You Were Always on My Mind

“Are you ready to go Samantha?” My mom asks, shuffling through my bags for the third time. Her blonde wavy hair is pulled back into a short ponytail today, small pieces have already fallen out although it's only ten in the morning. My mom's blue eyes glisten with unshed tears. She has never been this sad about me leaving, but that's probably because Alex isn't here to comfort her.

“Yes, mom. I already checked through those bags,” I answer. I'm going to Washington for the summer... for the ninth year in a row. “I’m only going to be gone for three months.”

“I know, but you might change your mind about coming back home,” she apologizes coming up to me and hugging me. She doesn't want to let me go and I just stand there, hugging her back and letting her hug me for as long as she needs. I've learned to just let her hug it out with me, Alex was better with soothing words.

“Even if I did stay with him for the school year, I would visit a lot more than Alex does.” Alex is my older brother who left for college last summer. He lives with my dad in La Push, Washington and he has visited about three times since he left. “Well my taxi’s here.”

My mom helps me put the luggage in the taxi then squeezes me close to her. There's a feeling of finality in the hug. The tears finally slip down her cheeks and I try and leave before she starts to have a breakdown.

“Bye mom! I love you.”

“Bye sweetheart, love you too!”

I slide into the taxi and text all my friends for the last time before I leave the state. I’ve been going to my dad’s house every summer since I was 8, the year after my parents got divorced. We always had the house for vacations in La Push where we could enjoy the beach while visiting with family and friends. The divorce was as simple as it gets. Both of my parents are doctors and make enough money to provide for themselves and two kids. We owned two houses, so my dad decided to leave since most of his family lived near La Push. Alex and I always visit my dad so there were no problems in custody and my parents are still on good terms.

After about thirty minutes of driving, the taxi pulls up to the drop off terminal. If my mom didn't have work, she would have driven me, but she had already pushed back the time she was supposed to be in. It's weird not having Alex here to help me with my bags and to keep me company, but the taxi driver is very helpful today. She helps me get my suitcases onto the luggage cart and even wishes me a safe trip. After tipping her, I look at my watch and notice that I still have an hour until the plane boards. I check-in my bags and ticket, then board as soon as flight 376 is called, ready to depart.

My friends Amy, Becka and Nicole usually keep me updated on what's going on in La Push. They tell me how Adam, Johnny, and Nick are all doing and how the football team is since all of the guys I talk to in La Push play. We have all been friends since we were little kids. Jacob, who I've known since we were in diapers, sometimes hangs out with them and when he does, Nicole would always tell me how he’s doing at the time. She is convinced that I like Jacob and I wouldn't be shocked if the others thought so too.

Usually, it would be the three of us over the summer: Jake, Alex and I; but Alex was too busy preparing for college last summer. I ended up spending most of my time with Jacob. He took me to all the spots I wanted to visit and came over almost every day with his dad Billy, and we would eat dinner as one big happy family. Afterwards, my dad and Billy would watch a sports game while Jake and I either watched a movie in the extra room or played some old game from when we were little kids; monopoly was my favorite board game to play. I really miss Jacob and that goofy grin of his. That summer, he became closer with my friends so that we could spend more time together. Nick happened to like me last summer and always tried to hang out with me when I wasn’t with Jacob, which wasn't often, but I avoided spending time alone with him. Becka still claims that Nick can’t keep a long relationship anymore because he’s too in love. I, on the contrary, do not believe a single word she says about him.

I spend most of the flight reading "The Guardian" and listening to country music. I had my little row all to myself and I got to sit in the window seat, staring at the surroundings below. The flight only takes about three hours to reach Port Angeles and an hour drive to get to La Push.

“Please put on your seat belts, we will be landing soon in Port Angeles,” the flight attendant announces. I put my seatbelt on and clear my mind awaiting my arrival in Port Angeles then La Push.

As soon as the plane lands and everyone gets off the plane, I hastily rush through the airport procedures to see my family. I grab my bags and head toward the exit my dad always waits at. My dad, Alex, my beautiful cousin Emily, her fiancée Sam, Billy, and Jacob all stand waiting for me. I drop my bags next to my dad then hug everyone. Everyone looks the same except for Jacob. He still has those big brown eyes, but his face seems to be chiseled and he’s quite a few inches taller than he was last summer. He has a lean build and that same kind smile.

