Cracks in Reality

“Ruby,” I kiss her tenderly, “Ruby, tell me where to find you.”

“Right here silly, where you always find me.”

“I mean out there, in the place where you lay your head down.”

“Oh you are so silly James.” Her hazel eyes shine at me from where she laid beside me. “I will give you my address, maybe you can write me letter.”

I could hear the doubt in her voice, it stung at my heart. I knew she was just reflecting the doubt that we both felt. I knew she was real, I ran my fingers across the exposed skin of her arm. How could she not be real when this love was more real than anything else I have ever felt.

She propped herself up on her elbow, and wrote her address in the dirt. I knew I wouldn't forget it, like everything else about Ruby it will be etched into my mind. Maybe, just maybe, this will be a real place, and I will find her there. I stroke her beautiful red hair, feeling each soft strand, memorizing the texture as if my very life depended on it.

“Tell me again James.” She laced our fingers together, laying her head on my chest.

“I will never leave you Ruby, ever. I promise you.” I could feel her smile against my chest; she ran her hand along my face. Eyes closed, probably memorizing me.

“I love you James, more than anything.” My heart fluttered, like it did every time she says those words to me.

We laid together in a perfect silence, her head on my chest, my arms wrapped around her body. My heartbeat slowing with the peace of this moment. I could feel her warmth through my shirt, the only protection against the night’s chill. The stars above twinkled in their beauty that could never compare to Ruby. She would always have what they lack, perfection. I felt her shiver and held her closer to my body. I wanted our love to warm her like it warms me.

“It’s kind of chilly baby.” She snuggled even closer. “Good thing you are here to keep me warm.”

“Ruby, promise me something.”

She looked up at me, “anything.”

“Wait for me.” She looked up at me a bit puzzled, biting her lip ring, head slightly cocked to the side.

“Wait for me; don’t give your love to anyone else. I swear I will find you. I swear it. Just please wait for me.”

“There will never be anyone else James. No one will ever be you. I will wait forever, as long as I know you are out there looking for me.” She pressed her soft pink lips against mine and my world stood still.

She grabbed my hair pulling me closer; I placed one hand on the back of her neck. I felt her shiver into me. I traced her lips with my finger when she pulled back. She blushed so sweetly, under my attention.

“No one is more beautiful then you Ruby. No one is more talented, smarter, funnier, sweeter, sexier, or more incredible. I wish I could wake up every single morning to you by my side. I want you to be my Mrs. Clark, to have red headed children with you. Have a big home in Montana, with two horses and wide fields of flowers. So I could watch you run through them, hear your laughter, see your joy. I will do everything in my power to make you smile, from now to forever. Even if I can only have you here. There will never be anyone else for me. Who could compare to you? You are my other half, the love of my life.”

She gazed at me, eyes filled with love and tears.

“Please find me.” She said and then she was gone.

I felt so empty with her gone, like she took all of me with her and left only the shell of my body and the ghost of her love.

“I will.” I told the wind, hoping that where ever she was, she could hear me.