I Don't Love You

*Frank's POV; Chapter 37

My chest felt oddly wet.

And my neck burned, and I felt exhausted.

My first thoughts as I woke up the next morning, my throat aching and my neck feeling sore. I tore my eyes open and searched around the room for anything out of the ordinary.

Alliyson's room was still messy as fuck, clothes littered all over the place. 'Strawberry Fields Forever' written in red marker on her mirror screamed at me from across the room and I heard a buzzing come from next to me.

I turned slightly and reached over to pick up Alliyson's sidekick, a text message flashing on the screen.

Ana: YOU HAVE TO TEXT ME BACK BECA... it read and I frowned, no fucking clue what she was talking about.

I set the phone back down and looked down at the sleeping figure in my arms.

Alliyson lay asleep on top of me, and I mean completely on top of me. Each of her legs was on either side of me and she was cheek down on my chest. Drool creeped out of her mouth and that was obviously why my chest was wet. Her arm slung lazily at my side and her Cami was up a little bit, her tattoo visible on her back.

I smiled but then my head immediately stung and I frowned.

Why the fuck did my head hurt so much? What the fuck happened last night?

Oh yeah, we drank a lot of Alliyson's liquor stash and got skittles all over the fucking living room.

But my neck still burned.

Alliyson started to stir from on top of me and she sat up suddenly, sitting on my waist. She yawned and stretched, spreading her arms out and her shirt still up and revealing the tattoo on her stomach now. I reached out and touched it softly, Alliyson shivered and I smiled again, only to wince in pain.

"Got a headache?," Alliyson asked and I nodded, my head still throbbing.

"Fucking vodka..," She mumbled absentmindedly and hopped off my waist, slightly stumbling off the bed and staggering into the bathroom.

She slammed the door and I winced again, the sound of the door slamming irritating my already growing headache. I heard Alliyson throw up once and flush the toilet, frowning at the thought of her getting sick. I heard the tap run and turn off and Alliyson emerged from the bathroom, looking just how she normally looked and a smile on her face.

"Sorry," she apologized and I smirked slightly. "I always have to get rid of it to feel better."

Alliyson hopped back onto the bed, slipping herself back on top of my crotch and planted her hands on my waist. She peered down at me as I watched her and she kept staring at me until I frowned at her and sneered,"What are you looking at !"

"I uh ... well .. okay well this is rather embarrassing. But whatever, suck my cock. When I'm drunk I'm everyones best friend and everyones lover when it matters. I'm sure that will go away all in due time ..," She said and I folded my arms.

"What are you talking about !"

"Oh well .. you haven't seen a mirror yet. But uh okay ..,"She said softly and leaned down towards my face, taking her finger and rubbing it over the spot on my neck that ached.

"Ow ! What the fuck babe !," I shrieked and she giggled softly. Now my headache was getting worse ..

"Like I said, I'm a horny fuck when I'm drunk and I left this huge ass hickey mark thing on your neck. Don't worry, it'll go away," She continued and I threw her off of me to get up off the bed and head towards the mirror on her vanity. I peered at my neck, extending it to get a good look to see a huge red mark on my neck, only visible if you're standing next to me.

"Alliyson, what the fuck !," I groaned and she giggled, so I turned around and glared at her.

"I probably gave you a hand job while you were drunk and asleep. Don't worry, it's happened before," Alliyson said simply and I stared at her.

"Excuse me !," I exclaimed and she smiled.

"Check your dick," She mused and I tore open my pajama pants, to stare down at myself. I, in fact, had nail marks in certain parts staring back at me. I let go of my pants and stared back at her to see her in a fit of giggles, sitting indian style on the bed.

"What the fuck !," I growled and she stood up and folded her arms, walking out of the room.

"So I get rough," She shrugged and I followed her to the living room.

I snickered at the sight of it, the TV still on and a huge bag of Skittles left on the coffee table. On the floor were bottles and more skittles, plus my pack of cigarettes and lighter and my sidekick.

"We left the TV on .. well thats a new one," She smirked and walked over to shut it off, the buzzing making my head hurt.

I picked up the bottles off the floor and dropped them next to the sink while Alliyson searched the cabinets for medicine. She found them and popped two pills in her mouth, and handing me two. I swallowed them, the hard tablets scratching at my throat before settling inside my stomach. As Alliyson put the container away I hugged her from behind and looked at the microwave for the time, wincing at the brightness of the clock.

