Kiss Me

I wasn’t really expecting a call from Vero after well... ever. The way I had left her (and the other wives and girlfriends) high and dry after Sid and I had broke up, I would’ve assumed they would’ve never wanted anything to do with me in their entire lives. Two days after Sidney had showed up at my apartment pushing himself in (an obvious attempt at trying to push himself back into my life) through the front door, I had gotten a call from one of the few girls in my life, besides my sisters, that I would reserve as calling my ‘best friend.’

Flower had told her I was pregnant (Surprise! Surprise!) and now she was snooping around to get the down low on what had happened between Sidney and I—my version of it at least. After a couple of begs and pleads, she finally had me convinced that all I needed was a day of retail therapy followed up by lunch (her treat) at one of the most expensive Italian joints, Tambelini’s, in Pittsburgh.

After a long afternoon of laughs and window-shopping at Ross Park Mall for baby blankets, maternity clothes, and teeny tiny little baby clothes, my feet were swollen to the size of Texas and I was ready for a large bowl of Tambelini’s world famous Chicken Alfredo. Lunch started off quiet, it wasn’t until Vero had a glass of wine in did the real Spanish Inquisition begin.

“Guess you can’t have any of this?” Vero jokingly teased as she twirled the dark red liquid around in the rose-stemmed goblet. I frowned towards her and took a long sip of my glass of lemon water. Shrugging and pulling off a piece of a breadstick, I popped it into my mouth and grinned at her.

“Ah yes, but I can eat all the carbs I want and get away with it.” I winked as we both laughed at my corny joke. The mood turned calm for just a moment before we were both into fits of laughter again. It was nice to be around one of my girls again. I had missed Vero.

“You know that comment gave me permission to fully interrogate you on everything that has happened the last four months?” I shrugged. I expected it.

“I wouldn’t have expected it any other way, V.”

“First things first, when are you due? I need to start planning out this magnificent baby shower we are going to have! The girls will be so excited when they find out! Another Penguin baby!” I frowned. I didn’t exactly want to get all the girls in on this whole pregnancy deal. Vero was enough, the rest of them were busy and had important lives to live.

“I’m due in May, some time. I don’t want a baby shower, Vero, I just want to keep this on the down low…” She practically spat her wine across the table.

“Why, girl? You’re having, excuse me, Sidney Fucking Crosby’s baby! If I were you I’d be screaming that from the top of Mount Washington!” I tried to keep back my laughter but it slipped between my lips. Sometimes Vero was too much. I regained my composure and shrugged.

“We broke up, Vero. He told me he wasn’t ready,” The second part I let my voice lower too as I didn’t want rumors (despite them being true) being surfaced around Pittsburgh. Vero’s face dropped and almost hit the table. Apparently that wasn’t what she had heard.

“You what? Sid told everyone that you had to go home for a couple of months because your aunt was sick or something.” I froze. I didn’t know what exactly to say, but “fucking typical” was the first thing that I mumbled underneath my breath.

“Don’t tell Marc what I’m telling you because I just don’t want shit to go down in the locker room over it.” She raised her hand in scouts honor. “I’m serious, V, you Frenchies have some big mouths.”

“I promise I won’t!”

“We broke up shortly before the season started. He came home from one of the away preseason games, and there I am crying on the ground of my bathroom floor, absolutely freaking out. Everything was fine at first, I guess. Then a couple weeks later he came home, and it was all ‘I’m done, and ‘I’m too young for this shit’.” I shrugged and began picking at my nails. She was the first one that I actually told the real and truthful story too. When my family found out I was pregnant, I told them a different story. Something a little less gruesome.

“So what have you been doing?” I shrugged. What hadn’t I been doing?

“Working a lot. I just dove into work after it all happened. Saving up for my little peanut.” For the first time in a while I was really proud of my little one growing inside of me. After I had found out I was pregnant I had done everything in the book to deny it was even there.

“You know what you’re having yet?” I shook my head. I still was undecided as to whether or not I actually wanted to know what I was having. The surprise and allure to having to wait nine months to see whether or not you’d be having a son or daughter was slightly intriguing to me. The other part was the fact that I still had a little over a month before I could even find out what I was having. “God, Haley, you’re no help at all! I’m serious about that baby shower though! It’ll get you around the girls again; they really do miss you. We all do.”

