Cracks in Reality

I stood in the school hallway and watched Dixie walk away from me after she said publicly we aren't friends. What kind of dumb stuff is that? I have to be your friend in private. I don’t think so, I told her. Count me out; she can just hang out with her new pep squad friends. I knew this day would come, the girl who was my best friend, and now is my adopted sister, is embarrassed to be seen with me. She is probably so grateful that we have different last names. I rolled my eyes and slammed my locker shut, it was only the first month of school and I was already counting the days until it was all over. I walked unseen past the school’s front doors and decided to end my school day early. I was already ahead in all my classes anyway, with my book bag on one shoulder I moved towards the car my ‘rent’s got me. It was a beautifully under stated Volkswagen Beatle convertible 50s edition, black in color. I adored this car.

I took two whole months talking them down from buying me a luxury car.
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“What about a BMW?”

“No.”

“A Cadillac?”

“No.”

“A Jaguar?”
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It went on like that for days, when they finally let me show them what I want they thought it was cute. So I won, I was grateful for that much. Since when it came to given me luxury items this was the only battle I have managed to win thus far. They have already bought me a Ipad, both a mini and a regular sized one, IPod touch, Iphone, a mac laptop and desktop, and way too many other things. I keep trying to tell them I am simple, and I just need the basics but I guess they are trying to make up for their absence or something.

When I went to open door to the driver's seat of Roxy (yes, I named my car), I saw Nicky in the passenger seat and freaked.

“Breaking and entering dude!” I opened the door. “How did you even know this was my car?”

“Don’t talk to me about crimes when you should be in class.” He laughed. “I knew this was your car because you have some chatty girls in your school. Now come on and take us out.”

“Cutting class is hardly a crime Nicky." I rolled my eyes. "What are you even doing here?”

I climbed into my car, closing the door and turning on the engine.

“I wanted to surprise you! I am bi-coastal Rubz, I have a parlor out here. Like a legit store front parlor.” I could see the excitement in his eyes. “So I will be living here three months, then back to New York for three months and so on. I probably live here in the winter since I could escape the cold. Then I will be back in the summers to wreck some havoc with you.”

“Congrats Loser, I am happy for you. How’d you manage to get a parlor?” I smiled at him.

“The parents got it for me. They have always supported my tattoo business. They just want me to keep coming back home. I took the deal. I think it’s a win win. Anyway I am down here to sign the papers; my apartment is right upstairs from the place. So I am all set.”

I admire Nicky’s relationship with his ‘parents’. They adopted him when he was about thirteen years old, and they loved him to death. When he turned 15 he was calling them mom and dad. He never acknowledges his birth parents; I knew that they were both drug addicts who abandoned him for their drug habits when he was six. I remember that when he told me the story, his face harden, making him seem like ice. That’s when I gave him the nickname of Nicky, to soften him up.

“That’s great Nicky, I was just thinking about a new tat.”

“Yeah, what would you like? Finally going to get that Nicky tattoo you have been dreaming about?” I laughed and punched him in his arm while driving.

“No Nicky,” I said through my laughter. “I don’t want any tattoo with your name on it. That would be a nightmare.”

He stuck out his tongue at me. Then he stared as we pulled up to a small record store. He didn't say anything he just stared, eyes glued to me as I parked. I could tell he had something to say but he kept his mouth shut. So instead of getting out of the car I turned to stare back at him. I went to ask him what’s up when he was kissing me. His lips pressed hard against me. I pulled away so fast I hit my head on the car window. I wanted to cry, he stole the first kiss that was meant to be James’.

“What the hell man?” I yelled on the verge of hysterics.

“Geez, I am sorry Rub, I just thought. . . “He trailed off.

“I am going to act like this never happened for the sake of our friendship but try and pull anything like that again I will make you pay. I have a boyfriend you know; James’ is going to kill me.” I rested my head on the steering wheel.

“I am really sorry Ruby, I was just playing around. Don’t tell Dixie okay?”

“What?” A wave of shock surged through me.