12:55, it read and I snorted.

"We can never get up early," Alliyson mused from in front of me, basically reading my mind and I smiled.

"Lets go out for lunch," I muttered into her neck, pressing my lips against the skin and felt Alliyson shiver slightly.

"Sure," She said and smiled, leading me back into her room to get dressed.

~Time Elapse~

After Alliyson and I got dressed she drove us over to Wendy's. We sat there and ate, making a mess of the salt, pepper, ketchup, and frosty. The people tried to kick us out until they realized who it was, and then just kindly asked us to leave so they could clean it up.

We left, after Alliyson got another frosty and went back to the car only to sit there for a good twenty minutes making out. It didn't do much except get me started and beg her to get me home so I could actually do something.

Instead Alliyson teased me, driving around for a while until my hard had finally gone down and I refused to talk to her until she drove me home.

Which is where we sat now. Home, bored, and lazily playing Guitar Hero II. We had played just about every song, even switching to XBOX 360 so we could play Dead ! and The Trooper.

"Hm, I've got to go to the bathroom," I said after we finished 'Tattooed Love Boys', which Alliyson dedicated to me.

"Uh huh, I'll just play something quick like 'Woman'," She replied, obviously not interested in my bathroom needs and I set down the controller and walked into the bathroom but hearing my cell phone buzz from the charger in Alliyson's room.

I stalked over to my phone on the floor and picked it up, reading a new mass message from Brian, saying that we had to do the new video for 'I Don't Love You' soon since Gerard's birthday had already passed.

I smirked, knowing I took care of Gerard's present with the guys before I left but then feeling sad knowing I wasn't there to share the look on Gerard's face.

All of a sudden I heard a huge slam, coming from the front of the house and Alliyson stopped the video game. Right when I was about to call out Alliyson's name to make sure she was okay I heard a voice growl, 'Get up.'

I froze. My heart stopped. My face turned white and my knees buckled, threatening to fall.

I knew that voice. I used to be jealous of the owner of that voice, fearing them and wanting everything they had.

It was John's voice.

I creeped over to the bathroom door, opening it slightly to see Alliyson standing up in front of the couch, the game on pause and John standing by the door. He still stood at a powerful 6'1, his arms folded and a grim look on his face, fire in his eyes.

"You think this shit is funny?," He growled slowly and I heard Alliyson whimper softly before she squeaked 'No John.'

"What was that? Speak fucking louder Alliyson !," He yelled and I felt my heartbeat quicken.

Please don't let him hurt her. I'd fucking kill him.

"I said no !," She cried softly and my heart ached. She was crying.

"Why the .. I mean what the ... WHAT THE FUCK ALLIYSON?," he yelled, almost like he was her father, like he was the authority.

"Who the FUCK do you think you are John? Don't fucking yell at me like that you fucking bastard, you know I don't like being yelled at !," She screamed back, now visibly shaking with fear and anger.

"No you see you don't get to tell me what to do now, so just shut the fuck up !," John yelled and I almost threw the door open. How dare he talk to her like that !

"You didn't fucking want me anyway so I can tell you to fucking burn in hell if I fucking want to !," She shrieked and I smiled at Alliyson's quick tongue.

"No one said they didn't fucking want you you stupid diluted bitch !"

"What the fuck John, you don't get to fucking call me a diluted bitch in my own fucking house, go to hell !"

"No I'll say whatever the fuck I want to !"

"You really won't because I'm kicking you out so please fucking leave."

"No I'm not fucking leaving until I get some fucking answers. Why the fuck would you just fucking up and leave and not call me, not text me, not fucking ANYTHING? And where the fuck do you go, fucking New York !"

"I fucking live in New York thank you very fucking much."

"No you don't you fucking live in Florida with me !"

"I obviously didn't when you kicked me out," Alliyson murmured and I watched her turn away from him, anger boiling inside of me.

"Alliyson please ....," John said, his voice softening at seeing that she was obviously hurt and took a step towards her.

"Don't fucking come near me !," She yelled but John took a step towards her anyway, backing her up against the wall.

"I love you !," John yelled and punched the wall behind Alliyson's head. "I fucking love you more than fucking anything, is that not enough for you !"

