Hidden Pictures

She removed the box of photos she had hidden under her floorboard when she was eleven. Carefully removing the lids to reveal its contents. She double checked that her door was locked and picked up the first photo. Gently rubbing her thumb across the picture to remove the thing film of dust from the two figures. Here were her parents, looking so happy, so different. She knew well enough that this photo was taken a year after her birth. Five years before the divorce proceedings would begin, and a year after they had begun they would end. For her, she knew, that she would live a lifetime with the consequences of their broken marriage. The picture had yellowed and her hand slightly shook. She had taken these photos from her mom before she moved out. When she was young all she did was sneak gazes at them and wish for things to return to those times. Now she would just wish that it was okay for her to acknowledge that they were once a family. A small yet happy (at least that's how she remembers it) family. She felt like holding this picture was a betrayal to her little brothers, to her step-dad, the things that resulted from the split. She knew better, it wasn't her fault that she felt this way. That she still sometimes wished things would have ended up differently so she could have been spared.

It had been twenty years since these pictures had been hidden. Twenty years since she was the little girl who dreamed of her parents making up. She put the picture back on the top of the pile and gazed at her left hand. A ring glinted at her with the promise to soon be joined by another. Her stomach knotted up and she sighed. She knew her future husband was well aware of her past, he saw first hand the affects it had on their relationship. She wondered for the hundredth time if she should even be getting married. If she would have a different outcome from that of her parents. She was sure they never thought that they would end up apart. In two households, in two different states, with two new spouses and one broken up daughter. She took off the ring because it started to feel heavy and placed it in the box. A top the pile of old photos from a different life time. Walking to the window to peer at the birds as they sung on the backyard trees. She was unsure if she was making the right choice.

This man had spent five years convincing her to love again, then two years begging her to marry him. Her heart squeezed from the pain she was sure she caused him. He didn't deserve to be treated this way, to have his person be riddle with doubts due to a choice made by her parents before he had even known she existed. Once again she wished he loved another more worthy then she. Someone who was capable loving free of these feelings, free of these fears. She rubbed her empty finger and turned to retrieve the ring from the box. She spotted a piece of paper in the box she had never seen before. It appeared much newer compared to the other items. She slipped on her ring and picked up the paper. When she unfolded it, her eyes widen.

Dear Baby Girl, the note began.

I knew one day you would open this box again. The one you thought you hide so well. I knew that one day you would wonder if you should marry because of what happened to your father and I. I am so sorry you had to go through this. Sorry that I couldn't foresee the end. I am also not sorry, because I have you. My beautiful baby girl who deserves to be loved. Do not make him pay for our mistakes.

With all my love,
Mommy

She choked back tears and put the letter back in the box. Sealing the box she smiled. Her mother always seemed to know everything. A knocked on the door startled her and her fiance whispered.

"Two days till our forever."

In that moment, she decided to let herself hope. She would work to make his words their realty.