I Don't Love You

*Alliyson's POV; Chapter 42

Frantic.

I was absolutely frantic.

I had talked to Frank yesterday, barely.

God how I missed him, how I missed his voice, his laughter, his sense of humor.

I was supposed to conduct a plan on how I was going to be able to be with Frank again because basically, that's all I wanted right now.

Just to be wrapped up in those scrawny little, tattooed arms, his soft voice humming some song in my ear, would be the best thing in the world.

I never realized it until now but I was head over heels in love with Frank. Probably more now than ever before because I realized how lost I felt without him around me.

And no matter what ... ring was on my finger, who I slept with at night, I would fall asleep with his face being the last one in my mind. And he'd be in my dreams. And he'd be the first thing I thought of when I woke up.

John and I had been ... through a lot together. And I would owe him a lot, for treating me so well for so long, for being my rock.

But I wouldn't be able to forgive him for blowing up at me and Frank back in New York. He had changed over the time span of me and him knowing each other and I had changed a lot too. My feelings for him had changed.

It was beyond over for me and John now and I happened to be moving on with Frank.

Fuck, I couldn't wait until I could parade around with Frank at my side. To be able to tell everyone he was my boyfriend, he was the love of my life.

Because he truly was now.

And the only thing left to do was let go of John.

I didn't know how letting go of John was going to go. Because I was still attached to him, somehow. No matter what John did to me we would always be close and he would always be my friend.

So I called the only person I know would be able to help me and that would have to be the very infamous, Gerard Way.

"Aw, sugar," He cooed when I called him and I felt a tear slip down my cheeks.

Where was I? New York. Maybe miles away from Frank at his apartment, probably pacing the place waiting for me to call. But I couldn't call him yet, he'd have to wait until I had a plan.

Right now, John's plan was for us to get a marriage license in New York. He went out for lunch or whatever so I didn't have much time to talk to Gerard about this.

"Gerard, yo necesito tu ayudas por favor."

"Al, you know I'm italian right?," He quipped and I snorted.

"I said I need your help dumbass."

"Well why didn't you say so sweetheart? Gerard Way, at your service."

"Okay I'm just gonna cut the crap. I love Frank, as you know. And right now, me and him need each other."

"Then just get over here."

"Excuse me?"

"Nevermind. Continue."

"I need to leave John."

"Then do it!," Gerard growled. I snorted at him.

"It's really not that easy."

"Well you and John are pretty close right?"

"Listen to this; close enough that he wants me to marry him and we're in New York getting marriage licenses!"

"Alliyson you truly are a fuck up but I love you."

"Gerard ...," I growled and he giggled.

"I don't know what to tell you other than to convince John that you just can't do it anymore. Tell him the truth, tell him about Frank, everything. I'm sure he'll be mad, maybe even upset. But he'll understand."

"Gerard ....," I whined.

"If anything, we're leaving for England for the Download Festival tomorrow."

"Gerard, what the hell are you suggesting?"

"I'm not suggesting a thing sugar. Other than that we're touring after tomorrow and we'll be at La Guardia Airport at around ... 12:00, Flight 240 to London," He blurted out.

"..."

"Don't be so speechless, you've got to break up with a wrestler soon."

And he hung up.

I sat the phone down on the bed of John and my hotel room. He refused to go to my apartment (for obvious reasons) and rented out this stupid one down in the city. I hadn't gone to visit Sahina and WiL although I talked to Frank and was starting to feel myself again.

What day was tomorrow? June 7th.

I folded my legs indian style and wondered how my conversation with John was going to go. Would he listen to me? Would he flip out? Would he not let me go and hold me captive?

I wouldn't have to wait long because soon I heard the door to the room open and then close and in walked Mr. John Cena himself. He was in his normal apparel, gray t shirt with some design on the front and blue shorts. His army baseball cap fit snug around his huge head. He held two bags of McDonalds in one hand, and a container with coffee and soda in the other.

"Hello dear," He smiled, winking at me and setting the food down on this table set in the corner of the room. "Feeling better?"

I furrowed my eyebrows at him and then remembered the lie I fed him so he could get the food alone and I could call Gerard.

"Fine."

"I got you the large fries," he continued and I rose off of the bed to fetch my food. "And those chicken thingers you like. Oh and a large coca cola."

"Thanks," I mumbled and carried it all with me (including ketchup) to the bed and sat down. spreading it out in front of me and setting the drink on the sidetable. John watched me and then rose from the table, sitting with me and doing the same.

We ate in silence, John with his huge sandwich and I almost gagged. How the hell can you eat another animal like that? Like a cow and everything? I loved cows, I thought they were the cutest things in the world. Okay so they were a tad bit nasty and mooed a whole lot but they had spots! How can you kill something with spots just to make a burger?

I knew Frank would agree with me. Jesus, he was the most gorgeous vegetarian ever.

Oh yeah, now I remembered what I was supposed to do.

John sat there talking about the licenses and stuff, blabbing on about whatever but I zoned out, trying to muster up the courage to talk to him. John got up in the middle of his talking to throw out the garbage then lay next to me, going back to talking.

I gingerly touched John on his kneecap, smoothing my thumb over it and coughed quietly.

"John ... we need to talk."