Alliyson whimpered from in front of him, her face just inches from where there was now a dent in the wall. Her eyes widened as tears poured down her face and she looked away from him.

"You always wanted fucking more Alliyson ! Could never get enough of one thing now could you? Always wanted more ! Well now you've gotten what you've wanted Alliyson, you got me running after you like I always do ...," John cried and looked around the room frantically, trying his hardest not to look at Alliyson.

His eyes traveled over the couch and at my pack of cigarettes and lighter, left there from this morning and the two Guitar Hero controllers. John walked away from Alliyson and she slumped against the wall, holding herself and glancing at the bathroom door to see my one eye peering through it. She pleaded with me to look away, to not watch this but I shook my head, hoping she saw me when John picked up my controller and turned to Alliyson.

"You can't play Guitar Hero with two controllers ...," John mumbled absentmindedly, and stared down at my cigarettes. "And none of your friends smoke ..."

I gulped. Any minute now, John was going to burst through this door and tear my little ass apart, limb from limb. I silently wondered if he'd let me tell Alliyson I love her one more time before he slammed my head down into my body.

"YOU'RE HERE WITH A GUY !?," John shouted incredulously and my eyes shot back at Alliyson to see her reaction only to see more tears fall down her face.

"You're here with another fucking guy aren't you Alliyson? How fucking could you? Did you sleep with him? You probably fucking did ... what the FUCK Alliyson !," He yelled again, chucking the controller out of the console and throwing it at Alliyson only for her to dodge it and for it to smash against the side of the computer desk.

John charged towards Alliyson, fear etched all across her beautiful face and I threw open the bathroom door, tired of seeing him beat Alliyson down with words and stormed into the living room.

"Don't fucking hurt her !," I yelled, my fists clenching and anger boiling in me as John turned to me, shock across his own face as he turned away from Alliyson to stare at me.

He turned back at Alliyson and screamed, "YOU CAME HERE WITH FUCKING FRANK?"

"Yes she fucking did," I growled at him, speaking for Alliyson and he turned back to me.

"I wasn't fucking talking to you Frank," He snapped and walked towards me, stomping on the floor.

"Did she tell you you were her everything? Make you feel like she loved you? Slip her stupid little manipulating tongue into your mouth? Stick her deceiving little mouth over your dick?," He yelled at me and it took everything of me to not turn and sock this guy in the face, no matter the consequences.

"Did she whisper that she loved you after you guys were done fucking each others brains out? Did she leave that shit on your neck? Promise to always love you?," He yelled again and fear crept up my spine at his words.

Why the fuck was he saying this?

"Shes a woman Frank, she's never serious. She never means it," He grumbled.

I snapped and screamed at him,"Shut the fuck up !"

"You know its fucking true ! Alliyson's nothing but a liar Frank, a liar thats good at getting what she wants."

"John shut up," Alliyson said, speaking for the first time and John and I both turned to look at her. She was still crying, her face and ears now red.

"You shut the fuck up and get over here ! Now !," He ordered and I stomped my foot on the ground.

"You don't fucking tell her what to do !," I yelled but Alliyson walked towards John anyway.

John forcefully grabbed her, throwing her in front of me but not loosing his grip on her arm, his fingers pressing hard onto her skin that I could now see red creeping up from under it.

"Let her go !," I cried, not wanting him to hurt her but by the way Alliyson whimpered I knew he had already and she stood in front of me.

"CHOOSE !," John bellowed and Alliyson and I stared back at him incredulously, his face red with anger. "Don't fucking look at me that way, I want you to fucking choose right now ! No more of this high school bull fucking shit, choose right now. Me or Frank !"

I gulped, afraid of what her answer was and folded my arms, finally feeling the tears spring from my eyes and slip delicately down my cheeks, the same for Alliyson. I looked up at her, to see her already looking at me, then at John, then at me, then at where John was squeezing her arm, then back at me.

I froze, not wanting to hear her answer. I didn't want her to pick. Not after everything we'd been through, last night and the night we shared and going to Sahina's and the park and everything. After all of that I didn't really think it was going to end, that she was eventually going to have to make a decision.

"I ..," Alliyson stuttered but I prompted her to go on, just to get it over with.

She sighed heavily and whispered, "John."

