You Were Always on My Mind

I wake up, back in my room, to the door opening.

"Hey Jacob," a female voice says softly. At first, I think I'm dreaming, the last time I heard that voice, I was 11.

"Rachel?" I ask and pinch my arm. It hurts.

"Yeah, it's me," Rachel says coming onto my bed. "You really need a new bed, your legs are hanging off the end."

"Tim offered to buy me a new one, but dad said no."

"Tim is always trying to help out. How are his kids anyways?"

"Alex is at University of Washington and Samantha is visiting for the summer."

"Oh yeah, him and Lily aren't together anymore. She's probably really pretty now."

"She's better than pretty," I say chuckling a little. She gives me a confused look. "We're dating."

"Oh! I always knew you two would end up together! When do I get to see her again?"

"Tim's making breakfast, we should head over there with dad."

"Okay, let's go!"

Rachel, dad, and I head over to Sammy's house. Sammy's on the porch swing reading when we cross the driveway.

"Hey Sammy!" I call out and she almost falls off the swing. She quickly sets the book down and runs over to me. This is the first day she's been able to see me in a week.

"You're finally feeling better," she comments. She notices my height difference of about three inches.

"Yeah, look who came to visit," I say directing her attention toward Rachel.

"Rachel? Hey it's been so long," Sammy greets coming up to her and hugging her. Rachel gives me a look of approval. Sammy even hugs Billy since she's in such a good mood.

"You've grown a lot. I wonder how Alex looks since you've changed so much," Rachel comments. Sammy's wearing tighter clothes today that show off what puberty did for her. She walks over to me and holds my hand with a huge smile on her face.

"He's inside. Do you guys mind if we have a moment alone?" Sammy asks shyly. My dad just chuckles.

"Of course Samantha," he tells us. Rachel helps my dad up the ramp then Sammy wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me deeply.

"I've missed you so much, too much for just a week," Sammy says laughing a little.

"I've missed you a lot too, especially with this new connection," I tell her kissing her. If my family weren't just inside the house, I would do so much more to her.

"Let's head in before people start peeping out the window," Sammy suggests leading me inside.

We eat breakfast as a large family, just like in the old days. Everyone around me is happy, and I'm really happy too. After breakfast, Sammy and I clean up while everyone else heads to the living room. We quickly do the dishes so that we can sneak off for a while and have some alone time.

"Hey dad, we're gonna go for a quick walk," Sammy tells Tim, and Rachel looks at us weirdly.

"That's fine, try not to take too long," he says with a stern voice, but in the end a smile slips through.

"Are they always like this?" I hear Rachel ask thanks to my new ears.

"Jake was really sick for the past week which is why I put off you coming home. No one was allowed with him, even Sammy so they're just making up for lost time," my dad answers chuckling.

Sammy quickly leads me to the garage through the woods so that no one expects us to be in there. We go to our little couch which is much smaller thanks to the transformation.

"We really need to get a new one. Would you mind if I asked my dad, I don't trust that junkyard and it'll help a local business," Sammy suggests.

"Maybe, just don't make it super nice. I swear, I'll have to be rich to provide for your wants," I say laughing and she just rolls her eyes.

Sammy lies down on the couch and I lean against her. I see the desire burn in her eyes and she's not satisfied with simple kissing, but neither am I. Quickly things start to get hot and heavy in the room. As the kisses get longer and our bodies get closer I can't help but hold her body tightly against mine. My skin gets hotter as her hands slide under my shirt and across my skin. I start to unbutton her flannel, trying to remove some of the heat radiating from our bodies. As soon as I can't catch my breathe I pull away.

"Hey there," she says smiling up at me.

"You're pushing all the buttons," I warn her but she just laughs.

"I'm sorry," she says still laughing. She contemplates putting her flannel back on, but just puts it next to the couch. She looks up at me with those gray eyes that are so patient.

"Why do I have like the hottest girlfriend ever?" I ask smiling.

