You Were Always on My Mind

It’s only been a week since Embry was finally able to control himself yet we have two new members fully prepared to protect our reservation, Adam and Nicole. We think Johnny or Nick is next maybe even little Seth Clearwater. Quil is a straight descendant and he’s finally going through the transformation, days away from phasing. Leah is also undergoing the transformation, but she’s the first female Quileute who has gone through this and it’s a little weird for her. Nicole wasn’t going to transform, she had no Makah or Quileute blood in her. Nick barely had any so we’re not sure about him.

“What’s worrying you?” Jacob asks me trying to smooth out the crinkle between my eyebrows.

“So many people are transforming. It scares me a little,” I answer looking at the woods. We were out on the porch swing enjoying each other’s company in peace. We had barely seen each other this past week due to patrolling shifts. Sam switched us all up so I couldn’t even fall asleep against Jacob.

“It’ll be fine, they’re here to protect the reserve,” Jacob tells me holding my hands in his. I look at him and just stare into those deep brown eyes. I hate the fact that I haven’t even been able to do this in three days.

“But what if we lose someone. The Cullens think there’s another one lurking around the area. There were some mysterious deaths just two towns over,” I tell Jake and I feel my eyes start to wander. Carlisle taught me how to read the signs of vampire attacks. There were two little kids who just disappeared walking home from school. Their bodies were found with only a neck gash and a lot of blood around the neck area.

“Come here,” he says and I rest my head on his chest and close my eyes, “we’ll get rid of them. Somehow, we will.”

I still can’t get the image of the mangled body out of my mind. I’ve woken up in the middle of the night screaming twice this past week. Once, I was all alone in the house and had to go to Billy’s crying. The second time, Jacob was right next to me and comforted me back to sleep.

“I bet your dad is tired of me sleeping over there when dad’s at work and Alex’s on patrol,” I say calmed down.

“He actually likes the company, although you did scare him a little when you came over crying,” Jacob says chuckling a little, “he just told me that he had no clue what to do with a crying girl and had to wake up Rachel for help.”

“If only Nicole lived closer. She’s seen the images in my mind on patrol,” I comment. Jacob shivers a little and holds me tighter.

“I’ll make sure someone is always with you,” he states. He hates leaving me alone when he’s on patrol.

“I can just stay at your house, your dad is always there and Rachel is there most nights.”

“What do you mean most nights?”

“Jacob you spend the night with me all the time, and we’re 17. She’s 20, she can make her own decisions.”

“Fine,” he replies with clenched teeth. “Do you want to nap? Your shift starts in an hour.”

“Sure,” I reply. We stay on the porch swing and I feel Jacob’s gaze on me as I slowly fall asleep in his arms.
***
I wake up to someone gently shaking me.

“Time to get ready for your shift,” Jake informs me. I get up slowly and rub my eyes. It’s about six in the evening. I get to run around till midnight, always fun. At least I have Nicole this time. Josie, she transformed about a year before me, was really quiet which made patrol slow. Jacob leads me upstairs to my room this time and he grabs a loose shirt and sweats for me from my phasing clothes drawer. I quickly change, not even caring whether or not Jacob sees me since we change in front of each other all the time now. When I finish I notice that his back is still turned from me. I come up behind him and kiss his cheek. I stare at us in the mirror and I like what we see, except how tired we are.

“Promise me that you’ll try and sleep before midnight shift,” I request.

“I’ll try,” he says and kisses me softly on the lips. That’s the first time I’ve kissed him in a while due to our odd schedules. My body craves more but I pull away. He walks with me to our little spot in the forest that we always change at. We share a long kiss then he kisses the top of my head and starts to walk away. “Be safe.”

I quickly change then phase.

“Hey girly. How are things for you?” Nicole asks. Becka’s here too which is weird since we usually work in twos, but Nicole is new.

“I feel so drained,” I reply, “I really just want to have some real alone time with Jake.”

“Trouble in lovers lane?” Becka asks. Neither of them have yet to imprint, but I feel like it’ll be soon for one. Nicole has only seen about three people in the two days after her complete transformation.

“No, just no time for lovers lane. Our schedules have been horrible. I bet Emily and Sam feel the same way since they’re rarely on the same schedule, but at least they have a house to themselves,” I comment.

