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“Your letter will be waiting for you when you get back, hun,” her mother gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and Julian nodded, giving her mother an even quicker hug before picking up her purse and grabbing her suitcase.

“Okay. We’ll be home soon, I’ll call you when we get there.”

“Call me if anything happens too!” Marian called out after her daughter as Julian trotted out to Leigh’s rumbling car. It was actually more of a rolling tank, but it got the job done and had gotten the two of them through many adventures.

“Are you ready to face your destiny, Julian?”

“I’m so scared I might throw up.”

“Awesome, that’s the spirit. The window doesn’t roll down so you’ll have to yak on yourself,” with that, Leigh began to drive out of town, and out into the world. Despite the cliché thought, Julian couldn’t help but feel like this was the first moment of the rest of her life.

Scenery, towns and hours passed by the windows, with a few stops to use the bathroom, eat, and switch drivers. They stopped for the night in a small town a ways east of the border of Iowa and Nebraska, opting for a room for the night instead of the uncomfortable car. They decided to just share a bed to cut back on money, earning an odd look from the receptionist.

While Leigh was in the bathroom, Julian called up her mother and told her that they were in Chicago, traffic was horrifying, and they had to hunt for a hotel. She apologized for calling so late, and only earned forgiveness and love from her mother in return. Julian felt bad, but then she remembered all the times the outgoing letters to her father never even left the mailbox, and steeled her nerves.

At this point, Leigh had flipped on the TV to some music show, where they were showing a rerun of an interview with a certain band. Leigh remarked that it was fate, and Julian only gave a harsh laugh.

“So, what will you do, girly?”

“About what?” Julian plugged her phone into the wall to charge, and turned to look at the TV. It was an extremely old interview, she’d estimate some time during the Bullets era.

“You know… about Gerard,” Leigh tossed the remote over to Julian and laid back, tucking her arms under her head.

“We’re not even sure if it’s him or not, Leigh. It might just be a sick coincidence, there is such thing.”

“You think the fact that he lived in Jersey, was the same age as your mother, is the singer for the band your mother hates for no reason, has the same initials as your letters, has a three year old kid, has a wife that could have an alias like LZ, looks like you… all are coincidences?” Julian didn’t answer, and she could feel the satisfaction coming off Leigh in waves. Instead, she looked to the television and watched her maybe-dad’s face as he explained that the thing he just drank tasted like someone stole his wallet.

*

The following day, just outside Omaha, Nebraska, their upbeat attitudes came to an abrupt halt. Struggling to move the car to the side of the highway, the two girls sat in silence for a good ten minutes before Julian lifted her foot and slammed it into the dashboard with enough force to send her foot through the glove compartment. She shouted a profanity at the top of her lungs, forced the passenger’s side door open and stomped to the back of the car to sit on the trunk.

Leigh followed after, giving the car a good kick of her own, before climbing up next to Julian, “Well, what now?” Leigh asked, looking to Julian with a forlorn look. Julian gave her a weak glare before falling back to lay across the back window. The sun above had warmed the outside of the car, and her backside was starting to get too warm from sitting on it.

“You’re supposed to be the one with the plan. We could get a tow truck in Omaha and get it pulled into a shop to have them look at it.”

After a quick game of rock-paper-scissors, Julian got to stay with the car while Leigh began the walk to Omaha to get the tow truck.

*

“What do you mean, it’s shot!”

“Lady, the engine’s completely done for, you’d have to get a new one, or rebuild it. I could do it here but it costs a pretty penny and takes some time - “

“Time and money that we don’t have! We need to get to California, man. How are we going to do that?”

“Two girls? You wouldn’t have a problem hitch hiking,” Julian threw the man a disgusted look before pulling stomping over to where their suitcases were waiting. After a few minutes, Leigh walked over with a wad of cash in her hands.

“I know the guy was probably lying about the engine, but the car is still broke down and we don’t have time or money to fix it. He agreed to give me four hundred for it, so we should be square-”

“SQUARE! Leigh, you don’t understand. We’re in in the middle of butt fuck nowhere - OMAHA, with no way home, and no way to California! What the hell are we gonna do!”

“How badly do you want to meet your Dad, Julian?” Leigh picked up her suitcase and lead Julian outside into the sweltering heat. Julian sighed and followed Leigh in the general direction that they should have been driving.

“More than anything in the world.”

“Then we will think of something, okay?”

*

After finding yet another hotel room, the two girls deposited their suitcases and set out to find something to pass the time until the following day. The duo stopped at a 7-11, and Leigh headed straight up to the counter to start speaking with the cashier. Julian ambled back to the slurpees and began to debate if she wanted one. It looked kind of… gross.

“I wouldn’t drink one of those, if I were you,” Julian whipped around and almost bumped into a man behind her. His hair was black and hung messily around his face, and he looked to be in his late twenties. To reiterate his statement, he shook his head, “They never clean that thing. If you’re really that desperate for something to drink, the diner across the street is a lot better. I’d be glad to escort you.”

“Across the street?” Julian gave him a weird look and he cracked a small smile.

“You could get lost?” He gave her another reassuring smile and she sighed before shaking her head.

