flew opened and I jolted myself from the bed. It was today, holy shit. My mother turned from my vanity to look at me with an odd expression.

“Well that certainly worked.” She said with a soft chuckle.

I didn’t respond but instead I flew over to where my half packed suitcases sat. I had started packing last night, but got pre-occupied and ended up falling asleep on one of my bags. In a sleepy blur I attempted to finish what I had started, completely ignoring the fact that my mother was still standing there watching me intently. She cleared her throat and stirred me away from what I was doing.

“What’re you doing here?” I asked groggily as if I forgot she was there.

Her brows furrowed a bit unaware as to why exactly I forgot she was in my apartment.

“I’m aloud to see my only daughter head off to a different country aren’t I?” She asked with a snarky tone.

I closed my eyes again, and shook my head trying to cover up that I was still a bit high from last night.

“I…I’m sorry I’m still half asleep.” I lied convincingly.

When I opened my eyes again she was standing in the same spot with a warm smile on her lips. It worked. She slowly made her way to my bed and sat on the corner.

“I still can’t believe you’re going away to grad school in London.”

My eyes widened, the sound of it shocked me too.

“It feels like just yesterday you were complaining about not wanting to even go to college in general.”

I let a breathy chuckle from my nose as a quick memory from the summer after my high school graduation filled me head. I never really gave a shit in high school. I was too busy worrying about boyfriends, friends, and partying. I worked a retail job, made shit money, and spent my weekends getting drunk with my best friends. I’m not sure what made me realize I was being a dead beat, but whatever it was it worked and eventually I decided on art school.

“Yeah and now look at me...grad school!” I cheered almost sarcastically.
I put my eyes back on my things, and felt my mother just staring at me. A wee bit of paranoia sunk in; did she know I was an addict?

“We better get going.” I interrupted her staring abruptly.

She just smiled again, and nodded her head. I rushed myself into the bathroom and threw on anything I could find that wasn’t already packed in my suitcase. After 10 minutes or so, as if I was still dreaming I was in the car and we were headed to LAX. As my mom drove I couldn’t help but stare out the window at the old city I was used to calling home.

”You’ll have a new home now…a new start too.”

My conscience was hinting at me quitting with the drugs, but I paid no attention to it. I had no faith in giving up my little demon, it’s almost as if it had now become a friend of mine. We passed the bar where I had first met Rich…where I first didn’t realize where my life was heading from there. It was some grunge concert I was at with my friends, I didn’t really want to go but there was booze and music so I agreed. I was at the bar ordering a drink, when I felt someone get very close behind me.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The guy apologized. “Someone bumped me, I lost my balance.”

All I could do was smile, lost in his gorgeous gold eyes that had specks of brown and green in them.

“It’s fine.” I said, reaching for my drink. “I’m Lola.”

From that point on we were inseparable. I was madly in love, and he was in no way afraid of corrupting me.

“Lola?”

I was brought back to reality by my mother’s voice. I must’ve dozed off because when I looked, we were arriving at the airport. A knot started to twist my organs, and I suddenly felt nauseous.

“You’re going to be fine.” My mother comforted, noticing the color quickly draining from my face.

I looked at her like a lost child. You have no idea what I’m going to be like. I need you, please tell me not to go. Beg me to stay, plead that I’m making a terrible decision.

“Yeah I hope.” I mumble, swallowing my original words.

She walked with me all the way to where she couldn’t.

“I love you.” I blurted out, grabbing her into a hug.

My mom breathed heavily, and I felt the smile on her lips.

“I love you too doll, I’m so proud of you.” She assured.

We pulled away and when I turned to look back at her she stood there in all her glory waving me goodbye, her cheeks glossed with fresh tears.

I wish I could really make you proud…I really wish I were something to be proud of.

“Flight to London, now boarding.”

The voice filled the terminal and pulled me away from my mother’s vision. I walked alone towards the plane, soon greeted by an overly cheery stewardess.

“Have a nice flight.” She greeted as I flipped her off in my head.

I smiled though; figuring aggression wasn’t the best idea and took my seat. I watched out the window as the ground grew further and further away from me. This was it…I was really going…I was really flying thousands of miles from home to start a life in the UK.

“You’re mothers right.” My conscience assured. “You’re going to be fine.”

Shut-up.