I Don't Love You

*Alliyson's POV; Chapter 43

John stared at me for a while, his icy blue eyes burning into my simple brown ones, making me feel warm and cold at the same time. I finally spoke.

"Do you...uh, remember the first time we met?," I asked quietly and John nodded eagerly.

"Haven't been the same since," he grinned.

I stared back at him, watching his eyes for a sign of hope. Hope for me to somehow get through this, to say it in all the right words. Then I saw something flicker across those eyes I had fallen in love with. Something I thought I would never see from John Cena.

And it was fear.

"Babe," he began. "I don't get it."

"John I don't know how I'm supposed to say this."

"Is it about why you've been acting so different? You haven't quite been yourself."

Oh, so he noticed.

"Yes! Precisely," I exclaimed.

John sighed," Look I know things haven't been...normal since our last visit to New York."

I almost snorted. Well that was the biggest understatement ever.

"But know I love you and I do these things and I act this way because of that."

I felt my eyes tear up because I knew what was up next. I knew what I had to do. Also because John's words and claims to love me didn't have the same effect on me as they used to. I used to get all butterfly feelings with the "jeez-I'm-the-luckiest-girl-in-the-world" thought.

But now someone else could arise those thoughts and feelings in me now. Only one person could get me to admit I was a horny fool when I was drunk. Only one person who could get my knees to shake and yet give me immense amounts of gray hairs and stress.

And I was sure now more than ever, as I sat here before John, that the guy I spoke of was a short-ass, with breathtaking hazel eyes and a body covered in tattoos.

I took John's huge hands in mine to steady myself as I started to tremble.

"Alliyson, are you okay?," John asked, voice dripping with concern.

"No," I whispered, my tears no longer bothering to stay in my eyes, slipping down my cheeks.

"Alliyson...,"John muttered softly.

I sighed, took a deep breath, "John, we're...we're...through."

John immediately froze, his eyes continuing to stare be down before he set them on our now loosely interlocked hands. He started to...chuckle?

"You're not serious," He confirmed.

"I am, we're over John."

"Babe, be real," He pleaded, looking back at me.

"I...am being real."

John rose from the bed and started to pace the room nervously. He ran his large hands through his short hair. Words I couldn't understand started pouring from his mouth as his eyes searched the room.

I sighed once again, feeling hot tears start to prickle down my face and I held my head in my hands, no longer having enough energy to watch John pace the room.

"You can't possibly be serious," John concluded again, and I heard him stop. I lifted my head up.

"I am John, I just can't do it anymore."

"Is it cause of what happened back at your apartment?," He questioned and I shook my head.

"It's more than that."

"Then what is it?," He asked, sitting in front of me in the same chair positioned in front of the bed. He took my hands in his again but I threw them off and he frowned. "Please tell me."

"John...,"I began and I gulped. Now how was this going to work?

"Please," John begged, tilting my head to face him. When I looked into his peaceful, calming eyes I felt my heart start to break all over again, my bottom lip starting to tremble uncontrollably. John touched my trembling lip with his thumb, rubbing it softly and purring contently at me. "Please," he repeated.

I took another deep breath, not breaking eye contact with him.

"I'm in love with someone else," I revealed, slipping my eyes shut, not having the heart to look at the look at John's face.

John sighed,"It's Frank, isn't it?"

"Mhm," I whimpered softly, silent tears slipping out of my eyes as I turned to John once more to find him smiling a little, the love never leaving his eyes.

"You know, from the minute I saw you, I knew you were trouble. But you captured my heart, fuck you but you did. And...this isn't going to blow over too well here," He mused, taking his other hand to point at his heart with his pointer finger."But...all I want is for you to be happy."

"John I'm so sorry," I pleaded, taking his face in my hands and hugging his face close to my chest as I sobbed. "I'm so so so sorry," I repeated, over and over again and I'm sure I felt John sob with me, wrapping his big arms around my tiny waist and pulling me off the bed and onto his lap.

John sighed, after he had successfully pulled me onto his lap and pulled his face away from my chest. "I'm sure going to miss that spot but that's besides the point. Right now we have to figure out how we're going to get you to Frank."

I stared at him in awestruck and he grinned,"I'm afraid he's probably shit tired of chasing after you Alliyson, I think you need to chase after him now."

"I know," I agreed.

John took my hands in his and started muttering again, "When are you leaving?"

I let go of him, hugging him again,"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow!?,"John exclaimed incredulously and I nodded. "All right, we both just have to make a few calls and I'm sure you'll get to him tomorrow."

I pulled away from John again and held his face in my hands. "Thank you."

"Babe...as long as you're happy."

"Ugh I can't believe I'm doing this...that I did this to us or to you," I mumbled and John scoffed.

"Don't worry about it."

"Well I'm going to eventually so I might as well do it now...although you're sitting right here, under me and all, hearing every single word I'm saying."

John chuckled, "Fugghedaboutit," he said in a fake Italian accent.

"No!,"I exclaimed. "I'm not just going to forget about it because believe it or not John I still love you, although not in the same way as...you know. And I'm never going to forgive myself for hurting you when you've been nothing but great to me as long as you've known me. If there is one quality as a human that I hate more than being capable of having periods it's having the ability to hurt people."

"Shut up," John mumbled, pressing his lips against mine and I sighed.

Sometimes, when you've been with someone for so long and you share your last kiss with them, every feeling you had when you first got together comes back. You become overcome with every emotion possible during it, but you don't think it's really the last kiss ever until later.

Damn me and my philosophies.

John started to pull me close to him, grabbing my thighs in both hands and pulling me up on his lap and I gingerly lay my hands on his enormous chest, pushing him away slowly.

"Sorry,"He breathed, giving me a lop-sided grin. "Got carried away. Let's go make those calls eh?"

"Are you sure?," I asked once more, only for John to nod.

"Anything to make you happy."

Time Elapse

John and I spent the rest of the day together but not together. We spent most of the afternoon making calls, getting ready for tomorrow.

I called a couple people, a couple friends of mine who helped make this whole plan of mine possible.

And John even got me a seat on My Chem's plane ride. He actually set it up so I was right next to Frank, and he wouldn't even know it. And the hotel brought my ticket up right away.

It's amazing what John can do sometimes, with his status and all. Oh and also Mr. McMahon, who I owe a lot for that seat.

John even went out with me shopping, buying things needed for later. Clothes, body stuff at Bath and Body works, new shoes or whatever else. I even got him to go to Hot Topic with me to look for new shirts and stuff. Only John didn't feel like getting caught in there so he bought a hat at some random store to cover his face.

It was the most fun him and I had together for a while and I felt bad that we weren't going out anymore and I was kinda taking his money for all of this. But he said it didn't matter, absolutely anything to help in regards for my happiness.

God, how did I let someone like him, go?

But I guess it didn't matter anymore since I was doing this, I was going on with my plan and all.

There was only one left to do...

Put on your happy hat cause you're gonna get to see me. Just don't tell the object of my affection, capiche? <3YOU.

SENDING...

SENT TO:
Gerardy-kins

*Gerard's POV;

I was scribbling bats absentmindedly on this old notebook when Frank started strumming away on this guitar in front of me, humming this sad tune. I looked up at him slowly to see his eyes closed, fingers floating across the strings.

"Something wrong Frank?," I muttered and he shook his head.

"I miss her."

I sighed and then jumped, feeling my sidekick buzz from inside my pocket. I pulled it out and flipped it open to see a new text message and smiled, looking back up at Frank to see him still have his eyes closed.

"You won't for long."