“When the wolves and bears aren’t there,” Nicole states. I guess that’s true.

“Do you know which wolves are on patrol? I fell asleep and didn’t have time to check,” I ask.

“Sam and Adam,” Becka informs me.

“Newbie with the oldie,” I state and chuckle a little. I decide to circle the perimeter and slightly into the Cullens perimeter. Alice and Jasper are probably patrolling tonight. Nicole is taking the perimeter around the reserve and Becka is patrolling Forks.

“Nick got really cute recently,” Nicole comments.

“I haven’t seen him in a while, but I wouldn’t disagree. I think Amy and him are talking,” Nicole comments.

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” I reply, “they both kind of just suit each other.”

“Embry’s cute,” Becka says and I stop in my tracks.

“Becka?” I ask.

“Yes,” she says hesitantly.

“You didn’t...” I start to ask.

“If I said I didn’t I would be lying,” she says picking up her pace.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Nicole exclaims.

“I just didn’t want it to be a big deal and we kind of agreed to keep it on the down low. Plus we were same way as you and Jacob. He didn’t fully feel the connection till after and I thought I was just being silly,” Becka defends.

“That’s so nice though!” I tell her. They’re cute and Embry has turned into another older brother for me.

We continue to talk about boys until late in the night. I make sure to take random swings past Jacob’s house and I even spot him asleep on my porch swing at one point.

When it’s about time to change shifts, we head toward our preferred changing areas. I quickly change and wait for Jacob against his favorite tree. I lean against the tree and fall asleep in seconds, completely drained of energy.

“Sammy, wake up,” I hear Jacob say as he shakes me.

“I’m sorry,” I say and get up. I’m a little light headed from sleep deprivation.

“You’re staying at Emily’s,” Jake insists and he sees me wobble as I start to walk. He carries me against his warm bare chest. I just love it when he doesn’t wear a shirt.

“Wait,” I say stopping him. “They’re both home tonight, let them rest together.”

“Closest place is Adam’s house,” Jake states.

“I can stay there. His mom likes me and he’s a wolf. She knows everything,” I inform Jake. He carries me to Adam’s and we end up running into him.

“She’s really light headed and I have to get to my shift, do you mind if she stays here tonight?” Jacob asks.

“Yeah, do you care if she stays in my room so that I can keep a watch out for her?” Adam asks. He knows how Jake feels about leaving me alone since they patrolled together yesterday.

“That’s fine,” Jake responds. Adam leads the way and his mom is awake in the living room.

“I just got off my shift and I thought might as well wait,” she says, but I can tell she’s lying and just wanted to see her son safe.

“Do you mind if Sammy spends the night? She’s really light headed,” Adam asks.

“Of course,” Adam’s mom responds, “I’ll make you some special tea in the morning.”

“Thank you,” I respond and Jake follows Adam into his room. He pulls out a long mattress from under his bed and gets two blankets for me from the hallway.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll get you from here,” Jake says kissing the top of my head. He’s been really protective since he killed the vampire.

“Don’t get hurt,” I tell him, quickly falling asleep.

“I won’t, I promise,” he says and leaves the room. As soon as I lay my head on the pillow, I fall asleep.
***
I wake up and notice that Adam is out of bed. I get up and head to the kitchen. Although I’ve been friends with Adam for a long time, I have rarely come over.

“Good morning,” Adam’s mom greets, “want breakfast?”

“That would be nice,” I reply taking a seat next to Adam at the dining room table. His two younger brothers are on the other side of the table shoving each other. While I wait for Adam’s mom to get me a plate, I glance around the house. It’s pretty nice.

“Help yourself to anything you like,” she informs me handing me an empty plate, fork, and cup of tea. I stuff my plate full and the younger boys stare at me in awe.

“Girls can eat that much?” The youngest asks.

“Ben that is rude,” Adam’s mom says but I just laugh.

“It’s fine,” I assure her then turn to Ben, “and yes girls can eat just as much as guys.”

Ben and Kevin watch me eat in amazement. I scarf down most of my plate in half an hour.

“Want to go watch TV while you wait for Jacob?” Adam asks after I finish.

