You Were Always on My Mind

“We left your dad the note,” Carlisle informs me. The smell isn’t as strong and I can actually manage to sit in their living room.

“Thank you,” I tell him truly grateful that he went through the trouble of doing it.

“You should really think about going home,” Esme tells me sitting next to me.

“Not yet, Jake has to go through his transformation first,” I inform her, “I messed things up so I’m going to leave some space between myself and everyone who’s mad at me. I can’t even be there for the transformation.”

“At least call your dad,” Carlisle suggests.

“Okay, I will,” I reply. He quickly gets up and gets me his cell phone. I call my dad’s cell and he answers almost immediately. Carlisle and Esme leave the room giving me privacy.

“Is she alright Carlisle?” My dad asks panicked.

“I’m fine daddy,” I answer, my voice cracking.

“Why don’t you just come home?” He asks.

“Everyone’s mad at me. I caused Jake’s transformation and I talked to the Cullens,” I tell him. My voice waivers and I feel like I’m going to cry.

“If you really don’t want to come home, you don’t have to… But, I really think you should come home and I really miss you,” my dad tells me. I think about it for a minute.

“I’ll come home,” I decide.

“Thank you, sweetheart. Hopefully I’ll see you by dinner,” my dad answers then hangs up. Carlisle and Esme casually walk back into the room.

“So?” They ask as though they hadn’t heard anything and I laugh a little.

“I’m heading back home today,” I inform them and Esme sits next to me, patting my knee. Her hands are ice cold against my skin.

“Not that we didn’t enjoy your company, but it’s good that you’re going home,” Esme says smiling at me.

“Thanks for letting me stay here although it caused some problems,” I thank them. Rosalie and Jasper were not very fond of my presence, but Emmett, Alice, and I became pretty close.

“Anytime,” Carlisle informs me, smiling at me the same way my dad does.
***
I phased then came home. When I enter my house, Alex is no where in sight, but I hear my dad cooking. I peep in and see that he’s cooking some fish and garbanzo beans with a side of potatoes, my favorite.

“Hey daddy,” I say knocking on the wall.

“Hey Sammy,” my dad greets putting his spatula down and coming over to hug me. He squeezes me tight for a good minute, but only pulls back to look at me. “You could have told me where you were sooner.”

“I couldn’t do it, so I just left.”

“Let me finish dinner then we’ll talk, okay? Go curl up under a blanket and watch TV.”

I do as he says and find Law & Order: SVU, my favorite show on television. After about thirty minutes, my dad comes in with two plates of fish, potatoes, and garbanzo beans. He sets down the plates then gets a pepsi for me and a beer for himself. I curl up next to him as I eat my food and drink my soda.

“So why the Cullens?” My dad asks after he finishes the last of his beer, feet up on the coffee table.

“I don’t know. You guys would be able to smell me if I came near and Bella sucks at secrets, so the Cullens were there. They were kind except for two of the kids who do not like me at all. Well one hates me, the other is new to the lifestyle.”

“And they just let you in with open arms? After only knowing you for two days?”

“Yeah dad, it was really nice of them although I slept outside the first two nights and didn’t really go inside because of the smell.”

“And you didn’t tell me why?”

“Billy was really mad at me and I thought you would be too…”

“I will never be mad enough to the point where I want you out of the house. I thought you were a little reckless with Jacob, but I wasn’t mad at you,” he tells me wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “Just give me a little heads up or something. I went crazy looking for you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be, but you should also see Jake tonight. I’ll make sure no one else is there. He’s been worried sick too. He also has yet to phase yet but he’s only a few days away until he will.”

“Ugh, why can’t the pain just be over with? How bad has it been?”

“You leaving was definitely not beneficial. He’s in a lot of pain and his body is hotter than most. Only Paul had a higher temperature but Paul has a bigger temper.”

“And of course, I screw it up again.”