"Probably because your girlfriend has the hottest boyfriend ever. I mean, have you felt your skin recently?" She asks laughing and winks at me.

I lean in and kiss her slowly. I pull her body close to mine, feeling a gravitational pull her closer as well. She wraps her arms around my neck, playing with my hair and sending small chills down my back. When she gently bites on my lip, a warm sensation fills my body. We make out on the couch for what feels like eternity but is actually twenty minutes.

"We should get back," I tell her getting off the couch. She puts her flannel back on and I put my shirt back on that “slipped off” in the process. We walk back to her house holding hands and wiping the sweat that covers our faces. Everyone's still in the living room and we sit on our couch, still big enough for the two of us. Sammy leans against me and I wrap my arms around her as we watch the football game. She's much quieter than usual, she seems content just to be here and I know that I'm just happy to have her with me. Halfway through the game, she falls asleep and I rest a blanket on her curled body, head resting on my chest. After the game, the guys clear out of the room and do what they need to do.

"So how long have you two been dating?" Rachel asks, "I've kind of missed a lot."

"About a month or two," I tell her, we didn't bother to celebrate any early anniversaries, we were meant to be together for the rest of our lives and a month is so short compared to that.

"Yet you're that touchy?" Rachel asks a little appalled. She never liked touchy couples especially at the beginning of their relationship.

"We've basically been talking since last summer, and we've been together since we were in diapers."

"I guess that's true, but I don't know, you just seem like a happily married couple with the way you're together, there's just something mature about it. You're not having sex yet right?" Rachel asks with a stern look on her face.

"We are going to wait quite some time before that, don't worry," I answer laughing. “Sammy and I had talked about it and she wanted to get through most of college if not until marriage just because she didn’t want anything getting between education and her such as a baby."

"That's smart. I don't even think Rebecca went to college when she got married and went to Hawaii, but I guess her husband has money."

"Sammy already has it all planned out. She's going to University of Washington and she's going to major in nursing and become a pediatric nurse."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure, maybe something with cars."

"Don't worry about it, just find places to apply to and go in undeclared then figure it out while you're in college."

"Thanks Rachel."

"Anytime. I've missed out on a lot in your life and I really want to make up for it."

"You don't have to be here if you don't want to. I know it's hard for you."

"But I left you and dad, I barely even talk to Rebecca and I know for a fact that she doesn't talk to you guys either. You lost one person in your life, you shouldn't have to lose anymore."

I stay quiet. It's true, but if I knew mom better I might not have stuck around either. I don't get much of a choice to leave with this transformation though. I'll be in La Push for a few more years until I grow out of it or until its safe here. I feel Sammy start to move around and I let her adjust, staying still hoping she'll just fall back asleep.

Rachel and I stay in Tim's living room while we wait for dinner time. Alex eventually joins us with Claire trailing behind. I am now certain that he has imprinted on her, I know the feeling and I see the look in his eyes. They're not as touchy as Sammy and I, but they've only known each other for a year.

"Hey Rachel, this is Claire. Claire this is Rachel," Alex introduces, "Claire is my girlfriend, Rachel is Jacob's sister."

"Hi Rachel, it's nice to meet you," Claire says holding out her hand. Rachel shakes it with a smile on her face.

"It's nice to meet you too. I swear you're all growing up and have significant others while I'm single over here," Rachel comments laughing.

"Loves in the air, you could be next," I tell her. Sammy finally wakes up.

"You were out for quite some time," I comment when she lifts her head.

"I wasn't sleeping much this past week," she says in a groggy voice and rubs her eyes.

"Dinner is almost ready," Tim calls out. Her tummy rumbles and I just laugh at her.

"Perfect timing," I tell Sammy and she smiles.

When the foods ready, we all gather around the large dining room table. Sammy, Alex, and I stuff our mouths full of food; the transformation makes you so much hungrier. Someone knocks on the door and Sammy hops up to go get it.

"Hey Sam," she greets.

