I Don't Love You

*Frank's POV; Chapter 33

When I woke up for about the second time, my own face stared back at me. I smirked at the faces of my band mates on the poster in front of the bed on the opposite wall, Mikey's dorky stare, Bob and Ray looking too serious and Gerard ... lovely little Gerard with his 'I'm smirking but hey, I'm serious too' look. And of course my own face, standing at Gerard's side, my hands in my pockets.

I missed those bitches a lot. And I missed always being at Gerard's side.

Iron Maiden's Eddie the head stared back at me too, along with the guys from Anthrax and I heard shallow breathing from next to me, noticing it for the first time since I woke up.

I smirked, looking away from Alliyson's posters and looked up at her, she sleeping contently under my arm, and my hand at the side of her head. I started to stroke her face softly, not enough to wake her up and watched her sleep, her lips fluttering sleepily and her lip rings bouncing a little.

My heart soared when I remembered what happened last night, how I had held her close during every orgasm and my breath caught in my throat.

My stomach randomly started grumbling from under me and I stared back at Alliyson, afraid I had woken her up but when I looked, she was still asleep, her eyes still closed.

I pulled away from Alliyson slowly and right when I was about to leave the bed I realized I was butt fucking naked.

Well thanks for leaving me naked Alliyson.

I searched around the bottom of the bed with my foot, finally finding my pajama pants, which were left forgotten at the end of the bed in the heat of the moment. I pulled out of the bed and pulled my pants on, slipping into the bathroom to catch a glimpse at myself.

I almost laughed out loud at my appearance. My now growing hair hung around my head lazily in a huge mess, now noticing love bites decorating my neck. I smirked, I definitely had sex hair and it was actually kind of attractive.

I left the bathroom and sauntered into the kitchen, slowly closing Alliyson's door so she could sleep peacefully. I glanced on the time on the microwave and it read "12:15".

I sighed and opened up the fridge, looking around for something to eat. There was only some Smirnoff Ice, Barcardi Breezers, and Mike's Hard Lemonade inside, along with a jug of water, a carton of jelly, sweetened milk, ketchup, chocolate syrup, and other stuff but the thing I stared at the most was all the alcohol.

Jesus, I never knew Alliyson was packing so much. I knew she drank from the first time we hung out and the first night we kissed, she was drunk that night and so was I but damn. She had THREE different types in her fridge.

I closed the door, not bothering to look in the freezer and opened up the few cabinets on the wall. Some had cups and plates and I finally found the ones with the food. She had wine (which shocked me, again), two different types of sugar, cookie mix, syrup, flour, and other stuff but I found what I was looking for. Pancake mix.

I pulled out the pancake mix but I must've bumped into something because a whole tray fell out, all with pill bottles inside.

I gasped and picked up the tray, grabbing all of the medication containers and set them down on the counter. I saw ibuprofen and Zyrtec, Claritin and an assortment of other brands that I didn't recognize, also some painkillers that I knew from experience and normal things like Tylenol and Advil, then allergy Tylenol.

I decided to stop being such a nosy rat and put them all back into the tray and set the tray back in the cabinet and grabbed at the pancake mix, hurrying so I could eat.

The box said I needed water and the mix only so I went back in the fridge and got the carton of water out, also a cup from the cabinet, a bowl, and a huge spoon. I measured out the water and pancake mix then mixed them together. I put the water and the mix back and found a skillet and a frying pan, turning on the stove and setting the skillet on top of the burner.

As soon as it was ready I poured out about four spoonfuls of the mix and waited for the bubbles so I could flip them. I flipped and poured for a while until I had a good amount of pancakes, the batter all finished and I turned off the stove. I turned around for the syrup and searched the cabinet right when I heard a door open.

Alliyson stepped out of her room, now in her shorts from last night and .. my shirt?

I smirked as she walked into the kitchen, emotionless and hugged me, burying her face into my chest and I wrapped my arms around her, setting my head on her shoulder and closing my eyes.

She smelt like she always did, some girl stuff that I'm sure I'd never know the name of. Only now she smelled like sweet, passionate sex and .. me.

"You smell like sex," She murmured and I chuckled lightly, hiccuping in between.

"So do you. You hungry?," I asked and she nodded eagerly, smiling at me.