“Jacob I almost didn’t recognize you for a minute,” I tell him chagrined by my stupid mistake,” you’ve changed a lot since last year.”

“So have you,” he replies chuckling. It was that husky laugh that I’ve always loved so much; it was just so contagious. I quickly wrap my arms around him. He doesn’t move for a few seconds then he embraces me in one of his warm hugs that I always look forward to.

“I have a surprise for you today,” my dad informs me as he leads me to his Mercedes. I’m not expecting much since he's really bad at surprises.

“You’ll actually like this one a lot sis,” Alex whispers before I get into the car. Now I was curious.

Everyone heads toward my house for the welcoming home party that my dad throws every year. This year it was all for me, instead of Alex and I. Once we reach the house, my dad and Alex insist on taking my bags upstairs while I freshen up, they’ve always treated me like a princess. I go to the bathroom and notice my hair has stayed in place, which is hard to do with curly hair. My navy blue dress makes the blue flecks in my gray eyes pop out and they seem to be more of a light blue rather than their usual gray.

I start hearing people accumulate downstairs so I rush down to greet everyone. I immediately spot my friends gathered at the bottom of the stairway. I hug each of them individually. Nick hugs me a little longer than I wanted and I realize that Becka was actually right about him still liking me. I excuse myself for a minute to greet some more relatives and family friends. They all comment on how much I’ve grown and how beautiful I was getting, just as older people always do.

Once I finish speaking to everyone, I search for my friends and find them sitting outside on the benches my dad made for big events. Jacob had finally joined the group, although he’s on a bench all by himself. I sit next to him and he smiles down at me with that cute goofy smile.

“So how was life here without me?” I ask hoping to hear more embarrassing stories. My friends are some of the goofiest and clumsiest people.

“Johnny got tackled by a wave!” Nick quickly responds. He was always the first to throw anyone under the bus.

“Nick!” Johnny exclaims then punches him while everyone watches and laughs. Jacob’s husky laugh brings me back to last summer.

“Johnny, I already know! Adam told me all about,” I inform him. He blushes, embarrassed, then joins in on the laughing, reflecting on the memory.

“What can I say, I’m hopeless without you Sammy,” he claims coming up to me and getting down on one knee, ”Sammy will you be mine?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I tease back with a smile on my face. He picks me up and spins me around.

“She said yes!!!” Johnny exclaims then kisses my cheek and sets me down. “In your face, Nick!”

After we get too hungry to carry on a conversation, we get some hamburgers and hot dogs that my dad and Billy had grilled, then continue to catch up on the past year. The girls talk about the dances and their past relationships and ask me about what dates and dances are like in California. The boys talk about sports all trying to one up each other and claim that they could beat any guy in San Diego, my hometown. Jacob, shockingly stays pretty quiet, not even trying to impress me with any football stories.

“Sammy your surprise is here,” my dad informs me as he passes by with another tray of hot dogs.

Jacob gets up first and leads me to the driveway as everyone else in my group trails along. I hear two car doors close and spot Bella and Charlie as I round the corner.

“Bella! Charlie!” I exclaim a little too loudly. I quickly hug Charlie, one of my dad’s best friends, and then tightly squeeze Bella. “I finally see some color on your skin besides white! Even in California you didn’t seem to get tan!”

“Maybe my skin likes rain and clouds more,” Bella replies laughing.

“Hey Belles, it’s been a while,” Jacob greets as he gives her a bear hug.

“You’ve gotten taller since the last time I saw you Jake,” Bella comments staring him up and down, “and much more muscular. Are you trying to win a wrestling competition or something?”

“So I’m not the only one that noticed,” I point out then turn toward my friends,” Bella this is Amy, Becka, Nicole, Johnny and Nick. You guys this is Bella.” They all greet Bella like an old friend.

"That's not all the surprise," Bella claims going to the back of the pick up. Charlie brings down a cage and opens the door to reveal an Alaskan Malamute.

"Your dad asked me to pick him up on the way here," Charlie informs me as I get down on my knees to call the puppy toward me. She starts to wag her tail and clumsily runs her way over to me. My dad comes up behind me with Alex.

"Like the present?" my dad asks.

"Of course I do!" I exclaim hugging him.

"What are you gonna name her?"

"Shadow," I inform him and pick her up. She's a little heavier than I expect, but she fits perfectly in my arms.