"Hi Samantha, you and Jake are on for tonight," I hear Sam respond. Only Alex and I can hear the conversation.

"We need to patrol? Is it really that bad?" Sammy asks concerned.

"There are some nomads in the area, more in the Seattle region. We need to keep our forces up. Emily and Jared are also patrolling," Sam informs her.

"Okay, we'll meet them up at 10. Rachel's home and Claire is over so we were going to spend some time together."

"That's fine, I'll let the others know." And he leaves. Sammy comes back not as cheerful as she left but puts a smile on her face. She holds my hand tightly under the table. I know she's worried about me, but everything will be fine. Someone should warn the Cullens although they probably know.

We quickly eat our dinner then Claire and Alex offer to do dishes. I wonder if Claire knows everything since Alex imprinted on her. We head outside and talk while we wait for Alex and Claire to finish up in the house.

"So how's high school going for you?" Rachel asks.

"It's decent," I reply.

"It's more than decent for him. He's one of the star football players, he could even win a scholarship to play at a college," my dad answers. He likes to brag about me.

"I thought you liked baseball?" Rachel asks.

"Only for fun, but Sammy plays softball," I inform her, "she also does gymnastics."

"I'm a lot better at gymnastics than I am at softball," Sammy tells Rachel.

"She has practice tomorrow, you should come with and you can see how amazing she is," I suggest.

"That would actually be fun," Rachel says, "could we go to Emily's first though? I miss her the most out of my friends, and I heard she's engaged to Sam now. I thought he made a good couple with Leah, but I'm happy for them."

"Of course, and you can meet some of our friends," Sammy suggests. By friends, she means the pack. The wolves are always over at Emily's eating her food although I must admit it is good. Paul, Jared and I became close over the past week. But Paul and I don't always get along so if he upsets me or I him, it turns into a fight, between wolves. I was told to take a lot of precautions with my temper especially since the past week has been very irritable. Emily has a scar going across her face because Sam flipped out in front of her and phased. That's why he wouldn't trust Sammy near me when I first phased. Sammy just calms me down though, I expect it to be the same way with Sam, but I doubt I'd flip out in front of her.

"As long as Quil isn't there," Rachel says; he's always kind of been weird around her.

"He won't be, he doesn't really hang out with Jared and Paul," I inform her.

"I think I remember them, they're what a year older?" Rachel asks.

"Paul is, Jared is my age," I answer.

“Okay, we need to play a game of some sort,” Alex declares as he walks out of the house, holding hands with Claire.

“May I declare a game of baseball? Or basketball?” Rachel asks getting up.

“Ooo I do like a competitive game of baseball,” Alex says excited. “There’s five of us so Sammy you are permanent pitcher. Claire and I against you and Jacob.”

We head out to our makeshift field, batters aimed away from the house. Sammy stands in front of her pitcher mound, a large stick. Alex is on home plate and Claire is in the outfield. I’m up to bat and Sammy tosses me hard balls.

“Hey, can you help a guy out a little?” I ask her.

“I’m not allowed to be biased and you have yet to see the pitches I have for Rachel and Alex,” Sammy replies smiling her evil little smile. I hit the ball after getting two strikes and easily get to first base. Sammy manages to make faster pitches for Rachel, but she easily hits it in the outfield in one pitch. I make it home and get to bat again.

“So do you want me to pitch like I did for Rachel?” Sammy asks winking.

“I’ll pass,” I reply. I would never be able to hit that. As I adjust to her pitches, she makes them harder to hit. When there’s no one to pitch, we switch from batting to catching. Rachel insists on being in outfield claiming that she needs her exercise. I stay a few feet away from home, avoiding getting hit. The pitches for Alex are as difficult as they were for Rachel, but he struggles a bit more.

“Did you play in college or something?” Alex asks after his second strike.

“I played a lot with friends for fun, but nothing serious. My dad taught me how to swing,” Rachel answers and my dad smiles.