“Please, I didn't know. I thought I would catch your cheek but you turned so fast. Crap.” He raked his hand through his hair. “I am really into that bubblegum princess, with her virgin skin, and stupid blonde hair. I know it’s weird but there is something about her you know. I mean you are a totally fox but you are like my best bro. I am really sorry.”

Then I was laughing so hard that my body was in a fit of convulsions from the force. He likes Dixie, his opposite in every way, another thing that makes us so alike. I was so relieved that he didn't have feelings for me. We could just be friends and I won’t have to be all stressed about hurting him and stuff. He started laughing too, people passing by just stared at us like we were weirdos. Which I knew we, really and completely, are, weirdos that is. When the laughter died down we sat in the car comfortable silence.

“So Dixie, huh? I would have never guessed you were hooked on my evil sister.”

“So you guys finally stopped being friends huh? You were my only way to get to her. Guess its hopeless then.” He shrugged, “So who is James and how come you have never bothered to mention him before?”

I blushed, “Uhh. . . Well you see . . . it’s complicated.”

Nicky shrugged, “I am here when you are ready to talk about it.”

We went into the record store which is pretty much always deserted. People don’t care for vinyl records or even c.ds anymore. Everyone is so digital, but nothing beats this in my book. I browsed the sections with Nicky by my side; he was cracking jokes about his feeling for Dixie, when she walked in.

“Nick, I didn't know you were here.” She smiled at him, and gave him a fist bump, for a moment she was cool Dixie, my friend.

“Ruby, I have been looking everywhere for you. I am sorry about earlier I was being dumb. I know those girls will never have my back like you do.” She smiled and the three months of drifting closed with those words.

“I am glad you came to your senses D, I was about to punch some into you if you didn't stop.” I laughed and hugged her.

“Shouldn't you be in class?” Nick asked her, still so smooth, even though she caught us off guard.

I tried to see her through his eyes. She was very pretty; she has long shiny blonde hair and soft pink lips. Her complexion was more a golden hue now that we have lived here for a while. I marveled at her close set sea green eyes, surrounded by freckles. The gently slope of her nose only the start of this chicks curves. I never really took note before but Dixie was beautiful.

“I was out looking for Ruby; I had a good reason to wander.” She laughed lightly. “What are you doing here Nick?”

“I am signing paperwork for my tattoo parlor. I will be living here, half a year and in New York the other half. One of my friends who does tats too will live here when I am not, so he can run the show. I’ll probably give Ruby a job too.”

“No, she only draws when she is all alone. I was thinking of getting a tattoo , maybe now that you are out here I can.” She nudged me. “By the way, I went home to look for you and I saw that you got a letter.” She pulled an envelope out of her pocket. “Who is James Clark?”

I grabbed the enveloped and stared at the name printed on the top corner. My heart started to pound, the address was in Montana. My hands started to shake, he is real. My one and only, is real. I stared at that small white rectangle in disbelief and joy for so long that Nicky and Dixie stopped bothering to get my attention and started talking to Damien, the store owner. My world was frozen on the way my name looked in his handwriting; it was the first time I had ever seen that. The loop of the R, the way he wrote his ys, I was in awe of it all. I wanted to go home and read this note in private. He had found me just like he promised he would last week. James always keeps his promises.

“Hey, I know who James is.” Nicky exclaimed, “That’s Rub’s beau.” He faked a French accent and high pitched voice.

“A BOYFRIEND?” Dixie yelled. “What? And here I thought I had a single gal pal how could relate to my loveless pain and she has had a secret boyfriend this whole time.”

“I have waited my whole life for this letter.” I caught them off guard, with my tears of joy. “I knew he would find me. I have to go to him.”

“What? You can’t just leave now we have school and parents to answer too.”

“Today at dinner I will tell them, and then we head out in the morning. I have to see him.I have to be by his side. I am headed to Montana tomorrow morning with or without their okay. ”

"Wooh road trip!." Nicky yelled.

"You are not going without me." Dixie said to my back as I walked out of the store.

While I waited for them in my car, my thoughts raced. All the possibilities of what could happen when I see him. I was nervous, happy, scared, overjoyed, I felt so much I thought I was going to explode. James, my James, I rubbed my fingers over his handwriting. I will go to you James, and tonight I plan on telling you that.