The Academy of the Elite

This week sucks, and it's only Tuesday. I wake up happy only to remember my huge fight with Lizzy. Sunday she yelled at me about the incident at Jack's party, which already put a strain on us. Yesterday, of course was much worse; I made a scene about Lizzy telling me not to be so touchy with Vic. I guess that was the last straw because then she spilled all of her feelings and thoughts about me. I feel horrible. I didn't know that I caused her to have so much pain. I had no idea that she had been raped by Phillip. I'm so oblivious to her actions; I didn’t even notice the change in her behavior. Well maybe I kind of did: the lack of talking, not wanting to leave our bed, puffed up eyes and a vacant stare. I just didn't say anything because I thought that it was like a phase or something, I guess not. How on earth would I make it up to her? I messed up big time; I should've never made it an issue to be around Vic. She was right, he's her boyfriend, and I should've just backed off. I know that if she were to do that with Max I'd get upset too. When she demonstrated it to me with him, I still got mad, even though she was clearly just pretending. I can't just apologize, that is simply not enough, especially after her having to tell the entire gang just to get her message across. She'll never forgive me at this rate.

I sigh and get up from bed, it's almost time to get to breakfast and I was nowhere near ready. Not that I was in any mood to be with everyone, now that they know everything. I mean they are surely thinking horrible things about me. I have no choice in the matter really; I will just have to by on my brave face. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and combed my hair into a high ponytail in the bathroom. I then dragged my feet to the closet and pulled out my red uniform blouse and black skirt. I slipped on my knee high navy blue socks then shoved my feet into a pair of plain red flats. I grab my bag and head out to Menu's. I sit at the table nearest to the entrance, that way I could rush out when I was done eating. The gang was sitting at the usual table, but I didn't bother to acknowledge them: I didn't want to get stared at because of last night's fight. I had only noticed my lack of an appetite when the waiter came over. I ordered a strawberry smoothie, something light that wouldn't make me want to vomit right now. I took small sips through the straw and stared out the window. Max sits in the seat across from me with a sympathetic smile. I really wasn’t in the mood for company.

"I heard about what happened between you and Lizzy..." He searched my face to check if I had been crying or not.

I folded my arms onto the table and burry my face into them. Great, I am sure the whole school knows what an awful sister I am by now. He strokes my arm and I get the urge to smack it away from me. I didn't like to be comforted by anyone other than my sister. The problem here was that I couldn't get comfort by the one I hurt. I allowed him to do this until I really got fed up and decided that staying in the cafeteria wasn't going to help me calm down. I march out of Menu's with Max close behind.

"Did I mention how cute you look in uniform?" He said with a helpless tone, I know he was trying to cheer me up; it wasn’t working.

"Yes Max. Yesterday, like three times," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Lighten up a bit, will ya'?" He asked with an easy tone. I stop and turn to face him.

"What?" I scoff.

"Look, I know you're upset about your fight with your sister, but I had nothing to do with it. Don't be mad at me." I couldn't hold it in anymore. I burst into tears at that moment. Max was shocked at my sudden change in mood, being that this is the first time that he's seen me cry. He drops his bag and walks over to me. He hugs me and places my head to his chest. I started to cry harder, how did I even end up like this? When did things change with me and Lizzy? When had everything gone so wrong? "It's going to be okay Ally, I'm sure it is. Just give it some time." He forced me to look up at him, wiping my tears.

"Maybe you are right," I tried to stop crying; I didn't want to go to class with puffy red eyes. I lift his arm to check the time on his watch: 8:52. "I should get to class now." I say, pushing away from him.

"I'll walk you there." He picks up his bag, slipping his arm through one of the straps.

He grabs my hand and we start walking to the music building. Once we get there I kiss him on the cheek then walk in. The dance building was only a few feet away, so I guess I will be meeting him for lunch. I walk in and take my seat. Vic isn't here. I figured he wouldn't be. If Lizzy took today off from the emotional stress, no doubt he'd be by her side. I sigh, taking out the materials needed for the class from my book bag. I open my notebook and write my name and the date at the top of the page. While I was at it, I take out a pencil and erase the doodle I made of me and Vic's names. I realized how inappropriate it was now that I took the time to look at it in Lizzy's point of view. I stick the pencil back into my bag and wait for Mr. Timberlake to start teaching. I feel a light thud on my head and turn around to see Jack pointing at the paper ball he just threw at me. I pick it up, rolling my eyes, opening it to see what was written inside.

"I'm here if you need someone to talk to," was scrawled in his rushed handwriting.

I turn back to him and mouth "thanks", him smiling sweetly in response.

Would you look at that, we were already making up. I guess that could count as something good for today. I am just trying to look for some bright side of this whole thing. JT starts to teach and gives me more than a few sad smiles in the first half hour. Even he knows, ugh. I just want to crawl back into bed and think of a way to make this all better. I had to fix this somehow. It was safe to say that I wasn’t paying attention in class.