“I don’t want a shower, Vero. I just want to keep it low, have the baby, and move on with my life.” She frowned. I wasn’t going to begin telling her about how I planned on moving back to Columbus once the baby was born. I was still trying to keep my friends on good graces.

“You’re getting so boring.”

“I’m going to be a mom.” I winked as we both laughed again.

“God, who would’ve thought you’d be preggo before I was?” I shrugged. I certainly didn’t. “But maybe it will bring Sid and you closer together, you know? Inadvertedly.” I shook my head. I knew eventually this was going to be how the conversation changed to; I just didn’t know how I was going to respond to it.

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not?” I shrugged. Everything in my life had been up in the air since I had met Sid, how was this any different?

“I’m hurt Vero. I wanted just as much as he did to get married, spend some time together, and then when we were ready make a baby. It didn’t happen that way and he reacted in a way that wasn’t appropriate.”

“But he was scared! When he broke up with you he didn’t mean for it to be long-term, it was something where he just needed space!” She protested, obviously trying to stick up for him. So she did know what exactly had happened between us. I pursed my lips.

“I was scared too, Vero! It doesn’t give him the excuse to act like a complete kabob about the situation by dumping me. I wanted to make it work, I really did. But when he came home that day and said it was over, I wasn’t going to fight for it any longer. I fought for us for five years. Five years through all kinds of shit, and did he ever? No. He didn’t.”

“He’s fighting for you now, isn’t he?” She questioned. “Isn’t that why he called you to CONSOL? Wanted you to come and wait with him at the hospital? Showed up at your apartment trying to get you back? He loves you, and he loves that baby a lot. Believe me.” I shook my head. She had lied. She knew about the whole situation and just played out a story to see how much she could get out of me.

“How am I supposed to believe you? You lied about knowing the situation and what happened.” That was really harsh of me to say, but now I wasn’t only upset with Sid, I was upset with Vero.

“You’re supposed to believe me because I’m your best friend. Your ex has been living at my house since he moved out of yours. He refuses to go back to Mario’s, he says it brings back too many bad memories, and he refuses to find his own place. I hear him up at night, he cries because of you, Haley. The man, who is a stone because of hockey, cries over you and that baby. He didn’t talk about it for weeks because he was too scared of what people would think of you. Finally I got it out of him, found out the story. I had to lie to you because I wanted to know your side of the story. It’s really hard to hear only one part of the story when the other one leaves her best friend for four months with no word. I helped him conjure up the story of you leaving to visit your aunt. So that it wouldn’t shed a light on both of you. Nobody knows or suspects anything. Flower and I are, as far as I know, the only ones who know you’re pregnant.” The mood of Tambelini’s instantly changed. It went from light and cheerful to a mess.

“He misses you, Hale. He doesn’t know what to do without you. When he found out you were pregnant he was so ecstatically over the moon. He called Marc up and cried. Said how excited he was to be a dad, and then…” She let the sentence trail off to which I jumped onto.

“And then what?” I asked quickly. She shrugged her shoulders and took a drink.

“He didn’t tell you, did he?” She asked as I gave her a blank stare. He didn’t tell me anything as far as I was concerned.

“No, what?”

“I’ve already said too much. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then he hasn’t told you. You need to talk to him first, before you make any more judgments.” I sighed. As much as I loved Vero, I wanted nothing more than not having to talk to my ex. “Just ask him. Do it for me. It’s the least you could do after falling off the face of the planet for four months.” She winked and I laughed. Yes, I still did feel bad about just dropping off the face of the Earth.

I sighed. What was the point of asking him? What was he going to tell me? That he missed me? Because I had already heard that spew of bullshit ten times over. That he loved me? Already heard it. That he wanted to still be a family? Checkmate.

There was nothing more that Sidney Crosby could have said that would have changed my mind. He had said what he needed to say four months ago, and that was all I needed to hear. I didn’t want nor did I need to hear it again, or any lame bullshit excuses for that matter.

“I’ll see.” I told her as I quickly stuffed my debit card into the sleeve of the bill. Vero shook her head in contempt.

“Please, Hale. Just do it."