Her head was a mess, she definitely got the worst of the sex head and I ruffled her hair, going around to the chairs on the other side of the stove at the counter and set the plate of pancakes in front of her as she sat down, and handed her the syrup. I took a seat next to her and kissed the side of her head as I grabbed for a pancake and tore open the container, dropping syrup on the surface.

Alliyson and I sat there for a while, finishing the pancakes and almost all of the syrup and soon enough the plate was empty and Alliyson and I were back on the couch, cuddled up in each other arms. We still barely said more than four words to each other, not talking as we ate and I smiled longingly at her on top of me.

I frowned when she kissed me because well duh, I could taste myself inside of her mouth and I pushed her away. She stared at me questioningly and I just looked away, remembering what I wanted to ask her.

"What was with all the pills and booze?," I asked softly and I felt Alliyson tense up immediately. She shook her head slowly.

"I told you already, I'm allergic to a lot of things," She explained and now I shook my head.

"There was other stuff in there too, not just allergy medicine."

"I know, thats because I get frequent ear infections and when I get sick I have to take allergy medicine and other medicine too," She went on to say and I still looked away from her.

"And the booze?"

"So I like to drink," Alliyson shot back and I finally looked up at her. She was playing with my bare chest, sliding her fingers up and down.

"You sure do have a lot," I concluded and she nodded.

"Haven't had any in a while."

"Well that's good," I said and smiled.

Silence.

"Okay that's it I'm just gonna ask," I finally spat out and she looked up at me, fear in the corner of her eye. "Was I any good or are you always like this after sex?"

She chuckled and I frowned at her. "I'm serious," I added and she stopped laughing.

"All right. Frank you were fine, I'm always like this k?," She answered and I frowned more.

"Just FINE?," I sneered and she laughed some more.

"Oh shut up. If it makes you feel any better I've never orgasmed so many times," She added and I grinned.

"That's more like it."

We sat there talking about sex until I finally turned up my nose in disgust and stared at her when she finished talking.

"Ja?," She asked and I sniffed at the air.

"We smell like sex and sweat," I concluded and started laughing, my annoying hiccuping laugh ringing through the apartment.

"Shower?," She suggested and I nodded eagerly, she raising up from me and heading towards the bathroom. I sat back on the couch.

"What are you doing?," She asked suddenly and I sat up and looked at her. I tilted my head in a confused way.

"Get up, we're showering teeny-butt. It's nothing we haven't seen before," Alliyson said and grinned and I rose up from the couch smiling, already tearing at my pajama pants as I approached the door.

~Time Elapse~

After Alliyson and I showered together and I almost exploded in that stupid shower we got dressed in anything and just sat around the house doing nothing.

"You know ..," Alliyson said randomly and I looked up from the computer screen at her standing next to me. "You could always play guitar."

"Don't have one and Pansy died."

"I meant Dan's. He has like twenty guitars but he left his see through flying V here."

As soon as she said that I flew up from the computer chair and jumped into Dan's room, searching and finding his see through guitar in the corner of the room, never noticing it before.

I grabbed it and carried it to the living room where Alliyson sat waiting on the couch, a smile on her delicate face.

"Write me a song about passionate sex and a bed that smells the same," Alliyson ordered when I sat down and I held the guitar in my hands, giggling with my stupid laugh again. I slid my fingers over the neck, sliding down the strings and I strummed my fingers on the middle with a pick I found on his dresser.

"Yes Mom," I giggled and strummed at the guitar, finally finding a rhythm.

I started randomly singing about fucking my girlfriend in the ass and how she moaned all night and anytime I wasn't there she'd want to kill herself. Also how she complained about how I made her bed smell like sex and cigarettes, ordering me to come over and clean it up.

When I finished Alliyson was sitting on the corner of the couch holding her stomach, laughing hysterically and I set the guitar down next to the couch. I pounced on her and started tracing my fingers along her sides, tickling her and she broke into a bigger fit of giggles. She smacked at me and attempted to make me stop and I didn't until she started tickling me, me turning red in the face and making my high pitched sounding hiccup laugh and I finally threw her off of me and jumped off the couch, catching my breath.

"Kinda reminds you of last night doesn't it huh Frankie?," She blurted out and went back to laughing, now making humping movements.

I growled at her and tackled her onto the couch, planting kisses all over her face.

I fucking hated her, because it did remind me of last night and I could still feel her hands on my back, her nails digging into it as she screamed out my name in my ear.

Only now she was calling out my name to make me stop so I planted one final kiss on her lips and she relaxed, planting her hands on my chest as I held her in my arms.