The rest of the day went by really slow. Today wasn't the best of days anyway, hopefully tomorrow will be better. After eating a light dinner I head straight to my room, by passing the gang once again. When I get in my room, I take a shower and put on my pajamas. I grab the TV remote, jump on the bed and turn it on. I flip through the channels, unsatisfied by what's on at this time. I finally leave it on LOL, that movie with Miley Cyrus in it. I hear a knock on my door after a while, and ignore, but the person knocks again so I groan and walk over to it. I suddenly get excited thinking that maybe it could Lizzy. Maybe she had come over talk to me so we could fix this whole mess, but to my disappointment when I open the door I find Jack there instead.

"Hi," he says while casually leaning against the side of the door frame.

"Hey," I say unable to hide my disappointment in my voice.

"H-how are you?" He was visibly nervous being here, I could tell.

"I'm fine, thanks, you?" I lied, I could tell that this was awkward for him; I was too exhausted to care.

"Last night...that was some pretty intense stuff." He shifted between both of his feet as he stared at the floor.

"Yeah, thanks for reminding me." I shuffle back to my bed and lay down.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay." He stepped into the doorway of my room.

"I said I'm fine-" I start to say dismissively, I just want him to leave me alone.

"No, no you're not." He walks fully into my room closing the door behind him. "You've been out of it for days, and this fight just made it worse. I'm sorry if me yelling at you really had an impact on you, I was just upset at the time."

"All due respect Jack, this isn't about you right now.” I gave him a glare. “As you can tell, I'm bummed about Lizzy being mad at me, not our little argument the other day. Did you really think that I was going to dwell on that for long? If you're mad at me for choosing Max, fine, I get it. But right now isn't the time to talk about that."

"I understand that. And you're right; I'm here to comfort you, not to argue with you." He walks over to my bed and sits down. "What're you watching?"

"LOL." I stare at the TV refusing to look at him.

"What's so funny?" He asked confused.

"No, that's the name of the movie, moron." I huff and mentally will him to leave.

"Oh, ha." He kicks off his shoes and lays down, propping the pillows up to level his head.

Who does this guy think he is?

"Don't get too comfortable, I'm going to kick you out in a second." I nudge him in the ribs with my foot.

"Ugh why?" He whines, turning to face me.

"Because I'm super tired, now leave." I shut the TV off and place the remote on my nightstand.

"Ahh c'mon, don't be a party pooper." He pouts, making him look like a child begging for a new toy.

"No, I'm going to be a party pooper." I nudge him once again.

He sighs. "You suck man."

He shoves his feet into his sneakers and reties the laces. When he's done, he gets up and walks around the bed to my side. He stands there smiling at me, waiting for me to talk first.

"What?" I try to contain my displeasure with him still being here.

"Nothing." He gives me a big goofy grin.

"Um okay weirdo, goodnight." I rolled over so that he couldn’t see my face anymore.

He leans down to hug me then walks to the door, turning the knob. "Goodnight Ally, see you tomorrow." Then he leaves, closing the door lightly.

I turn onto my side and shut my eyes. Even though I was already really tired it will still be hard to fall asleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the stuff that has happened between me and Lizzy. I can’t believe she was so incredibly unhappy and she never told me.

“I don’t trust you Ally.” I couldn’t get those words out of my head.

They seemed to echo endlessly through my skull. The mixture of hurt, disgust and anger on Lizzy’s face flashes in my mind with those very words. I was half-joking when I started to complain about my day, even if I was sort of pissed Lizzy told me off about Vic. I should have kept my mouth shut, or addressed it in private. I was caught off guard when Lizzy even said anything back, she never causes a scene. In fact, Lizzy usually never says much or anything when I say hurtful words to her. I am such an idiot. When she responded I shouldn’t have said anything back, but no. I was just so hurt that she said I can’t keep my hands to myself; I made a dumb choice to let my emotions guide the conservation. Lizzy is usually the one always telling me to be rational when my emotions surge like that, to just be cool. I should have never called her mentally ill, especially not in front of everyone.

I pulled my pillow over my head to try and block out our voices as I relived last night. Of course that didn’t work but I really wish it did. I could still hear her telling me to go to hell but then changing her mind and telling me to stop talking to her. I could see how serious she was in her face. I could see the deep hurt that was drowning her in her eyes. I still hear her calling me a brat, telling me that I was the reason for all of her pain. Pain I didn’t even know she had, pain that she had hidden so well. Tomorrow I'll try to apologize to Lizzy, and I hope she forgives me. Otherwise, I won't know what to do with myself. How will I make it through anything without Lizzy by my side? I can't let our relationship die out like this, I have to make it better, and I think I know exactly how to. With that thought I finally drifted into sleep.