“Sure,” I reply. He knows exactly how Jacob is, but I understand with the vampires and all. We sit on Adam’s large couch with his brothers and let them choose the channel. They decide to watch The Fairly Odd Parents. I relax a bit while watching TV, but I keep my eye on the clock. Jacob gets off of patrol anytime now. I hear a knock on the door and jump up from the couch a little too eagerly.

“Is Sammy still here?’ I hear Jacob ask Adam’s mom.

“Right inside,” she replies. I turn toward the door and see Jacob. He looks worn out.

“Thanks for letting me spend the night and feeding me,” I tell Adam and his mom.

“Anytime, I know how hard you guys work,” Adam’s mom says and I give her a quick hug.

“Come over and eat with us again,” I hear Ben say from the living room and Adam gives him a stern look. Jacob and I interlock hands then head out of the house.

“How was it?” I ask. My shift was pretty boring but Jacob always seems to have something happen.

“I had Embry so not too bad, but he thinks he caught a scent and we couldn’t tell if it was the Cullens or not. I tried to intercept their path, but it was useless,” Jacob says. While we walk to the house, I think about parking my car over at Emily’s for future reference since Jacob looks like he might collapse.

“You really need to sleep more,” I tell him noticing the bags under his eyes.

“It’s hard to sleep when I’m worrying about you,” he informs me.

“I know, but I don’t know I’ll stay with someone if that helps you,” I say. I notice Alex job past me and he’s probably late for his patrolling shift.

“So my house or yours?” he asks.

“Yours, you haven’t been there much this past week from what I can tell,” I answer. We walk the last mile in peace, but I’m worried he may collapse from exhaustion. We head to his living room since it’s unoccupied. We curl up on the couch and I quietly watch TV as he sleeps. Of course I watch Law & Order: SVU while Jacob’s sleeping. Luckily, there’s a marathon on today so I watch it the whole eight hours Jacob sleep. Billy talks to me a lot too throughout the marathon.

“I don’t get how you do this?” Rachel says entering the room. I’m guessing Paul is on patrol.

“They can take care of themselves although schedules do suck,” I reply. Jacob’s head lays in my lap and I come through his hair.

“He worries about you a lot though,” Rachel tells me.

“Yeah, but I mean you worry about Paul a lot too.”

“But you can defend yourself, I can’t.”

“I guess so. Jacob’s just seen a lot and so have I. Once you’ve seen things they just stay etched in your brain.”

“That must be tough. How’s patrolling?”

“Boring and tiring.”

“Is it worth it?”

“Definitely, we’re keeping the people safe. It’s our job and it helps us feel safe too. I know Jacob tends to be very overprotective now, but he’s just worried and I think it would be worse if we didn’t patrol.”

“Paul’s safe out there right?” Rachel asks looking out the window.

“Perfectly safe. He’s built for this just like the rest of us,” I assure her. Rachel doesn’t have anything else to say and just continues to look out the window.
***
When Jacob wakes up, he just lays there watching TV. I think he had a few nightmares because he still looks tired. Rachel left to go talk to Emily about an hour ago and the house has been pretty quiet since Billy left to go hang out with my dad.

“You okay?” I ask, something’s off about him.

“Yeah, just thinking about last night,” he replies.

“I can take your mind off of it,” I tell him and he knows exactly how. He slowly gets up from the couch and we head outside. It’s pouring rain, but it actually boosts my mood. Jacob takes me into the forest. I feel the mud squish between my toes since I didn’t bother to put on shoes. We find our special spot where no one ever intervenes, somewhere private. Once we reach our tiny clearing he turns to me and smiles. I wrap my arms around his neck as usual, but this time he lifts me off the ground and I’m against a tree. His kisses are much more rushed as well as mine. It feels like it’s been so long since we’ve been this intimate. His hand slides up my side inside my shirt, my skin tingling. Although it’s raining, I feel hotter than I have in weeks. He quickly slips off my shirt and I help take off his. His kisses trail down my neck and to my collarbone and I’ll probably wake up with a hickey tomorrow. His lips find mine and we go back to making out.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispers against my lips.

“I’ve missed you too. I hate these stupid schedules.”

We’re both out of breath and he turns around, his back against the tree, and sits down. The rain slowly trickles down on us, but we’re soaked all the way through. I grab our shirts so that no one finds us stripped down. I readjust myself so that I can lean against him, head on his chest. I listen as his heart rate slows down. His hands rest on my hips and he rests his chin on the top of my head.