When I pulled away from her she smiled up at me and I shuddered as shivers creeped down my spine. That was the smile that always set me off, and we just had the kiss that let me know I'd never forget her.

"Wednesday," She said randomly when I was sure I was staring at her for forever. I furrowed my eyebrows at her.

"We'll go back next wendesday, okay? Gerard asked that I 'return you' sometime soon."

"Oh. Yeah, we're probably gonna do the new video soon and I'm supposed to be in that, haha," I said, realizing why he said that and then Alliyson's face changed.

"Frank, get your phone real quick?," She asked and I nodded at her odd request and jumped off of her and ran into her room, grabbing my sidekick off of the sidetable and walking back into the living room. Alliyson sat up straight now and patted the spot next to her.

"Why did you make me ge-," I started but she cut me off.

"Why does Gerard think you're in luck?," She asked and I froze.

"You read my text message?," I asked and she shook her head.

"It flashed on the screen."

"Oh. Well .. um .. I ..," I started, clearly embarrassed.

I was not about to tell her that I told Gerard that I thought I was in love with her. I mean I was obviously in some sort of infatuation, by the way I shivered whenever she kissed me. Or how I looked at her, and how I held her and how I kissed her and how I touched her and ..

Last night .. last night was wow. I never felt more connected to one person in my entire life with just skin smacking against skin, and not much talking going on. And not only that, the morning after wasn't awkward either.

But I wasn't about to tell her I loved her. I didn't feel like it was the right moment, this was just a really awkward conversation between us. A conversation that would only go one way if I told her.

"It was really nothing," I lied and she stared at me intently and I felt her huge brown eyes burning into my skin, eating away at me. She probably knew I was lying.

"Okay," She mumbled softly and crossed her arms over chest. She pouted slightly and all I really wanted to do was kiss her now but I held back, she probably didn't want me to since she was obviously upset.

I turned away and set my phone down on the coffee table, pulling my legs up on the couch and folding my own arms, biting on my lip ring. I couldn't stand not telling her but it wouldn't feel right, I just couldn't.

"Well tonight well tonight will it ever come?," She sang softly and I felt tingles creep throughout my body as she sang the ever familiar song.

"Spend the rest of your days rocking out just for the dead .."

"Alliyson ..," I started and she turned to stare at me, then she looked down.

I stood up from the couch and went back into her room, grabbing my cigarettes and lighter and walked back into the living room and walked over to her window and opened it. I climbed through and ended up on her balcony and shut the window slowly.

I pulled out one cigarette and dropped the pack back on the window sill and then lit it. I felt the nicotine creep into my lungs and I inhaled and exhaled slowly, automatically feeling relaxed and calm.

I hadn't smoked in forever, because Alliyson hated it but I needed it now.

I needed it because I was stressed out about her, about our whole situation. It had become complicated now, more complicated then it was before. Because now we had sex, now we had a connection between us and now we probably didn't know what to do. And I was probably leaving next week for god knows how long.

I don't think we even used a condom. Oh god, this could end badly.

I continued smoking and leaned over the railing, tapping the ash off and sticking the stick back into my mouth. I stared around at the alley behind Alliyson's apartment, seeing birds chirping and picking at forgotten garbage below me.

I smirked as a couple birds started fighting over one piece of bread and I heard the window open and Alliyson stepped out onto the balcony, sitting on the windowsill next to my pack of cigarettes.

I felt her watching me and I could almost hear her thinking intently. She finally stood up and stroked my full sleeve of tattoos, kissing me on the cheek as I finished my cigarette and dropped it, stepped on it and kicked it off the balcony.

"Frank ..," She cooed softly and I felt my heart soared as I turned to her, a slight sadness in her eyes.

Damnit, I didn't want her to be sad. I couldn't handle her being upset.

Back when I yelled at her for not talking to me so long and how I was so worried because of what happened to John, she got really REALLY upset.

And I also got extremely upset after I screamed at her and I broke down and cried, for the first time in a while.

That's when I knew I had feelings for this girl, feelings I'd never had for anyone else in my entire life. Feelings I'd never be able to understand, feelings that haunted me in my dreams and my nightmares.

Feelings that had me turn around and plant a soft kiss on her delicate lips, my own rubbing against her lip rings and I felt her smile as she pulled away.

"Come to the park with me?," Alliyson asked softly and I grinned.

"Sure."