Sammy pitches again and Alex hits it, but Rachel somehow catches it. Now I wonder if she’s a wolf with that speed and strength. We play for an hour or so and my team wins, although there was no favoritism because Claire got the easiest pitches; she wasn’t the most athletic.

“Hey, want to head to the beach?” Rachel asks.

“Why not?” Sammy says cheerfully.

“Okay,” Alex and Claire agree. We all get ready quickly and we go off in Alex’s pick up. Sammy and I sit in the truck bed while everyone else sits inside the truck.

“Warning, I’m gonna stand up,” Sammy says getting up as the truck hits about 70 mph.

“That wasn’t much of a warning,” I say watching her carefully, making sure she doesn’t get hurt. Alex brakes hard and honks at a car, but Sammy goes flying backwards… onto me. I catch her easily and she just laughs. “You are going to harm yourself.”

“That’s why you’re my protector,” she replies kissing me. I slide down so that I’m lying down on the truck bed. Sammy lies down on top of me, first peeping to make sure no one is watching us. Her legs are on either side of me and her hair creates a curtain around her face. She smiles down at me.

“I like this view,” she says smiling down at me. She leans in and kisses me passionately. Our lips tingle and a warm sensation comes over my body again. The whole transformation makes me want her more, but there are people not even a foot away from us. She pulls away looking down at me again. She bites her lip, fighting the urge that I see in her eyes.

“You need to stop doing that,” I insist. When she bites her lip, I want her so badly. She has these full lips that perfectly fit with mine and I want her to stop biting so hard on her lip.

“Stop what?” She asks confused. Her hair creates a little bubble for us, away from everyone else.

“The lip biting, it’s one of those buttons,” I inform her.

“Oh haha whoops. That will be noted,” she says leaning back. She sits back onto my thighs and I push myself to a sitting position.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you Miss Reed,” I say and she laughs.

“Well I don’t know Mr. Black, but you will have plenty of time to do it,” she says tapping my nose. We reach the beach and Sammy jumps off the truck bed and does a flip. “Ta-da!”

“Show-off,” Alex states giving Sammy a little shove. They chase each other around the beach.

“Let’s swim before it gets dark!” Rachel states loudly. She takes off her sundress and reveals a little too revealing bikini.

“We need to take you shopping,” I say pointing at the top.

“It’s old okay, not my fault I haven’t gone swimming since I was in high school,” she says then runs into the ocean and dives in. Sammy and Claire slip off their shorts and tops and head to their boyfriends.

“Into the water we shall go,” Sammy says trying to impersonate Yoda.

“Please don’t tell me you want to watch Star Wars, we watched all of the episodes three times in a row last summer,” I whine pulling her close to me pouting my lip.

“If you keep acting that cute I may not, but if you whine, it’ll be four times,” she warns leaning in then letting go and running off into the ocean. I chase after her and grab her around the waist with one arm then swing her around. “Ahhhhh, let me go!”

“You are an evil trickster,” I say then drop her into a deeper part of the ocean. I dive in and swim away from her, farther away from shore. I look behind me and Sammy hasn’t popped up out of the water. I dive under and see her holding her foot underwater. I quickly swim to her and pick her up out of the water, holding her bridal style. Her foot is bleeding a lot. I try not to let anyone see, but I set her down on one of the rocks that are poking out in the deep part of the ocean.

“What happened?” I ask checking her foot. I am not good with bloods, but I still check it. I’m flipping out because it’s such a deep cut and my body’s shaking.

“I cut myself on a sharp rock trying to push off the sand,” she says, but is more concerned about me. She holds either side of my face and makes me face her. “Jake, breathe. I’m fine, it wasn’t you. You can’t do anything about it. Don’t blow up here; Claire and Rachel are here. I’m fine.”

I try and stop the shaking. I put my hands on either side of her, put my head down, and close my eyes. She rubs my back as I try to slow my breathes. When the shaking is contained to my hands, I look back at her face. I check her foot, but there’s no cut, just a scar.

