Bums

After school the next day, Julian bypassed her house and down to the end of her street until the houses gave way to trees. She broke from the sidewalk and made her way down an unmarked path. It lead to her other hideaway; the train tracks. It wasn’t often that they were used, and no one bothered to come down there, so it was perfect for Julian and her best friend Leigh to sneak off and get high. You know, be one with nature.

Leigh was already there, and shook a small bag with a few rolled up joints inside of it, “It’s about time. I was almost about to start without you, but I didn’t want to be a bad host.”

“Like that’s stopped you before. Got your lighter? All I have are matches.”

“Matches are fine, toss ‘em here and I’ll start it. Did you get your letter yesterday?” The two of them sat across from each other in the grass, and Julian passed the matches to Leigh. Without skipping a beat, Leigh lit up and let Julian have the first hit.

“Yeah,” she inhaled before passing the joint to Leigh, “He gave me his address. He said I should try to write to him but… there’s something more. It’s like I have an idea about it but I don’t know what it is, yet.”

“You have his address, huh?” Leigh passed it back to Julian and leaned back on one of her hands, “You should go on google earth and check it out. Maybe you can find something out there?”

“Yeah, I tried that last night before I finally went to bed,” she paused and took a pull from it, “It’s big, but that’s all I can really say. He lives in Los Angeles, so it really doesn’t narrow it down.”

“That’s true. I’ll go home after we’re done here and see what I can find out. You have a lot of stuff on him, even if you don’t think so. I’m sure if we worked at it we could narrow it down. He lives in LA, has the initials GAW, is married to a woman with the initials LZ, has a child that’s three years old, and has a job that requires him to work on long projects with a group of people. Our main task will be figuring out what his job could be, then we could probably narrow it down from there.”

“You’re so smart when you’re high, Leigh. What the hell?”

“I’m smart all the time, you only see it when you’re cheeched.”

*

Later that night, Julian crawled into bed and spared a glance at the top drawer of her dresser. She couldn’t being to count the amount of times she’d read his letters over and scraped every bit of information from them. It was pointless to try, but she had just finished with another round of scavenging and hadn’t come up with any new information.

Clutching her phone in her hand, she debated on calling Leigh and seeing what the verdict was on her search. Her better judgment won out, and Julian let the phone drop to her bedside table as she buckled down to get to sleep. Leigh would call her if anything new happened. She didn’t need to worry herself over that.

***

Julian woke up that morning, and decided that she was in no condition to go to school. In other words, she just didn’t want to go. Her mother was at work, and wouldn’t be surprised that Julian skipped. It wasn’t a rare occurrence these days. When she walked downstairs in her boxers and Green Day t-shirt, she wasn’t surprised to see Leigh standing in the kitchen, experimenting with pancake batter and the contents of the cupboards.

“Morning, sleeping beauty. How does Lucky Charms and Aunt Jemima sound?”

“Together or separate.”

“Together.”

“Sounds great,” Julian sidled up to the breakfast bar and sat on one of the stools. Leigh seemed to be humming with energy, and Julian wasn’t sure if she should be afraid or excited.

“So, I told you how last night I was going to do some research, right?” Julian nodded, watching as Leigh slid a plate of pancakes in front of her. They were brown, with irregular shapes of color inside them. The marshmallows, “Well, I got some results. It was a pain to narrow everything down, but I managed to do it. I have the list in my pocket, gimme a sec,” Leigh made her own plate before sitting next to Julian and pulling out a crumpled piece of notebook paper. She smoothed it out with sticky fingers and Julian was surprised to see the amount of names were short.

“We have Gerry Alex Worthor. Age fourty, married to Lily Zeta; her maiden name of course. He has a three year old daughter, and lives in Los Angeles. He works as a teller at a bank, so he’s out,” and the list went on, one unfamiliar person after another. Leigh was a certified creep, and spent a lot of her time on the computer stalking people. It made sense that she could narrow down a massive city to this many people.

Then, Leigh shot Julian an anxious look.

“I went out on a limb with this one, but with everything we know about your father, he makes perfect sense. It’s pretty farfetched though, so bare with me.”

“Spit it out,” Julian urged through a mouthful of sugary-pancakes, her heart pounding. Leigh wouldn’t have put him on the list if he wasn’t a candidate, and she did say he made the most sense..

“Well, um… He’s thirty-five years old, he’s married to Lindsey Ballato, has a three-year-old daughter. He’s in a band with four of his close friends-” Julian’s mind kicked into gear the second Leigh spouted his wife’s name. She had to be kidding, there was no way that the man she was thinking of could possibly be a candidate… right?

“His name, Leigh. What’s his name.”

“Gerard Arthur Way,” Leigh saw the look in Julian’s eyes, and dropped her fork to grab Julian’s forearm, “Hear me out, girly. I didn’t want to put him on the list at first, but then I got to thinking. You were born in Jersey, yeah?” Julian nodded slowly, and Leigh gained a triumphant look in her eyes, “Gerard is from Jersey. He lived there around the time you were born. Gerard would have been seventeen when you were conceived, making him the right age to be dating your mother. Gerard has the same hair as you, and now that I think of it you look similar. Where did your mother live before you were born?”

“Belleville- Oh god.” Julian pulled her arm from Leigh’s and stood up, “This isn’t right, Leigh. Can you look again? Maybe you skipped over someone that fits better-”

“Listen to me- LISTEN TO ME, JULIAN,” Leigh roared, standing up from the stool and shaking Julian’s shoulders, “Everything makes sense, Julian. Why wouldn’t your mom want Gerard around you as a baby? Because that’s when he was big into drugs and alcohol. Why doesn’t your mom want you to listen or see My Chemical Romance? Because Gerard is your father, Julian. It all lines up perfect. Now let’s go sit in the living room, and we’ll figure this out,” with a strangled noise, Julian let Leigh lead her into the living room where Leigh pulled the list out again.

“I have an idea, Julian. It’s crazy, and it’s risky, but I’m willing to help you with it because you’ve saved my life hundreds of times. How much money is in your floorboard?”

“About eight hundred-”

“I have five hundred saved up. I just got my beater fixed up.”

“Leigh, are you seriously suggesting-"

“That we go on a great exodus to the golden state? Julian, you were meant to do this. Everything in your life has built up to this decision-”

“You’re being dramatic, Leigh,” Julian gave her friend a deadpan look before pushing her away and walking to the window where the overcast sky made everything look dreary, “Even if Gerard managed to be my father - by some kind of fucked up celestial, divine intervention - our parents would notice we were gone. They’d call the cops, we’d get caught before we even got there.”

“Julian, this is your only chance to see your father. He loves you Julian, he gave you his address. Even if he isn’t Gerard, don’t you still want to know who he is?” Julian turned back to Leigh, who was sitting on the edge of the coffee table with such a determined look on her face that Julian suddenly felt like maybe this all made sense.