Kiss Me

I would have been lying if the first couple of days after I had went over to Sidney’s, found out all of that information, and then left the baby’s sonogram as a peace offering, had been hard.

Work was busier than usual and in my sparse amount of free time I had spent all of it figuring out how exactly I was going to make this work. I wasn’t going to make it easy on him, actually quite the opposite. I planned on making him grovel, beg, and wish he had never give into the wishes of his agent. I was still hurt; extremely hurt, and I wanted nothing more than to make sure he knew it. Really I was just bitter. Very bitter.

“Haley?” One of my fellow nurses, Ashley, called me from the nurse’s station. Since it wasn’t my typical day to work, I had picked up a shift, and had been sent to one of the Intensive Care Units to help out on a floor that had lost three of their nurses to the wicked strand of flu that was going around. “You have a visitor here.” A visitor? Who would be showing up to my work? Especially on a day where I wasn’t even on my typical unit? Finishing up one of my updrafts on the pediatric patient who had came in with end-stage renal disease, I ungowned, washed my hands and made my way to the station.

“Who is it, Ash?” I asked as I sat down and pulled out my patient’s chart. She shrugged and pointed to a young man who was sitting on the bench on the other side of the station. His black Pirates baseball cap was pulled low over the dark brown curls that were poking out on both sides. He sat with a magazine splayed over his lap and a small smile creeping up.

“I don’t know. He just asked for you.” What an asshole he was.

“What are you doing here?” I hissed through my teeth as I tried to make it obvious that I was talking with somebody who wasn’t my patient or my patient’s family. My charge nurse was just down the hallway and I really didn’t need to get in trouble on the floors. Expecting a baby was a lot of money and I needed to save up all the money I could now. Extra shifts were such a blessing.

“I was just in the neighborhood,” He casually said, not looking up from his magazine but his smile growing larger. His smile hurt my chest. It was one of the first things that made me fall in love with him.

“You were just in the neighborhood?” I deadpanned as he shrugged his shoulders. Just in the neighborhood, my ass, I thought. This was the pediatric hospital, not UPMC Mercy, where I knew he was receiving care for his concussion.

“Just in the neighborhood.” He said once again, this time looking up at me. I melted. It was happening again. He was putting the moves on me and I couldn’t help it, but I wasn’t going to let him know that. And how the hell did he even find out I was working on this floor today… unless… Shit, never let Vero know anything.

“I think that’s a bit of an over exaggeration.” I grinned. I was having a hard time not falling to the ground like melted silly putty. Two days ago I didn’t feel like this. I was angry and resentful, hell, four minutes ago I hadn’t felt like this. “What are you here for, Sid? I have to go back to work.”

“I wanted to know if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight, my treat.” My stomach turned to uneasy. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to go out with Sid looking like the size of a small whale. Sid pursed his lips towards me and gave me ‘the look’. It was the same look that he gave me when he knew I was about to bullshit an answer. “C’mon Hale, we have to start somewhere,” I shrugged. I didn’t know where we were going to start and how this was going to end.

“Fine, but dinner at my place. Nine sound okay?” He smiled again and then kissed my cheek before ducking out of the way before I could lightly slap his cheek. “Hate you!” I called down the hallway as he turned around and smiled at me.

I could handle this again. I could.

*****

My hands were shaking as I poured the pasta into a colander and rinsed it out underneath the sink. The underarms of the brand new dress I had just bought were nearly soaked in nervous perspiration, and my upper lip began to sweat off the light coat of red lipstick that I had applied to my lips. There was nothing to be nervous about at all, I kept telling myself. This was Sidney Crosby, the guy that you grew to know and love. It was the same.

I waited anxiously in the kitchen; fixing the tablemats, arranging silverware, flatting out the dark blue fabric of the knee length dress I was wearing. I pulled my sweater around my stomach uncomfortably. At four months pregnant I was huge and already uncomfortable.

I kept going over what I had told myself throughout the day: don’t be mean; remember this is a fresh start; if he asks about the baby, answer; if he asks about you, answer; don’t get defensive; stop being so bitter. I didn’t know how this evening was going to turn out. Everything had been so up and down since the first time I saw him at CONSOL up until today—a rollercoaster of emotions I had put myself through.

“Cleaned up the boxes for your move to Columbs, eh?” Was the first thing out of his mouth as he walked in the front foyer. I smoothed out my dress once again and took a deep breath. I was going to be okay. I nodded slightly (trying to not look like I was in complete pain) and ushered him through the front door.

“I figured I would clean it up a little bit. I have boxes, and clothes, and baby shit everywhere.” I shrugged as he handed me a large bouquet of daisies and kissed my left cheek. This time I didn’t try and push him away and graciously took the flowers. They were my favorite. “Let me go put these in some water, make yourself at home.” I hadn’t even gotten through the second part of the sentence when I heard his keys hit the key dish, and his shoes being put away on the shoe rack. Internally I grinned; it was going to be okay.

When I returned to the living room he already sitting in his favorite spot on the couch with his feet propped up on the old coffee table. I took two steps across the room and stood behind the lounge chair. I took in the scene in front of me and smiled before slipping off the low-rise pumps (that were already killing my swollen feet) I was wearing.

“What?” He asked looking over at me after a minute. I shrugged my shoulders quickly. I didn’t know what to say and I was slightly embarrassed that he had caught me staring at him. Even after all of these years he was so beautiful. He was like cheese or wine; he only got better looking with age.

“Nothing.” I smiled as I made my way back to the kitchen. I hadn’t expected him to follow me into the kitchen, but he did.

“How is your noggin’ doing?” I asked as I got the salad out of the drawer and began cutting it. He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. Between the entire whirlwinds that had happened the past couple of weeks I hadn’t bothered asking how his concussion was going.

“I started off ice workouts this past week, but I still don’t feel right.”

“Did you tell your trainers that?” He shook his head. “Sidney!” I chastised him like a small child. He ducked his head and rested his shoulder against the frame of the door. ”You have to keep them updated as to how you’re feeling! You cant just do this by yourself!”

“I know! I know! It just frustrates me so much that I can’t do anything, I’m so helpless, and with everything that’s happened between us I’ve been helpless…” I sighed. I understood that he was scared about his head and scared about the situation with us. It was a scary time, but he needed to make sure he kept up with his training staff. That was what they were there for.

“You have to promise me that you’re going to talk to them tomorrow,” I narrowed my eyes at him and he nodded his head.

“I promise I will.” He put out his arm as if he were doing a scouts honor. I laughed and continued cutting the lettuce up. For a moment the kitchen fell into a quiet peace, it was comfortable and it was relative to the way that things were before. Until Sidney dropped another bomb on me.