“I love you Samantha Reed,” Jacob whispers into my ear.

“I love you too Jacob Black,” I answer and pull away from his chest to kiss him softly on the mouth.

The cold starts to settle in and I start to shiver a little. Jacob easily gets up and carries me bridal style to our houses.

“I can walk,” I insist, yet perfectly content. Neither of us are patrolling until tomorrow so we get the rest of the day together.

“My love deserves the best,” he replies and I blush a little this time. He notices the pink in my cheeks and smiles happily. I lean against him taking in his smell, although right now, he smells like the forest floor.

“You need a shower,” I comment laughing then smell myself. I don’t smell any better.

“I will quickly shower at my house and change if you quickly shower at your house and change,” Jacob suggests realizing that I don’t smell pleasant either.

“I think that’s a fair deal. And my dad’s probably home so that means dinner for us,” I reply.

“I skipped lunch today,” Jacob comments and his tummy gurgles.

“Rachel made me some food while you were sleeping. She was worried about Paul, but decided to feed me.”

“Well that’s unfair, I’m her brother.”

“And being your older sister,” she decided to let you sleep,” I say. Jacob puts me down as we reach my house.

“Don’t take too long,” he says and kisses the top of my head.

I quickly get inside and upstairs before anyone can see me. I grab a pair of footie pajamas, my favorite, and head to the shower. I take about fifteen minutes in the shower due to my long hair, but I come out smelling much better than I did an hour ago. I quickly change then slide my way downstairs with my wet clothes. Jacob enters the house as I walk out of the laundry room and immediately laughs when he sees me.

“Don’t be mean,” I chastise, “these are my favorites!”

“You’re just so cute,” he says wrapping his arms around me, but he’s still laughing that husky laugh of his. He kisses me softly on the lips then takes my hand. We walk to the kitchen where we smell the sweet aroma of food.

“What’s for dinner?” I ask my dad.

“Fish, and lots of it,” he answers, “you’re lucky I stored a bunch since Sam doesn’t want us on the lake for while.”

I help my dad get all the food to the table, then we eat every last bit of food thanks to Jacob and I’s lack of food today.

“Your room?” Jacob whispers into my ear. I smile and nod.

“Hey dad, we’re gonna go watch TV,” I inform him, but don’t tell him where.

“Go ahead, I’ll clean up,” he replies.

We head out of the dining room and sneak up the stairs. We jump onto the bed sprawling out and enjoying my queen sized bed, my parents kind of spoil me. I turn on the TV and play a random show.

“I can’t take you seriously in that,” Jacob says as I head toward him.

“You just ruined the moment,” I reply laughing, but take off the footie pajamas. I have a bandeau and spandex under. Jacob stares at my body for a little while since he rarely sees me without a cami on and when I don’t have one on, he’s not usually looking at me, but more focused on the physical aspect. “Staring is rude.”

He pulls me toward him and I giggle a little at his playfulness. He tickles my sides and holds me to him refusing to let go.

“Please stop,” I say between laughing, “I’ll let you stare if you stop.”

He lets go, but leans in and kisses me. He smells like aftershave and his skin is smooth, freshly shaved. I play with his fluffy hair as we kiss more passionately, the warmth spreading across my body. I try not to get too close to him though since I forgot to put on a bra after changing, but all he wants to do is be close. He spreads my legs slowly to get more comfortable and leans against me. His hands trail against my sides sending shivers all over my body. He slips off his shirt and presses himself closer to me. My skin burns where our skin touches. He gives me sweet kisses down my neck then lightly nibbles on my neck.

“Jake, not here,” I say trying to stop a moan.

“I know,” he says pulling away from my neck and resting his forehead against mine.

“I love you,” I tell him smiling at him. He starts smiling that goofy grin of his and he slowly leans in and kisses me.

“I love you too,” he says against my lips. He kisses me again then pulls away and lies next to me. He turns his attention toward the TV, but interlocks his fingers with mine. I lean against him so happy I have him.

“You feel hot too right?” I ask before I get too comfortable. He just looks at me for a second confused.