“When Jacob sees you tonight, it will definitely help.”
***
After my dad gives me the signal, I walk into the clearing. Jake is inside the tent and doesn’t know I’m coming. I seriously feel like Pocahontas right now when she visits John Smith in the tent.

“Jake,” I say hoping he’s awake and not in too much pain. His eyes immediately open and he tries to get up, but his body won’t let him. “No, stay down.”

“Where were you?” He asks as I approach him. He grabs my hand as fast as he can and holds on. I see the pain in his eyes.

“I was at the Cullens. They let me stay there and even lied to my dad for me. Sorry I didn’t tell you, but I caused all of this…”

“Sammy, stop. It was going to happen eventually, don’t apologize for things that are bound to happen.” He squeezes my hand. The connection to him is stronger than ever. I kiss him softly on the lips. “That makes me feel better.”

“You’re burning up though,” I comment. I lay down next to him and he slowly wraps an arm around me and holds me close. I hear his heart pound fast as my head rests on his chest. The heat is radiating from him, but he’s not shaking as bad as he was when I left. I contemplate falling asleep in his arms like this, but decide against it until my dad comes into the tent just in case he needs anything.

“You can sleep, I’m not phasing any time soon with you around here,” Jake says. I would usually want a blanket, no matter how hot it is, but Jake just warms me up perfectly and I don’t want to get up. I easily drift off in his arms.
***
“Sammy, get up,” my dad whispers into my ear. I almost jump up awake, scared out of my skin. Jacob is lying next to me, an arm limply around me, and fast asleep. “Get out of bed.”

“Sorry, what time is it?” I apologize getting up and yawning. I slept for a really long time.

“It’s 6 in the morning, but you knocked out at 8 last night. I gave him some tea that helps him sleep painlessly,” my dad informs me. He gives me a blanket, and we walk out of the tent.

“So, how is he?” I ask.

“His fever went down three degrees because of you and he wasn’t shaking at all when I found you asleep in his arms. He said he felt better with you around and that he didn’t mind the extra body heat and crowded cot,” my dad tells me trying to hide a smile.

“Well that’s all good I guess, less suffering. How long does he have?”

“One more day if not tonight. I don’t really want you around here today, but I’ll give you till noon with him. At noon, head over to Billy’s he’s making lunch for Alex and I and I want you to be the one to say that you’re back.”

“He doesn’t want me over,” I state in a monotone voice.

“He’s changed his mind about it,” my dad informs me. Sensing the end of the conversation, I head back into the tent. I didn’t see Alex slip in while I was talking to my dad and almost screamed.

“Hey, be quiet he needs to sleep,” Alex says then gets a sad look on his face realizing it was me. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t helpful when the whole Jacob thing happened.”

“I’m back home now, so it’s fine…”

“It’s not fine. I’m your older brother and I should’ve looked out for you. When I saw you go into the garage, I should’ve followed you and talked to you before you ran away.”

“Honestly Alex, don’t worry about it. I was with the Cullens and they kept me safe and fed.” For once, he doesn’t look mad when I say the Cullens name; he looks grateful.

“I’m glad someone actually looked out for you,” he replied hugging me then leaves the tent. I get back on the cot trying not to wake Jacob and fall back asleep.

When I wake up again, I find him staring down at me with a large smile on his face.

“No one else had to wait to get this feeling when they imprinted. I don’t know why we’re so different. I know what you’re talking about though. That pull, that connection.” He kisses my lips gently then goes back to smiling at me.

“It feels stronger now. It hurt so bad to be away from you. Carlisle thought I had hurt myself because I was trying so hard to cover the pain. Edward didn’t even realize what was going on.”

“I’m glad they looked after you, but you still need a good shower.”

“Oh, don’t be so harsh. I got used to the smell, you can too.”

We lay on the cot resting for the next hour. My dad comes to get me when it’s noon. As soon as he leaves the tent, I kiss Jacob passionately knowing I won’t be able to see him for a few days. He tries to pull me closer to him, but I pull away.