“I can handle getting across the street on my own, bud,” She side-stepped him and called to Leigh who was still talking hurriedly - and excitedly - with the cashier. Leigh waved her off after hearing where Julian would be at, and looked down at the laminated map that she and the cashier had been poring over.

The street wasn’t too busy at this time, so it took her all of five seconds to trot across before walking into the diner. She found her own table, and it wasn’t long before her new friend found his way across from her.

“Look, I’m not some creepy guy, alright?” Julian gave him another look, and he gave her a smile in return, “Here. My name’s Conor. I live here in Omaha. I’ve never seen you around here before, so I’m pretty sure you and your friend at the 7-11 are new. Or passing through. Which is it?”

“Passing through… soon,” Julian amended, and looked down at the cup of water that the waitress had given her. Conor leaned forward, pressing her to go on, and she tried not to look up at him.

“We’re headed to California.”

“That’s a long way.”

“Especially considering our car just broke down, and our parents think we’re in Chicago.”

“Runaways, huh. Where’s the car?” Julian explained that they sold it, and they were now stranded in Omaha, Nebraska with no way back or forward. Conor let out a tiny laugh before asking why she was even trying to run off to California, anyway.

Julian tried her best to dodge the question and change the subject, but Conor seemed to be a master of manipulation, and continued to bring the topic back to her reasoning. After a good twenty minutes of his badgering, Julian finally broke down and began to tell him the shortened story, minus the part where her father maybe-might-be-famous.

“You’ve got balls, kid. I’ll tell you that. I know you haven’t been given a reason to trust me, but I’ve got a pull out couch and an air mattress back at my apartment. It’d be better than the shithole motel you’re probably staying in.”

“I think I saw cockroaches,” Julian wrinkled her nose, and Conor laughed before downing the rest of his water.

“Let’s go find your friend then.”

Leigh was predictably opposed to the idea of staying in the apartment of a man that she’d never met, but she trusted Julian’s judgment and begrudgingly agreed to the arrangement. Back at the hotel, she argued with the cashier for almost an hour before getting a refund for their room, and the trio then left for Conor’s apartment.

It was average, the paint was peeling but the furniture wasn’t ratty and it was somewhat organized. Conor let them decide who would sleep where, while he dug through his closet to find the air mattress that he talked about. While the two girls were alone, Leigh rounded on Julian.

“I swear to god, if we get raped I’m going to fucking kill you.”

“We’re not gonna get raped. Conor’s a nice guy, and it would be two on one. He’s a twig and barely taller than us, we could totally take him-”

“Not if he chloroforms us in our sleep, or drugs our drinks, or-”

“I found it. No, I’m not going to drug your drinks. You can get something though if you want, go ahead and clean the cups and check the water tap for drugs, I definitely plan to spontaneously bring girls to my apartment so that I can have my wicked way with them,” Conor dropped to the floor sitting Indian-style, and began to use the hand-pump to inflate the mattress. Leigh looked away, remorseful, and Julian tried to laugh it off.

“Conor, do you really think that we would just accept an offer from a strange man to stay in his house without being a little suspicious?”

“I’m not mad, I understand completely. Trust me, I’ve been stranded my fair share of times when traveling around with my bands, I’ve stayed with strangers and I was definitely afraid of getting raped. A skinny little white boy alone in the world, doped out of my mind a couple of those times? I’m surprised I’m not dead,” Conor sent Julian a slanted smile before putting the cap on the air mattress and kicking it to the more open area of the floor.

*

Late that night, when Leigh had fallen asleep, Julian spared a glance over to Conor’s bedroom door. The light was still on, and a measly amount filtered out into the living room. Quietly, she climbed out of the pull-out bed and made her way to the door. She knocked quietly a few times before Conor opened the door.

His hair was all over the place, he had dark circles under his eyes, but still managed to offer Julian a tiny crooked smile. For some reason, she felt something in her stomach clench up, and barely managed to ask if she could come in. He opened the door wider for her to enter, before shutting it again and moving to flop onto his messy bed.

“Why are you up so late?” Julian sat next to him, and he let out a quiet laugh.

“At night, I get to thinking of my life, and all the things I’ve done. I regret a lot of it, and I wonder what my life would be like if I did things differently.”

Julian looked down at Conor and reached for his hand to hold it in both of hers. She felt odd, acting so close to this man that she only just met a few hours ago, but he squeezed one of her hands gratefully.

After a long time of silence between the two of them, Conor sat up and began to tell her the story of his life.

With her head on his shoulder, Julian listened intently, nodding where it was prudent and unwilling to speak lest she interrupt him. He was such an interesting man, having been into music for so long. He explained his most recent band - Bright Eyes - and how he was ready to move on from them. It was sad, but he would continue to be a musician somehow. She just knew it.

With a bitter laugh, Conor thanked her for listening to all of his rambling. He looked down at her as the two of them lay entwined on his bed, and guided her to look up at him with his hand. He felt like a cradle-robber, but he couldn’t stop himself from leaning down to press his lips against hers. She was frozen still for a second before she tentatively returned his kiss.

Despite all her better judgment, Julian spent that night in Conor’s bed.