Your Cheating Heart Will Tell On You

I could feel my heart beat speeding up as I turned Evgeni's street. I lived there too now but I was always more comfortable calling it Evgeni's place. I wouldn't have a home there soon anyway.

I drove past the house and couldn't bring myself to pull in the driveway. I saw his Range Rover parked there and I could see him sitting at the kitchen table, phone in hand. I knew I was the one he was calling because my phone wouldn't stop ringing. I couldn't force myself to answer that either. When did I become such a coward?

I kept on driving and clenched my teeth to keep from crying. This would screw up everything. My relationship with my Zhenya was perfect. He treated me well, bought me nice things and was one of my best friends and my lover.

A drunken one night stand wouldn't change anything, would it? I knew very well that he was going to be pissed of at me. I was pissed off at me too. Maybe I'm the delusional one, not Crosby.

I pulled into my best friends driveway. She was my rock, the one who kept me sane.

I got out of my car and walked up to the door, ringing the doorbell. Any other day, I would just waltz right in. Today, though, it just didn't feel right.

Vero opened the door and smiled when she saw it was me. She looked beautiful, as usual, even though she probably had just woken up. She frowned when she took a closer look. I was on the verge of tears now but she couldn't see them, seeing as I had sunglasses on. Sometimes, when you know someone this well, you just know.

"Zaria... Are you okay?" She cautiously asked, concern present in her brown eyes. That's when I lost it.

One sob wracked through me and she pulled me into her arms, murmuring things in French that I didn't understand.

She walked me through the house, her arms still around me. I was still sobbing like a child.

She sat me down on the couch, not saying anything, just letting me get it all out. If I couldn't even face her, how was I going to face Zhenya?

After I calmed down, she gently took my sunglasses off, still frowning.

"Christmas eyes." She commented and I smiled a little at our inside joke. I said that once when I was drunk. My eyes were bloodshot and it reminded me of Christmas with my green eyes.

"Yeah, Christmas eyes." I sniffled and hastily wiped the tears from my cheeks. I looked up and met her eyes.

"Did you and Evgeni get into a fight or?" She asked and I shook my head, no. She thought about it for a second and then looked at me again.

"Oh, Zar..." It dawned on her. I was still wearing my club clothes and was obviously hung over. I nodded, confirming her thoughts.

"You didn't..." She shook her head and shot me a look.

"I just woke up... And I don't really remember it all..." I explained poorly and felt another set of tears coming. I was an absolute mess.

She gave me a condescending look. "Babe, you're my best friend, practically my sister but... How could you? That man treats you like a princess." She accused and I ducked my head.

"I was drunk. Like so smashed I can barely remember it. I fucked up so badly, Vero." She shook her head and gave me a pitiful look.

"Does Evgeni know?" She questioned and I shook my head.

"I can't tell him." I whispered to myself more than her. She gave me a look.

"Zar, I get it. You screwed up but you can't lie. He's been nothing but good to you. He deserves the truth." That was so like her, always the angel. And then there was me.

"Vero, I don't think I'll be able to handle it when he rejects me." My voice broke and my lip began to quiver. She rubbed my back again.

"Can you please, please tell him I spent the night with you?" I begged and she widened her eyes, slightly shaking her head.

"Zar, please don't drag me into this shit. I love Evgeni like a brother and I can't lie to him." She told me.

"Please." My voice was distraught with emotion and she sighed.

"I hate this." She told me as she stood up and walked to the kitchen. I followed her in.

"I owe you." I promised and she turned abruptly, her eyes flashing.

"No you don't. You just need to get your act together and stop drinking so much. You do stupid shit when you're drunk. You could've been killed, Zaria! Did you even know the guy?" I didn't respond, I just stared at my heels like they were the most fascinating thing in the world.

"You do know him." She sighed again and walked in the kitchen. I sat in the stool and took the coffee and Advil she slid my way.

"Who is he? Do I know him?" She hesitated, like she was afraid of what my answer would be.

"Yeah, you know him." I stated simply. She waited for me to elaborate. "I don't wanna talk about it." I muttered and sipped my coffee.

"Vero, where did you put--" Marc-Andre's voice sounded into the room and he stopped talking when he saw me. I loved Marc. He was a great guy and a sweetheart to Vero.

"Zar!" He spoke joyously and gave me a hug. He pulled back and made a face.

"You spell like a mini bar." He took a seat next to me and Vero threw a grape at him. He caught it and popped it in his mouth. Goalie reflexes.

"Geno's been calling me for hours. Apparently, he sent out a Zaria alert to the team." He chuckled and typed something into his blackberry.

"Vero let me in last night. I got a ride here. Too drunk to drive." I lied and Vero shot me a death glare, which I ignored.

"Oh. Okay. Geno's on his way over now. He's worried sick, Zar. Get ready to see some Russian fireworks go off." He laughed again and walked into the den, turning on the tv.

I turned to Vero, slightly panicked. "Can I please use your phone?" She slid it across the counter without a word. I knew she was disappointed in me. I wish she'd just scream at me instead of looking at me like she is right now.

I dialed Evgeni's number without even having to think about it. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead and my hands were shaking.

"Vero?" Evgeni answered on the other line. He sounded so worried. That added onto the guilt more. You are such a bitch, I scolded myself.

"Нет, Евгений это Зариа. Я в порядке. Я остался здесь прошлой ночью. Я буду дома скоро." (No, Evgeni, it's Zaria. I stayed over here last night. I'll be home soon.) I spoke, managing to keep my voice level. Vero was watching me from across the table, her eyes sad.

He took in a shaky breath. "Я так волновалась. Я тебя люблю." (I was so worried. I love you.) I blinked back tears when he said that.

"I love you too." I whispered in English as I disconnected the phone.

"You can't keep this from him forever." Vero informed me, like I didn't already know.

"I'm gonna die trying." I shook my head again and stood.

"Sidney! My man! What's up?" I heard the front door open and Marc's voice.