My heart stopped and my blood stopped pumping. The color drained from my face and my mouth almost dropped open. My skin itched, my headache came back full force and I suddenly felt nauseous.

She had picked John. After everything, she has picked John once and for all. One again I was left in the dust, after everything that had happened. John released his grip on his arm and the color started to return to the spot where he squeezed her.

I walked out of the room into Alliyson's, the tears now coming down my face full force as I slumped down on the bed, my brain still not registering what happened. I peeled off my skirt, now that I had sweat through it and pulled on another one and a hoodie, deciding it was no longer my choice if I stayed.

I searched the room for my clothing and threw it into my suitcase, anything and everything I could find. I flew into the bathroom to grab my other stuff but as soon as I saw the toilet I keeled over it, emptying my stomach from today. When I was finished I flushed, brushed my teeth and grabbed the rest of my stuff to put into my bag. I stepped back into Alliyson's room to find her on the bed, shaking slightly and crying.

I ignored her, not wanting to deal with her right now and continued packing my stuff, not caring if I folded anything.

"Frank ..," Alliyson cried softly but I snorted and continued packing, and finally zipped up my bags and sat them right ways, and stormed over to her vanity mirror.

I picked up the marker that Alliyson always uses to right on it and found a clear spot, scribbling "Ever feel like you've been cheated? Following what they believe? Don't shake the hands of fate." It was a Billy Talent song, the lyrics to 'Burn the Evidence' I slammed the marker down on the counter and turned to Alliyson to find her watching me. I flipped on my hood and zipped it up and took a step towards her.

What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say? Thanks for wasting my time? Thanks for giving me a good time but goodbye now? She must've known I was packing to leave now, now that she didn't want me anymore.

I sat next to her on the bed, probably to close to her as she shook slightly when I touched her. I placed my hand on her face and turned Alliyson to look at me, her eyes finally falling on mine and I pressed my lips against hers hungrily.

No matter how mad at her I was, no matter how hurt and confused and crushed I was, I still loved her and I still wanted her. No matter what.

I slipped my tongue into her mouth and kissed her forcefully, getting rougher and rougher until I pulled away and said, "Goodbye Alliyson."

Alliyson cried harder as I stood up from the bed and grabbed my suitcase and bag, and left the room. Back in the living room John was sprawled out on the couch, his head in his hands. He looked up at me and shot me a confused look, scanning my face for answers.

"Well John .. it's been lovely," I murmured, Alliyson now coming into the room still crying and grabbed for me, clutching onto my arm. I whipped around and stared at her, emotionless and took her hand that I put the ring on last night and held it up in front of her face. "Remember."

I picked back up my bag and slung it over my shoulders, stepping towards the door to hear Alliyson still crying and now on the floor in a heap, John staring at her not knowing what to do. I threw open the door and set my suitcase outside and closed the door.

I walked towards the elevator at the end of the hall, not really registering what I was doing or where I was doing and pressed the button, the elevator doors opening. I stepped inside and slid my suitcase inside of it, and dropped my bag on the floor as the doors closed.

The elevator lurched, sinking down and my stomach dropped. I slid down the wall of the elevator after I pressed the button to go down to the first floor and I sat down on the floor, sprawled out and hurt and cried.

I cried for Alliyson. I cried for our relationship. I cried for us leaving.

But mostly, I cried for myself. I hiccuped and coughed, my heart breaking more and more every second until the elevator signaled it had reached my destination and I bucked up and grabbed my stuff. Heading out of the elevator and into the lobby, then outside the elevator silent tears slid down my face and I wondered where I was going now.

*Author's Note: This is NOT, I repeat, NOT the end of I Don't Love You. I'm probably not going to write much of I Don't Love You for a while. I've been spending most of my time thinking about this story, writing it, and not paying attention to much else. I'm sorry to end it off here but this is such a cliffhanger, don't cha think? (: I'll write more of I Don't Love You and then the end after finals are over and done with, or at least until I'm done with a couple of them. I kind of want to pay attention to my other stories as well, like Sweet Talk 101, and This is How I Disappear. I also would like comments on this too, a ton more to be exact. I want to know what you think is gonna happen, where do you think I'm going to go with this story. And anything else you can think of. Thoughts? Ideas? Comments? When I write the next chapter I'll post who was right about where I'm going with this. (:

TOODLES, PEACE, LOVE, AND METAL \m/ <3