Between Love and Hate.

You know what they say about bullies? That they are just passing down what has been done to them in some sort of fucked up circle of hate?

I stared at the bruise circling his left eye as he pinned me against the wall, the air was knocked out of me by his strength.

“What the fuck are you staring at?” He spat and pressed me harder against the stone.

“Nothing” I managed breathlessly. “I’m sorry” I had learned over the years that if I just took it, he got bored and left me alone. But something in his eyes today made me think about running as fast as I could.

“You’re gonna be” He spoke through closed teeth as he let me go and grabbed my wrist. I was only a stones throw away from my house but my parents worked, as did most of the people on this street and no one was around for me to run to.

“What are you doing?” I asked when he brought me to the back of his house and dragged me through the back door. I hated this house. I had spent so many summers wishing my mother would just quit her job or let me stay home.

“Shut up” He scolded and yanked at me again. “Keep your mouth shut” He whispered.

I heard snoring coming from the living room. I forgot that his father worked nights and if he wasn’t drinking he was sleeping. Or knocking ten shades of shit out of his son. I nodded and followed him up the stairs. If he wasn’t gripping my wrist so hard I would have just bolted for the door.

He closed the door to his bedroom behind me and locked the door. “Get on the bed” He said, pointing, His hands were shaking. He walked to his cd player and turned on a band I had heard a few times, then lifted his shirt over his head and threw it in the hamper.

I sat and stared at my hands, not wanting to think about what was about to happen. Surely he wasn’t about to rape me. He couldn’t?

He walked over to the bed and leaned down, putting his hand on the back of my neck and forcing me to look into his green eyes. “Felix” I whimpered. “Don’t”

“Don’t what?” He teased, placing his other hand on my cheek. He brought his thumb to my lip and pulled it down a little.

“Please” I felt a tear well up in each eye and sucked my breath in.

“Don’t” He echoed me. “I’m not going to fuck you” his thumb moved to catch a tear as it fell from my lid. “I just want to play”

He wanted to play. I remember closing my eyes as his hands explored my body over my clothes. I remember him pressing his hard bulge against my crotch and feeling a weird sensation shoot up my spine. I remember his breath getting labored and shaky as he rubbed himself against me, over and over again. He hooked his hands under my knees and pulled them up to a bent position. All the while his face was buried in my neck.

I could almost make out the shape of his manhood as it pressed against my opening. It seemed to be begging for an entrance but held back by layers of clothing. Suddenly I felt his teeth press into my skin, hard enough to break it as a long groan escaped his throat. There was a warm damp sensation between us and suddenly he sprang up, covering his crotch and into the bathroom that joined his room.

“Lauren?” He called quietly from the bathroom before he re-emerged in a pair of sweats and a red, flustered face. “You tell any one about that and I’ll kill you” he then unlocked the door. “Get out”