“What the heck?” I say lifting her foot. Luckily she’s flexible or else she would have fallen over.

“Oh, well I guess we heal quickly,” Sammy comments. She sits there and thinks for a second. “I feel like that was mentioned in a story.”

“This is weird,” I say, but all of the shaking is gone. I really need to control myself. We swim back to the shore and join Claire, Alex, and Rachel.

“Hey, be careful, there’s some sharp rocks in the sand,” Sammy says as she approaches them. Alex eyes her warily and seems to know what she’s thinking then nods.

We swim around in the water enjoying the cool waves crashing against us. Sammy is quickly tired out even though she slept for about five hours earlier. When we get onto the shore, we get our towels and she sits on the truck bed.

“What’s wrong with you?” I ask putting my hands on her hips so that she couldn’t try and leave.

“I’ve been up a lot recently, that’s all,” she says avoiding my gaze.

“Samantha,” I say in a stern tone. She looks up at me with those big gray eyes, the same ones I saw in the woods in my dream last night. “You weren’t supposed to be there.”

“I couldn’t stay away, you were magnificent to watch and I missed you. I couldn’t see you at all. So I snuck out at night when you were in human form, I was in the tent. When you were a wolf, I was in the forest,” she says looking down. I lift her chin up so that she’ll look at me.

“Samantha. Do not risk your life for me,” I tell her. I was so unstable during the past week, I even ripped two tents phasing in the middle of the night during nightmares. I notice a large, but hardly visible scar on her shoulder. She sees where my gaze is.

“I heal fast, it’s fine. It should be gone in another day.”

I sit on the truck bed and pull her close to me. I did hurt her, and I never even knew it. My body starts to shake again, worse than earlier.

“Go into the forest,” Sammy says pulling away from me. I get away from the truck and walk into the forest. I slip off my shorts quickly before I phase.

“Where did Jacob go?” I hear Claire ask.

“He went to go find some good pieces of driftwood for a fire,” Sammy answers.

“There’s some on the beach,” Rachel states. I expect that they’re all on the shore by now. My body is still shaking even though I’ve changed. I hear footsteps and see Alex approach.

“Calm down, you are worrying them and Sammy looks flipped out,” Alex yells in a whisper. I try and control my muscles. Alex turns his back noticing that my body is now still. I’m able to phase back to a human and I put my clothes back on. I walk around in the forest looking for driftwood and concentrating on breathing. When I come out of the forest, I’m carrying ten pieces of usable driftwood. I feel Sammy watch me the whole time while Alex and I set up the fire. I sit next to her, but don’t look at her.

“Jacob?” She whispers in my ear as I watch the fire and listen to Alex play the guitar. Everyone noticed the tension when I came out of the forest, but they tried to ignore it.

“I’m sorry,” I say. I almost blew up in her face because of something so stupid. She wraps her arm through mine and interlocks her fingers with mine.

“It’s my fault,” she replies, but her body is much more relaxed now. She probably thought I was mad at her. She was shivering a little next to me; I didn’t think it was possible for her to get cold anymore.

“Wait here,” I say. I go to the truck and grab my jacket and our clothes. Sammy was probably too out of it to think about putting her clothes back on. She changes quickly and I hand her my jacket. We sit down on a large log next to the fire, and I wrap an arm around her then kiss the top of her head. “It was my screw up, not yours.”

Sammy just buries her head into my chest and rests there. We wait out on the beach an hour after it get’s dark.

“Alex, we need to be home by ten,” Sammy informs him.

“I didn’t know sorry,” Alex says. He puts out the fire and we gather all of our stuff and get back in the car. Sammy holds my hand tightly on the way back thinking about tonight.

“They’re in Seattle,” she tells me.

“Who?” I ask dumbly. She gives me the ‘are you retarded’ look and I realize what she’s talking about. “I’ll keep you safe.”

“But who’s going to watch out for you?”