We head back to our benches with my new little friend. My dad and Alex had put out some blankets and lanterns while we had been greeting Bella and Charlie. Everyone goes to their same bench, while Bella joins Jacob, Shadow and I. We continue to talk as the night progresses. As the clock nears 11, I’m now spending more time saying goodbye to the guests than chatting with my friends. Shadow follows me, immediately taking a liking to her surroundings. All of the adults except my dad, Billy, Charlie, Emily and Sam had to leave due to work and kids that needed sleep. Becka had left with her uncle, but everyone else in the group agreed to spend the night. Alex decides to join us after his friends leave.

“Hey Jake, we should take them to the old campsite,” Alex suggests after the last few adults leave.

“Emily and I will join you guys,” Sam offers as he approaches us, fingers interlocked with Emily’s.

“We know all of the stories,” Emily chimes in with an eager smile.

Sam and Emily lead all of my friends to the campsite while Alex, Jacob and I go get the camping gear. I quickly change into a pair of old jeans and a flannel then head over to Jake’s since he has more camping gear than we do. We quickly head to the campsite, Shadow right behind us, hoping we didn’t miss the best of the stories, even though we know them all by heart. Memories flash back to childhood when I helped my dad and Alex build this. Jacob had also joined halfway through the process. Every year we would all camp out here, but when I was 13 my dad stopped joining us unless I begged him to go. Last year, Jacob and I came here a lot and just gazed at the stars in peace. I never wanted to go alone so he always offered to tag along.

The campsite was in a large meadow. We had created a small hole where the fire pit lies and stacked some of the larger rocks from the beach around it. We took the logs from some of the fallen trees and created some benches. There was just enough space on the outskirts to put three large tents.

We all quickly decide on tents, three to four people per tent. Everyone wants to be with me, but I decide to be with Jacob, Bella and Shadow since Bella doesn’t really know anyone else. Amy and Nicole choose to be with Emily and Sam, since they want someone older in the tent. Adam, Nick, and Johnny always insist that they stay together and they ended up with Alex. We quickly set up our tents since everyone except Bella grew up outdoors. Afterwards, we gather around the fire in the same groups we had at the benches. Alex, Sam, and Emily sit at the highest log since they are the storytellers for the night. I sit in between Bella and Jake, but I’m shaking from the cold even in my blanket. Shadow curls up at my feet, warming up my toes. Jake shares his blanket with me then wraps an arm around me while scooting closer. I curl up close next to my personal heater.

“Thanks Jake,” I whisper, resting my head against his shoulder. I look up and spot Nick staring at Jacob menacingly, then look toward Alex.

“No problem,” he whispers back.

We listen to the stories of the Quileutes and Makahs. Both tribes had shape shifters that protected them. The Quileutes turned into wolves and killed the cold ones. The Makah turned into bears and looked out for the people of the reservation, informing the Quileutes when they spotted danger. The Makah were barely capable of killing the cold ones, so they relied on the strength of the Quileutes. Some Makah were extraordinary healers, the elders claimed it was a special talent passed on through the generations and that very few Makah get this ability. Legend says that the Quileutes only transform if the Makah spot danger. The Makah transform every other generation around the age of seventeen or eighteen. They keep an eye out for danger. Everyone in the group is either a Makah or a Quileute except for Bella. We grew up listening to the stories, but no one actually believes them.

As the fire starts to die down, one by one, people start heading to their tents. Jacob and I are the last ones out, chatting about what we could do this summer.

“I will get you to go cliff diving this year,” Jake whispers smiling, ”you do gymnastics! This can’t be that much scarier!”

“Jake, gymnastics is completely different, I’m not cliff diving,” I answer back.

“Just do a back tuck or front layout into the water,” he suggests teasingly.

“ Do you even know what a layout is?”

“I’ve been to a few of your competitions. Also, whenever you would practice, Alex would tell me the name of the move you were doing.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Finally!” Jake grins down at me. When the fire finally dies we head to our tent. I sleep next to Bella and Shadow while Jacob sleeps in front of the tent entrance to protect us from any raccoons.

As I doze off, dreams of the previous summer overtake my mind. I dream about the random adventures with my friends. I used to watch as they all jumped off the cliff and the guys always tried to toss me in. Nick ended up kissing me at the end of summer, catching me off guard. No wonder why he won't stop bugging me. I reminisce on the memories of Jake and I. He would fall asleep in the extra room while I pulled an all nighter watching all of the princess movies. As I fall deeper into sleep, the dreams become less vivid.