I Don't Love You

Alliyson's POV;

Frank was gone to England on Wednesday. I didn't want him to go but hey, it was something he had to do. It was his job after all. I wished that I could go with him but I don't know, I decided to stay home with John.

Oh wait, I'm always home. And John's never home. That's right...

Well, he was home now.

He grumbled next to me and I smiled. He really was a gorgeous man. His lips fluttered sleepily as he snored. One of his big arms were wrapped around me, the other on his pillow by his head. A really big teddy bear, that's what I liked to call him.

I kissed the top of his head softly. I couldn't imagine ever hurting this man - he was so adorable sometimes. And it made me wonder what he thought about me when I was sleep. Although I usually look a fucking mess, John's thoughts could be different.

Oops, there I go again. John barely ever sees me a sleep because I'm always here and he's always...somewhere else. And I always wake before him.

John stirred in his sleep, then opened his mouth and yawned, pulling me closer.

"Morning babe," he murmured.

He turned over, pulled me closer and wrapped his other arm around me. He buried his head into the crook in my neck. I chuckled quietly, a broken smile forming on my face and put my arms around his neck. Seeing as how it was the only place my arms could ever fit on. John kissed my neck until it began to tickle.

"John stop it," I begged, giggling all the same.

John smiled at me, his eyes sparkling with happiness and a sly grin formed on his gorgeous face. I raised one eyebrow at him as his large hands slid down my body and soon enough, he was grabbing at my sides and tickling the hell out of me. I shrieked out loud, jumping all over and grabbed for his hands, attempting to make him stop.

He finally stopped and pulled me close, pressing his warm lips against mine softly.

"Come on champ, I'll make you a sandwich," I told him once he pulled away, using the nickname I gave him and got out of bed.

[Time Elapse]

After cooking, I finally sat down next to John in the living room. Ruby lay on the floor, her head on top of her paws as she watched me eagerly as I set a couple plates down, John following. This was probably the only time I ever liked the damn dog, and that was when she was knew 'Daddy' was home.

On the coffee table sat a huge plate of pancakes, another with bacon, syrup, and two cups of coffee, toast, some salt, and both John and my separate plate of eggs. He likes his scrambled with pepper, I liked egg whites with salt.

"Yum," John announced, turned to smile at me mischievously, and made himself a bacon, egg, pancake, and toast sandwich. I almost gagged, that was so fucking disgusting! Like I hated mixing my food, I had to have my food all-separate and none of it could touch or go in at the same time.

I stared at John in awe as he bit into his 'sandwich', grinning at me as a piece of bacon hung out of his mouth. I made a face as Ruby whined, now standing up and sitting closest to me. She knew not to ask 'Daddy' for food, so I picked up a dry pancake and fed it to her to shut her up. When she left me alone, I grabbed my plate of eggs and sprinkled loads of salt on top and took a bite with my fork.

"Yarf," Ruby yelped suddenly and ran up the stairs to the second floor.

"Your phone," John said, gulping down his first bite and took another, while simultaneously turning on the TV.

Indeed, as Ruby came back, my Sidekick strap was in her mouth, the phone itself dangling. I finished my eggs, ate a piece of bacon, and opened it to find a new text message from Frank.

Frank - Cheers
Me - Morning lovey
Frank - Lol not morning here. How are you?
Me - Eating breakfast.
Frank - and John?
Me - Next to me with his gross sandwich.

"Who are you texting?" John mumbled - his eyes glued to the television.

"Frank. He's in England, you know."

John snorted and rolled his eyes, "I've been to England loads of times..."

Me - John's being stubborn. I told him I was talking to you and that you were in England and he got all upset or w/e so I'll ttyl
Frank - Yeah later

John put his plate down, now finished with his 'sandwich' as I began on my pancakes. He picked up his cup of coffee and spun the spoon, the light clanking noise sounding loudly. I kept one eye on him as I swallowed and he fed Ruby one last pancake and then suddenly put down his cup and turned to me.

"So you gonna tell me what's going on with you two now?" He asked, desperately trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

"Nothing dear," I sighed. Not this again.

"You're lying."

"Am not."

"Your ears are turning light red."

"Shut up, no they aren't," I shot back and fumed. They probably were now, thanks to him.

"You like him, don't you?"

"Whatever John, we've been over this."

Why couldn’t I just answer the question?

"So who are you gonna be with then?"

"Oh my god, what is it with you? Who am I already with, John? And for two years - nonetheless. What don't you fucking understand?" I asked.

John looked away, scratching the top of his head. I turned away from him, disgusted with his behavior and put down my plate, no longer having the appetite for food. I picked up my cup of coffee and sipped on it quietly.

God, why was my boyfriend so obnoxious? John was never like this, he never got jealous or asked questions in this manner. He usually trusted me; he learned to trust me after two years building the relationship we had now. He knew me pretty damn well, almost as much as anyone else, as I did him. So couldn't he just understand?

Yeah, there was something with Frank. Something I couldn't really explain, something that caused me to talk to him all the time and smile when he texted me, and laugh at his jokes. But I couldn't give up everything I had with John, for Frank.

It wasn't fair.

John finally sighed and turned to me, wringing his hands as he scooted closer to me. I continued to sip on my coffee, not showing that I was acknowledging his actions. But in a quick, swift movement, John scooped me up in his arms. He took one hand and slid it up my back and the other grabbed at my coffee cup and set it down on the coffee table.

He rubbed my spine with his thumb gingerly as he kept his eyes on mine, secretly pleading deep within them, "I'm sorry."

I gave a frustrated sigh and closed my eyes, opening them again and saying, "It's okay John, just forget about it."

John leaned down to my jaw line, kissing down to my neck, as he muttered, "Never leave me," into my skin, the simple statement flowing around into my mind.

Fuck, what am I doing?