Dirty Work

Before lunch the next day, I caught up with Alex to see if we were still going to ask them. He hesitated a little bit then said yeah. After we all got our food and sat down Alex brought it up. As soon as he'd asked I saw Zack's face light up and both of them instantly said yes. Apparently Rian had been asked to join a band earlier in the week but he never gave them a definite answer. I don't blame him for wanting to be in a band full of his best friends rather than one where he only knows the vocalist. We decided to that practices would be after school at Alex's house any night we could. Starting tonight. Which meant I was probably going home with Alex after sixth. We all decided to ditch sixth hour and start practice earlier since we were all so excited. The car ride there was a little awkward but luckily we had music to help keep it from being too weird. We got straight to work and started off by showing them what we'd come up with yesterday. They loved it and Rian started coming up with his own beats for it, which made it even better. We started working on other songs and then I remembered seeing Lullabies in class but he never brought it out when we asked what else we could work on. Either he hadn't finished it yet or he didn't want us to see it. If I was right about who it was based on then the second option was most likely. Before we knew it, it was almost 6 and we all had to start heading home. His parents weren't in town so I stayed longer. My parents didn't really care and I figured it might help to hang out. We wound up ordering pizza and playing video games till it was close to midnight. He didn't really wanna drive so I called my house and told my parents I'd be spending the night at his house. We passed out on the couch with some horror movie on. He woke up at some point, I think it was around 3am, crying and started to wake up and figure out what happened but then he quickly turned so he was facing away from me and quieted his sobs. I didn't want to make him any more subconscious than he already was so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I was awakened by the smell of eggs and bacon. Alex had made breakfast burritos and they were freaking awesome. After breakfast we headed to my house and spent the rest of the day doing homework.

After weeks of practicing and recording some of our jam sessions and posting them on YouTube and MySpace, we started getting asked to play at local places. We haven't played one yet since the shows were never at a time that worked with our schedules. The last one we could have played but Alex had a sore throat and Rian had the stomach flu. With the band doing well Alex's mood has increased as well as his grades and effort. We have a show at a bar tonight that we're all really excited about as well as terrified. Tonight will be our first show and we still haven't really come up with a band name. We all ditched our sixth hour again and headed to Alex's to practice and prepare for the gig. By the time 7 rolled around we were all pumped up on coffee and couldn't wait to get this set going. When they asked us what our band name was, we all stared at each other with an 'oh crap' look. Alex quickly responded with "All Time Low" and we instantly loved it. The show was a complete blur and it was over all too soon. Afterwards we went out to dinner and asked where the band name came from. Apparently Alex had Head On Collision by New Found Glory stuck in his head and that lyric stuck out to him. We decided that was really cool, so we kept it. From now on our band was named All Time Low. While I was pulling into my driveway my phone started ringing and it was Alex. I quickly parked and answered.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Do you think you'd be able to come over for awhile... Or possibly spend the night?"
"Is everything alright?"
"Yeah.."
"I'll be over soon. I just need to run in, grab a change of clothes and tell them where I'll be, then I'll be right over."
"Thanks..."
"No problem. See you soon."
He didn't sound okay so I didn't know what I might be getting myself into but it couldn't be too bad. I quickly grabbed everything I needed and told my parents where I was. After everything was taken care of, I hopped into my car and got to Alex's. He opened the door and the first thing I noticed was his puffy, red eyes.
"Everything okay?"
"Sorta..."
"What do you mean?"
"I went into To....m's old room.. It brought back so many memories and a lot of pain... I sat on his bed and finished writing a song though.. I want you to see it.."
"Okay.."
"Here."
I took the paper and read through it. When I looked up again, I could tell he was fighting back tears. I broke the awkward silence by telling him how good the song was. We decided to stay away from that topic for a little while and played video games. Around 1 am we had started drinking and then tried to work on the guitar part of the song. That didn't really pan out but Alex offered up some new information on what happened with his brother and why he blamed himself.
"He.. We fought that night. I started yelling at him because he had promised me he'd try to get better. He promised he'd go to therapy and try to get help. He broke that promise to me and it became extremely upsetting. So I went off. His friend told me the day after he died that he'd gotten completely drunk, came home and passed out. Then he never woke up... I yelled at him and then lost him.. I can't seem to forgive myself for that night. That's why I completely changed afterward and why you could notice it when I came back."
"Just because you fought that night doesn't mean you were at fault for the rest of his actions.."
"He'd had other plans. He was going to go hang out with friends but after our fight he went to the bar alone. I don't know if he did it to spite me or because he thought it might help him feel better, but either way I caused things to go down. Jack, I'm a terrible person..."
"No, you're not. It's not like you're the one that forced him to drink. He chose to go get drunk. You shouldn't blame yourself for something that was out of your control."
"But I gave him a reason to go drink..."
"You had a fight. Everyone has fights. His way with dealing with the fight was to drink. That doesn't mean that you're at fault."
"I still feel bad about it though... Jack, the last time I talked to my brother I told him to stop being so fucking self-centered and to think about how his drinking was affecting the family.. And his little brother. I played the guilt trip card and that resulted in me losing my brother altogether. That's why I blame myself."
"Alex, you shouldn't blame yourself for that..."
"I know.. That doesn't change anything though...."
"I'm sorry you've gone through hell this past month and a half. I'm sorry you've had to deal with all of this shit but you shouldn't beat yourself up about it so badly.."
"It's fine... I've come to terms with it, to an extent anyway. Thanks for being here for me."
"Of course. I always will be, well at least until you don't want me to be anymore."
"You're one of my best friends, I don't think you're going anywhere anytime soon."
"That's good to know, haha"
"How about another beer? We're not that drunk and there's only three left, so what the hell?"
"Sure, but won't your parents care that all the beers gone when they get home?"
"They know me well enough to know I only have a couple and never get completely shit faced. Plus, alcohol takes longer to affect me so I can drink up to four before I start getting tipsy."
"Is that why you were fine at the party way back when?"
"Yep, I'd only had two while everyone else had like 8 or so.. haha"
"That explains it and I never apologized for puking all over your yard that morning."
"It's fine, a hose does magic I swear, haha I just have to be aware of where I'm aiming, we don't want that landing in the pool."
"Oh god no. That'd be foul."
"Exactly, haha Speaking of which, since we're bored, wanna go for a swim?"
"I don't have my swim trunks with me.."
"You can borrow a pair, if you want."
"Okay. While you go find that, I'll grab the beers."
"Already a step ahead of you. ...Shit!"
"What?"
"I can't find the one I was gonna let you borrow, I think it's in England.."
"Okay, I'll just go in a pair of shorts."
"I can't find mine either so I'll do the same."
With that we got changed and then went out back. I was already sitting in one of the chairs, drinking, by the time Alex came out. He was walking by me so I quickly picked him up and dropped him in the pool and the look he gave me when he resurfaced was the funniest thing. He tried to grab my foot but I jumped out of the way right before he made contact. He got out and started chasing me and then tackled me into the pool and we both started laughing for no reason. We kept that up for quite awhile and then we just started floating around the pool aimlessly. About 3ish we got out and dried off. I was drunk and oblivious by that time, since I'd had 5 beers and it only took three to make me tipsy. When we got inside I knew I was blabbering on about something stupid and then the next thing I knew we were hanging out in Alex's room and a certain group of words fell out of my mouth that I hadn't wanted to say yet. "I like you..a lot." He looked taken back by that so I quickly said sorry and tried to glaze over it. He didn't answer with words. Instead he kissed me and at first it was weird but then it kinda mellowed out and I savored that moment. The rest became a blur and I passed out. I still remember that kiss though.