“I always do around you,” he answers chuckling that husky laugh. I leap off the bed and turn on the fan then open the balcony door. I notice Paul and Rachel sitting together at the edge of the forest. She’s resting against him, but she looks sad. I turn to Jake and head toward the bed. I curl up against him and he wraps his arm around me, resting his hand on my hip. He lightly kisses the top of my head then rests his head on mine. I get him for the rest of the night like this. Jake skips through the channels looking for something good to watch. He settles on The Dark Knight.

“You kids want hot chocolate?” My dad asks entering the room while carrying the tray. Shadow trails in behind him and joins Jake and I on the bed.

“Yes please,” I answer sitting up on the bed. My dad brings the tray over and sets it down on the bedside table then hands us two mugs of the famous hot chocolate. “Thanks dad.”

“No problem,” he replies and takes the empty tray out of the room with him. Shadow curls up next to me and rests her head on my lap.

“That dog is in love with you,” Jake says scratching the back of her ear. Her tail starts to wag and she licks his arm.

“It was meant to be,” I tell him petting her then taking a sip of the hot chocolate. We continue to watch the movie and drink our hot chocolate in peace. I lean against him and he keeps an arm around me.

“How’d I get so lucky?” He whispers to himself and I feel him looking down at me. I look up at him and smile.

“You’re not the only one,” I inform him. He leans down and kisses me and his lips are warm and taste like hot chocolate. I finish the rest of the hot chocolate and set the mug on the bedside table along with his. I rest my head against his shoulder and try and focus on the movie.

When the movie ends, Shadow looks up expectantly at me. I get up and let her out of the room then slip on my footie pajamas and turn off the fan.

“Want to go outside?” Jake asks slipping on his shirt.

“Outside on the streets or balcony?” I ask. “I have to change into something that won’t get dirty from walking if we go on the streets.”

“Change quickly,” he insists leaning back on the bed. I grab a pair of nice sweats and one of Jake’s t-shirts that I may have stolen. “Is that mine?”

“It didn’t fit,” I insist.

“How do you know that?” he asks curious as to why I’m so creepy.

“You keep it on the bottom drawer where you put everything that doesn’t fit,” I answer. I cleaned his room to many times. “You’re a large and this is a medium.”

“You really need to stop going through my room when I’m gone,” he says laughing, but gets up from the bed as I slip on some socks and grab a pair of running shoes from my closet. We head down the stairs, cups in hand, and head to the kitchen. I quickly wash our cups then head to the living room where my dad seems to be half asleep on the couch.

“Hey dad,” I whisper into his ear.

“What?” he asks groggily.

“I’m heading out on a walk with Jake, we’ll be back later,” I inform him and he just nods his head.

“Be safe,” he replies then falls asleep. Jake slips on his running shoes and we slip out of the house quickly.

“Where shall we go?” I ask Jake as he takes my hand in his.

“Lets just walk,” he states.

It’s almost 11, but everyone is asleep since it’s a work day. Jacob and I stroll through the town taking the back roads when we come across them. It starts to sprinkle, but it feels nice against my hot skin. We eventually reach Quillayute River and I lean over the edge looking for anything in the river. I sit on the river bank while Jacob comes behind me and wraps his arms around me. I lean against him, tired from our long walk. I hear the sound of leaves rustling in the forest and conclude that it’s whoever’s on patrol. I start to smell that sickly sweet smell, but it’s familiar.

“Samantha?” I hear Carlisle ask although I don’t see him.

“Yes,” I respond and he quickly appears next to me.

“You two really shouldn’t be out here,” he says with a worried look.

“We just decided to go for a walk, we’ll head back now,” Jake responds. He gets up and helps me up.

“It’s just not fully safe yet,” Carlisle informs us resting his cold hand on my arm.

“Thanks Carlisle,” I say smiling at him.

Although I hated the precautions, I was grateful for everyone who looked out for us. Jacob places his hand at the small of my back and we start to head back to our houses. Carlisle waits a while then I hear him start running. We walk quietly for a mile until Jacob starts talking.

“Have you talked to the Cullens much recently?” he asks.

“I’ve been busy with you, patrolling, and sleeping so no,” I reply looking up at him concerned.

“We should visit them sometime soon,” he simply states, but smiles down at me trying to reassure me that everything is fine. I wrap an arm around him and we walk in peace for the rest of the way. As soon as we reach the house, I change back into my footie pajamas and Jake just strips down to his boxers then we curl up in bed and fall asleep.