The Time We Spent Is Now Gone, but Let's Get It Back

‘Alexander, Benjamin please, mommy is working.’ I tried to tell the twins to stop running around the office. Hannah, our new model and an amazing tattoo artist, my closest friend at the moment sighed and lifted Benjamin into her arms. Alexander climbed on my lap as I tried to arrange the orders that were coming to Drop Dead. After Oliver signed in to the rehab center I got the ownership of Drop Dead. Carol, Ian and Tom were helping me as much as they managed, but I normally told them to bugger off.

What comes to the twins, they both had same color hair as Oliver,same lips and chin, same attitude as well. They had my nose and eyes except that Alexander got my blue eyes and Benjamin got Oliver’s brown ones. Benjamin also was like his father’s twin. They both loved and hated the same things, like every morning Benjamin whined about not having pancakes just like Oliver used to and they both had that ridiculous smirk on their faces when they wanted something or when they saw something they liked.

Alexander had bad attitude and Hannah always told me he got it from me, which was possible, but I thought the attitude the little two years old had was a mixing of mine and Oliver’s. Alexander also was the mature one and he had the habit of sitting on tables and swinging his legs over the edge which he got from me, for sure.
‘C’mon boys, daddy is coming home tomorrow and mommy needs to arrange few things.’ Hannah cooed. Hannah was little taller than me, she had petit face structure and lovely eyes. She was absolutely the cutest human being on the face of earth, after my sons when they behaved. Hannah and I shared the same hairstyle, ‘Your ebony hair was on a thick braid, hanging over your right shoulder and your bangs were cut on a clean line above your eyebrows, making a perfect contrast against your ivory skin. Like Oliver once had said, when he was my best friend, when he was my whole world.

I put Alexander down on his feet and he ran to Hannah. ‘Okay, Alex, Ben, let’s help mommy clean the office, alright?’ and the boys nodded, they absolutely adored Hannah. The twins started to run around the office space, putting all the misplaced things on their rightful places. I don’t know where did it come from, but those two boys loved to clean, and sure as hell they didn’t get it from me nor Oliver.
‘Hey.’ Amanda peaked from the office door. I sent her a welcoming smile and she walked in. ‘Both two shops are under control and everything is perfect.’ She smiled and sat on the small couch. Amanda had just arrived from London where she was arraigning the new season arrival in both new shops we had with Carol, who soon walked into the office.

‘Gran.’ The twins yelled in unison and ran to their grandmothers arms.
‘How’s my little knob heads?’ Carol laughed. She hadn’t changed a bit. She talked to my boys like she talked to her own, which I found amusing. ‘Uncle Tom is getting daddy home right now.’ She smiled to the boys. Alexander started to jump up and down yelling ‘Daddy’ while Benjamin just smirked widely. The boys were just one when I forced Oliver to the rehab.

Every night when the lads weren’t on tour, Oliver walked into my apartment which at the time I shared with Lee. Oliver was either high or drunk and I couldn’t let the boys see that, so I didn’t let him see them, which got him normally really pissed and he got into many fights with Lee, who in the end had no strength to face Oliver anymore, so he left me. That night when Lee left, I decided to take Oliver to the rehab, wanted it or not. We made a deal with everyone we knew that if the twins ask, Oliver was working on the other side of the country for a year. So that’s what the boys thought and I was never going to tell them the truth.

‘Curtis will move back to his place tonight.’ I sighed. Curtis was the only one from the lads that had strength to fight Oliver and take care of the twins, so when I had moved to Oliver’s loft with his dog, Oscar and my boys, I asked Curtis to move in with me for a year.
‘He already did, he asked me to give the key to you.’ Carol put Benjamin on the floor and threw me the key that once was Oliver’s.
‘Okay twats; let’s go home, I’m going to finish this up when you sleep.’ I sighed closing the lid of my lap top.

‘I swear to god, I thought the first word they learn was going to be twat or fuck.’ Amanda laughed and hold the door open for us.
‘Me too.’ I weakly laughed.



‘Goodnight.’ I kissed the foreheads of the awful brats I had as sons. I love them over everything, but time to time they acted just like their father. I got quiet snores as answers and turned off the lights. I left the door open, just so I would hear if one of them would wake up.

I walked straight to the open kitchen ‘Oscar.’ I quietly called the miniature Doberman pinscher. It didn’t take long when he ran to the kitchen; tail wiggling back and forth as I started to put food into his bowl. After that I sat beside the island in the middle of small space and continued working from where I had stopped at the office. I sent e-mails through the night to the bands that were in our Drop Dead family, until the clock hit six in the morning. This wasn’t the first night I spent doing work.

When I went check on the boys they were both already up, knowing that Oliver would be home in few hours. Oscar was lying on Alexander’s bed, watching as the almost three year olds got dressed. It was fun to watch how they compared different outfits and ended dressed in exactly same clothes.
‘You two are you ready?’ I laughed, scaring the twins.
‘Mommy.’ They giggled and ran to hug my legs.



I made pancakes to the boys and while they were eating, the band walked into the loft, using the spare key I had hidden under the mat in front of the front door. While Oliver was in the rehab, Jona had left the band and Matt had asked their friend, Jordan to join. Oliver knew all this and they had made songs while visiting him, all they had to do was to record them and this time the lads were staying in England to do that.

‘Tom called; they are here in twenty minutes.’ Lee hugged me and then the twins. Alexander and Benjamin loved their uncles and always demanded to have playtimes with them.
‘Mind feeding Oscar?’ I patted Vegans back and he nodded. I had twenty minutes to get dressed and luckily I didn’t need shower.

‘I remember when you walked in from those doors. I had never seen a bird like you. Your ebony hair was on a thick braid, hanging over your right shoulder and your bangs were cut on a clean line above your eyebrows, making a perfect contrast against your ivory skin. You didn’t have that awful color puke makeup that the other girls used; yours was just a simple winged black line above the eyes and that blood red lipstick that fit you perfectly, making other girls jealous. You were wearing a black knee high dress which had sleeves, making everyone think you were some goody two shoes, but when you walked past me and I smelled the cigarettes, I knew you weren’t.’ I smiled to the memory of what Oliver had told me day before the day when everything changed. I decided to go for the same look when Oliver first saw me. I had to admit, but only for myself, I might have fallen in love with my best friend over the thirteen years we have known.

The twenty minutes went faster than I thought and I was still getting dressed when I heard the front door open. I tensed when I heard his voice.
‘I’m home.’ He called carefully. Next thing I heard was the twins yelling their father. I quickly zipped the dress and made my way downstairs.
Lads were surrounding Oliver as he stood back towards me. His hair was shorter and it looked good on him.
‘Where’s mommy?’ He asked, holding Benjamin in his arms while Alexander hugged his leg and Oscar jumping against him.
‘Hey Oliver.’ I almost cried, making him turn around, that idiotic smirk on his face.
‘I’m better now, for you, for the boys, for the band.’ He whispered and handed Benjamin to Tom, before he ran to me, pulling me into a tight embrace.
Tears ran down my cheeks, soaking his shirt. ‘I missed you.’