“Sammy, don’t worry about me. I can look after myself; I’m more worried about you. You spend so much time worrying that you’re going to get yourself in trouble.”

“But…”

“Stop worrying. I’m going to look after you and myself.”
***
“It’s almost twelve,” Jared comments. I see that he’s just wandering around the forest, looking no where in particular.

“Six more hours,” I comment, “if only we could talk to Sammy and Emily too.”

“Sammy’s fun to hang out with, but you just hog her. They can only talk to us if there’s danger anyways.”

“She is my girlfriend. This is stupid, I want to sleep.”

“You’re new to this. It’s important Jacob; we have to look out for our people especially when danger is so close to home.”

“Sam told you?”

“No, you were thinking about it when you phased and of course I saw.”

“Oh haha. Yeah, but I just get the urge to run off this weird energy I have. When I go back to human I am completely drained.”

“It’s a perk though. We won’t fall asleep on the job. Just run it out a little then search the perimeters of the border.”

“So why do you get to be my boss?” I ask as I run through the forest.

“Because you’re a newbie, but you will take a head role when you’ve adjusted. You were born to be alpha and Sam has agreed to step down if you want to take that role.”

“I don’t want to be alpha, too much to worry about and Sam has a lot of experience.”

“Yeah, but it’s in your blood.”

“It also takes time away from Sammy and I.”

“Really, Jake? You’re gonna give up your position for Sammy.”

“You haven’t imprinted. When you meet that girl, you’ll do anything to be with her.”

Jared cringes as I think about Sammy and I together.

“I do not need to see you guys make out,” Jared informs me. I try and redirect my thinking to the beach.

“Did you know we heal really fast?”

“Yeah, accidentally got a bad cut running around and I healed within a minute.”

“I accidentally clawed Sammy I think. She still has a little scar.

“When was this?” Jared asks concerned.

“Toward the beginning of my transformation. I think I was in human form and she had secretly come to watch over me and I wasn’t stable so I phased right in front of her and clawed her before I could see her.”

“That’s crazy! Our nails are like knives so that must have hurt a lot.”

“I know. When she told me, I almost blew it in the middle of the ocean and I had to head to the forest, phased, then calmed down.”

“It’s rough the first month. You’ll adjust. I mean I phased end of the school year and had to miss the last month because they weren’t sure if I would be stable enough.”

“But I don’t want to be like that. Especially when I got mad at Sammy, which has never happened before, it hurt me knowing that I could’ve hurt you.”

“But you didn’t. Sam has to live with evidence of what he did. Emily’s face will never heal because he exploded when she was a mere human instead of a shape-shifter.”

“Still,” I reply. I notice a pair of eyes near me. Paul sees this through my vision. He tenses up where he’s at, eight miles away from me. The eyes are accompanied by a sickly sweet smell, but these eyes are auburn not red.

“Could I talk to you?” I hear Edward say. I back up behind the trees and phase then put on my clothes.

“What?” I ask concerned. I keep my space since my body is shaking. The smell isn’t as bad as it was when all the Cullens were around me, but it’s enough to make me change.

“The vampires are in Seattle, but we’re not sure whether or not they’re coming down. Some people have heard of us since we’re so different and they may want to visit…” Edward informs me and there’s a pause in the conversation while I think this over.

“I’d tell you to talk to Sam,” I comment, “but he doesn’t exactly like you. What do you think we should do? I’ll relay the information.”

“Make sure everyone who’s in town stays in your town and keep your guard up. I know Sammy goes to gymnastics in Port Angeles, but that might not be the smartest choice for the next week or two.”

“I’ll make sure she stays in town,” I tell him. “Do you want us to patrol Forks as well?”

“That’s technically your territory, so yes.”

“We can do that, thank you for telling me.”

“Thank you for listening. I wasn’t sure how this would go after our last talk.”

With that, he runs off and I phase after slipping off my clothes. I think through the whole conversation so that Jared knows what happened.