“I’ll see you in a few days, stay strong,” I tell him kissing his cheek then leave.

I head over to Billy’s just like I’m told to do. Luckily, Alex accompanies me or else it would’ve been super awkward.

“Samantha?” Billy asks as I enter the house. He’s a little surprised, but he looks really relieved. “I’m glad you’re back home.”

“Thanks Billy, sorry I caused so much trouble…”

“Don’t worry about it, just come over here and give me a big hug,” Billy says smiling at me. Everything is smoothed over with him thankfully. I give him a hug and he holds on longer than I expect him to; he really did miss me.

“Can I help with anything?” I ask.

“Um, you can set the table, I’ve got the cooking under control,” Billy says.

Alex and I help set the table. Within thirty minutes, the food is cooked and my dad is back from the campsite.

“I think he’s going to go through the transformation real soon. I was expecting Embry to be first, but the whole situation caused Jacob to go through it real fast. Jared and Sam are there to help him since Paul has no patience,” my dad informs Billy as we sit around the small, cozy, dining table.

“I wouldn’t want Paul around him anyways, he’s careless. And Embry will get a lot of help from Jacob, he’s much more patient especially with Embry so that will be helpful toward him. Rachel was supposed to be home this week, but I told her she has to postpone it for another week or so.”

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen Rachel. It’s too bad that you had to postpone the trip since she went to Washington State.”

“It was hard with her mom’s death and all. The twins just couldn’t deal with it and they didn’t really know what happened. They think she died in a car crash.”

It got quiet and we tried to enjoy our lunch. I knew why he hated the Cold Ones, but I couldn’t hate the Cullens, the people who saved him.They helped me too and risked breaking the treaty because of me.

“Jake’s going through the transformation,” Jared says bursting through the door panting. Alex and I run out in separate areas and take off our clothes then phase. My dad, I suppose, helps get Billy out to the campsite, as close as he can get. I hear Alex’s thoughts and Becka’s, she must be on watch.

“Jake’s phasing,” I inform her since she is very confused. She stays clear of the meadow, but keeps a closer watch on the area.

As soon as I reach a mile from the clearing, I feel the pull toward him. I run faster, but stay hidden in the woods. I see his wolf form, his russet brown fur short due to his new hair cut. He notices me, but Sam tells him to stand down. Jacob’s body is shaking. I see Jared run into the clearing clumsily, new to the whole process of transformation. I see the intense stare in Sam’s eye as he instructs Jacob, but he keeps looking over at me. I slowly start to walk into the clearing.

“SAM! Stay back!!” Alex exclaims and Sam barks at me. I start to hear what Jacob’s thinking, something about the imprint I bet. I continue to slowly creep closer.

“Jake, just relax,” I tell him. I can tell that he hears me. He plants his feet afraid of what will happen. This is the first time he’s seen me in this state and he could possibly kill me, great.

“Samant…” I hear Billy call afraid, but my dad stops him. I look at Jacob, into those intelligent brooding brown eyes of his.

“Just, stay calm. Breathe. You don’t want to hurt me so try and control yourself.”

His body tightens more, I see his muscles strain as he tries not to make a single move. Stupid Sam probably scared him into thinking that he’s going to hurt everyone, it’s only happened twice. Jacob tries not to think and tries not to move. Again, I move closer to him. He is bigger than I am, but Sam is still larger than him and could easily come between us. I get close enough that I could easily reach out and touch him.

“Sammy, stop being stupid!” Alex exclaims. I know that Sam is thinking the same thing, but we can’t communicate. I nudge up against Jacob, and if it’s even possible, he tightens up more. After a few seconds his body loosens, realizing that he isn’t a harm. His legs are shaky and he falls to the ground, probably still in pain. I walk toward the edge of the clearing and I let Sam take care of the rest. Within a week, he will know how to control himself.