Cracks in Reality

I stood in my cap and gown thrilled that high school was finally over. I was even happier to see James seated with my parents in the audience. Since he has graduated last year he is almost always here, which is a huge relief since the whole long distance thing is really hard. He had to put off college since Grams has gotten ill and he choose to stay and care for her. I hate making him leave her like this, but I know it was Grams who insisted. She wanted him to be here at this important moment for me. Unlike the rest of my friends I wasn't headed off to campus life, I was engaged to be married in two weeks. I would be attending college online and moving in with Grams to help care for her. The doctor says she doesn't have long to live, maybe a few more months. It hit James really hard, so we moved up the wedding date so she could attend. It would mean the world to both of us. My parents brought land near Grams’ ranch and built James and I, a house on it. They also opened a small bookstore and parlor for me and Nicky to run.

My life was set and I was all ready for it to begin. I have been slowly moving my stuff into my new home and soon James will always be at my side. I smiled a bittersweet smile and climbed onto the stage to get my diploma. Things were moving so fast even I could barely keep track of things. Here I was standing literally on the threshold of everything, who could have guessed I would be marrying the guy I dreamt about since I was three? That, 15 years later I would be taking his last name and moving to the middle of nowhere to help him nurse to his ill grandmother. I didn’t even know for sure if he was real not too long and now there is nothing realer to me then him. I am still surprised at times to hear his voice on the phone, or to see pictures of us together plastered everywhere. I stepped off the stage and hugged Dixie tightly as she cried. High school was a big deal for her, she had tons of friends and she was having a hard time leaving. She had also decided to move to Montana get a small apartment in town. Nick would be living in Montana one third of the year. He had to break up his time right, since he was now the owner of two tattoo parlors in Texas, three in New York, one in California and one in Montana. Who knew he had so much business savvy? His chain was called Painting Virgin Skin, which I thought was epic.

Everything was changing now, Nicky kept reminding us throughout dinner. Dixie and I would no longer be living together, which did make me kind of sad. He would only see us four months a year and of course the biggest change, I will be married. We all reminisced while we ate, about when we first went to see James. We went on about meeting Nicky, about living in the group home, and everything in between. It was strange the way this all felt, not really like an ending but more like a beginning of something far more wonderful for the three of us. James sat next to me the whole time, rubbing is fingers against my engagement ring smiling throughout the whole dinner. It was so good to see him this happy and to know that I will be able to really keep him together when Grams passed. My heart ached just at the simple thought, I wanted her to live forever, but I knew that she wouldn’t. I smiled at James and kissed him while the others kept talking and laughing.

“I love you baby.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “More than anything in the entire world.”

“I love you even more then that soon-to-be Mrs. Clark.” I heard my parents’ coos and my friends sigh at us.

“I am so excited for the wedding!” Dixie squealed out and I laughed turning to face her.

“Me too sis, me too.”

Then we all resumed eating and chatting about the old days the ones that would soon represent a different version of me. The single version.