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Julian stepped out of the car, letting out a deep breath as she looked up at the house looming above her, welcoming and bright. Looking to the car, she saw Conor and Leigh give her a thumbs up in reassurance. They hadn’t wanted to come with, this was Julian’s moment.

Up the front walk and at the front door, Julian knocked hesitantly. It felt like her entire life over again before the door finally opened. Her heart jumped when she saw the familiar man awaiting her, his hand outstretched to lead her inside. Shakily, she let him pull her into the house and shutt he door firmly behind her.

“I knew you’d come, Julian,” Gerard said with a smile that made her uncomfortable. As they walked through the seemingly endless hallways of his home, his grip on her wrist continued to tighten painfully.

“This was a test, you know. Your mom didn’t believe you’d run off to see me. But you did. I knew you would,” his laugh was chilling, and he finally broke from the hallway into a spacious room with only one chair - occupied by her mother.

“Mom?”

“I should have known you’d run off here, you little delinquent. We’re going home,” her mother stood from the chair, and made her way to Julian with grasping hands. Julian cowered into Gerard’s side, hoping he would protect her. Instead, he forcefully shoved Julian to her mother. Marian turned Julian so she could watch Gerard’s sneer.

“You think I’d actually want you around, you stupid brat? I have an actual family now. I don’t need you. Get out of my house, don’t forget to leave me my money, Marian,” Julian called out to Gerard pathetically as her mother dragged her from the house. Gerard’s laugh only followed as he grew father away, sounding eerily like her name.

Julian.

Julian.

Julian.

“Julian!” Conor’s voice broke her our of her dream, and Julian shot up from her slouched position, looking around the stationary car. It was nearing sunrise, and they were parked in a truck stop. Julian figured it was to use the bathroom and to eat, since Leigh was M.I.A.

“God, you were freaking out. Are you okay?” He asked, reaching over to grab her hand. She laced her fingers with his, and leaned back in the seat with a nod. Conor gave her a disbelieving look, before leaning over to kiss her jaw, “Let’s go grab something to eat and then we’ll head out.”

Climbing out of the car and immediately latching onto Conor’s hand again, the two of them entered the building to find a vending machine, “Where are we, even?”

“We’ve been driving for uh… seven hours, I think? We’re just past Fort Morgan. Nebraska.”

“Thank you for this, Conor. I don’t know how I can pay you back.”

“You don’t have to,” he kissed her fully this time, but it was short and sweet. They were in public, after all. After using the bathroom and getting some food from the machines, they all met back at the car. Conor switched places with Leigh, and he sprawled out on the backseat to fall asleep. Leigh waited an hour before looking to Julian.

“What is he to you, Julian,” Leigh demanded, keeping her eyes locked to the road with her eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t know, Leigh.”

“You better figure it out. You’ve managed to dig a damn deep hole, girl. We’re running away across the country, you’ve picked up a 30-something year old man to make out with, and our parents have probably alerted the FBI so that we’d be found.”

“National Guard, and the CIA,” Julian added with a wry smile, but dropped it when she saw that Leigh was serious. Sparing a look over her shoulder to the man in the backseat, Julian sunk lower into a slouch.

“I don’t know. I like him and all but… we just met. He’s so nice and caring and… ugh. I don’t know. This would be so much easier if I knew what he wanted from me. I’m so confused, I thought he was just offering us a place for the night, and next thing I know we’re all migrating to California.”

“He picked up and drove you off into the night, Julian. That has to count for something, right?”

“You’d think so. But I’m not even sure,” Julian tightened her sweater around her chest before crossing her arms and looking out the window at the brightening sky.

*

In Denver, Conor requested that they stop and take a break from driving. Julian paid for their hotel room - two beds - and they huddled in the room with only salted peanuts and water for lunch. Julian leaned against Conor, picking at her leftovers from the truck stop and wishing they could just get on the road to California again.

“We’re going to head to Salt Lake City next. Then Vegas, and then hopefully Los Angeles,” Leigh was pointing out the cities on the map in front of her. Julian glanced it over before giving a nod of assent and letting Conor and Leigh mull over the little details. Her mind was occupied with more important things - like her mother. Her father. Would Marian call the police? Absolutely, she was horrified at the thought of her daughter wanting to see her father.

The first time that Julian asked to call her dad, Marian had almost burst a blood vessel, screaming that her deadbeat, piece of shit father would only get her into trouble. He didn’t deserve to talk to Julian, she said. But those letters… those couldn’t be the words of a deadbeat man, right? He seemed to genuinely care about Julian’s well-being - even asking how her life was, knowing she wouldn’t be able to answer.

Julian jumped when Conor leaned down to break her from her thoughts, “Julian? We should probably get to sleep. Traveling at night will be easier, since we won’t be seen so easily,” Conor helped her to stand, and the three of them laid in bed, trying to sleep. It seemed like only minutes before Conor left the room to stand on the balcony, leaving Julian and Leigh alone.

Julian tried to ignore Leigh’s stare, but finally gave in and looked over at the her friend. Leigh gestured to the patio door, signaling Julian to follow Conor outside and talk to him. With a grumble, Julian climbed out of bed and pulled her pants on to follow her… guy friend?

Outside, Conor stood hunched over the balcony, looking out at the buildings surrounding them. He didn’t seem to notice Julian until she sidled right up next to him, laying her head on his shoulder.

“You should get some sleep, Julian,” he breathed out quietly, obviously thinking Leigh was asleep. Julian knew she was straining to hear outside.

“I wanted to talk to you, first.”

“About what?” he looked down at her, and she pulled her head away to look at him as well.

“What are we?”

“I don’t know-”

“We need to figure it out, Conor. I already have so much on my plate. I can’t add this to it, too. What do you want from me, Conor? I met you, what… three days ago?”

“I told you, I feel connected to you,” he turned to reach for her hand. When he had it, he pressed a chaste kiss to her palm, “Out here in the world, with no family and no judgment, we’re the same. But when you get to California, or when you go back home, it’ll be different. You’re seventeen, I’m thirty-three. I’ll be an old man preying on a young girl. Out here, I know what I want from you. Everything. But there, where you belong? I can’t have that.”

Julian let out a breath she’d been holding, and leaned forward to press her forehead against Conor’s chest. She didn’t talk for a long time, before responding to Conor’s almost-confession, “I want you, too. I can’t have you either, Conor. We’d have to wait until I can. I can’t ask you to do that, Conor. Don’t put yourself on hold for some girl you only just met. Until we get there, I’m yours, and you’re mine. But after that… we’ll be done.”

Conor leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead, smiling bitterly, “Lovers, then. We’re lovers, nothing more.”

“Nothing less