Cracks in Reality

I woke up eager to write to Ruby, I wanted to prove to her there was no reason to mock that I could. I ran downstairs and told Grams' I had to write something before heading into town for her. She shooed me back into my room with all I needed in hand. I kissed her cheek and ran back upstairs. I started to pour out my feeling to Ruby right away. I hoped that the words would be enough to express my true emotions.

I put my pen down, and folded up the two sheets of paper that I would be sending to my Ruby. My grams caught me writing to a girl so picked out three pictures where she says I look too handsome to resist. She really is a sweet ole’ thing, my grandma is. So I added the pictures before sealing the whole thing up in my envelope. I hoped that Ruby would like the pictures; I hoped that the letter would make her smile. What I hoped above all was that she would get the letter, and she would respond so I could know that she was real. So she could confirm what my heart already knows to be true, it was my mind that had its doubts.

I carry the letter to town with me on an errand I am doing for grams before heading back home. I am sure my parents wouldn't mind waiting a little bit longer for me. I walk into the local post office and behind the counter is Leslie Bell Jenkins, the resident temp. She changed jobs faster than a coyote chased a rabbit.

“Howdy James.” She bats her baby blues at me, tossing her ash brown hair over her shoulder.

“Hello Lesbell, how’s working at the post office?”

“It my favorite job thus far.” She drawled, leaning towards me on the counter.

“That’s great to hear, listen I got me a letter I need you to handle with care and send out real quick like.”

Lesbell always brought out the hardcore country in me. It was probably her cowboy boots, and ten gallon hat. Her boots and hat were always coupled with a short skirt and tee shirts that were always a bit to snug on her. We all knew better then to let that get us thinking she was soft. No sir, Lesbell could go toe to toe with anyone who tried to put one past her.

“Anything for you James.” I ignored her comes on, smiled and tipped my hat as I went to store to get Grams some potatoes and bread.

"James," Lesbell shouted from behind me, "don't be shy come back and see me again soon you heard."

I knew how much Lesbell liked me, and I was sure if Ruby didn't make my world spin that I’d like her too. She was a nice enough gal with a good head on her shoulders but she would never be my Ruby. I thought of Ruby’s lips pressed against my cheek and had to fight the urge to run my hand against my un-kissed skin. I keep thinking of Ruby the whole time I drove my pick up home after saying bye to Grams. I could feel her closer to me than ever before. As if the simple act of writing her a letter made her that much more of a reality for me. I watched dusk set in and wondered what it would be like to see this with my girl.

I shook my head in protest to those thoughts. I didn't want to get my hopes up; I mean what if she doesn't like me as much out here? Worse yet, what if I did make her up? What if my Rubidium was a beautiful fantasy never to be obtained in life I lead outside of my dreams? What will become of me if I never hear back from her? I knew I would be on edge after I wrote the letter but this as crazy. I pulled in my driver way, grateful I put this address instead of Grams’. That meant I wouldn't have to wait as long to get my letter that one I hope so dearly would come.

I climbed up the stairs into my bedroom, my parents asleep on the couch with the television on. I smiled at the love I knew they shared, and imagined that being Ruby and me one day. We would be cuddled on the couch with the tube on, her head on my shoulder, my hand resting o her thigh. She would be trying to talk me into some crazy scheme she thought up. I would laugh to myself knowing at some point one of us would give in. It would be so perfect. It would be everything I ever wanted. I opened my bedroom door, and sighed heavily wishing I had asked for her email address instead. I threw myself in bed with my work clothes, slipping into a sleep that I know would take me to my one and only true love.